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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Baby & cold sore

27 replies

megs912 · 14/05/2022 18:03

I'm sorry posting here for traffic

Met my friend today and she was holding my 6m old baby.

She kissed his hands and touched his face and after 20 mins or so I've noticed she has a cold sore hidden under make up. She said it came out 2 days ago.

When I took my baby off her she said what's the issue as I've not kissed his mouth. But he chew his hands after she kissed his hands.

What can I do now? Do you think he'll catch it? He's already had viral meningitis when he was 5 weeks old and I'm loosing the Plot. I'm so scared I can't breathe.

Any advice?

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 14/05/2022 18:38

Breathe and try not to panic. It’s unlikely to pass on, with luck. I would be really bloody angry with your friend. I get cold sores and I don’t go near anyone’s baby.

Original poster
megs912 · 14/05/2022 18:49

Cherrysoup · 14/05/2022 18:38

Breathe and try not to panic. It’s unlikely to pass on, with luck. I would be really bloody angry with your friend. I get cold sores and I don’t go near anyone’s baby.

Thank you.
I really am so angry. I tend to get them and would never go near a baby let alone kiss their hands 😔
I'm most angry with myself as I didn't notice her cold sore before 😔

OP posts:
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/05/2022 18:51

Did you wash babies hands afterwards? If so I’m sure they’ll be fine.

maybe just keep an extra eye out.

people can be really thoughtless

Original poster
megs912 · 14/05/2022 18:56

OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/05/2022 18:51

Did you wash babies hands afterwards? If so I’m sure they’ll be fine.

maybe just keep an extra eye out.

people can be really thoughtless

Yes. As soon as I noticed I used some wet wipes then antibac once I got to the car to get my bag out. But the baby had his hands on his mouth minutes before I even noticed 😣
I'm soo stupid 😩

OP posts:
OnceuponaRainbow18 · 14/05/2022 19:04

You are not stupid at all, honestly it is not your fault. Your friend was super careless. Don’t blame yourself

Fluval · 14/05/2022 19:10

This isn’t your fault at all, and your ‘friend’ is a complete arsehole.

Falconer · 14/05/2022 19:14

Your friend is an idiot. The serious risk to babies by the coldsore virus is in the first 6 weeks of life so please don't worry, it's extremely unlikely to be serious in a 6 month old baby.
I'd still be fuming though!

TeddyisMydog · 14/05/2022 19:18

It's not your fault at all!
I've kissed my own children with a cold sore, I wasn't even aware it was dangerous. Breathe and put the kettle on 💐

Original poster
megs912 · 14/05/2022 19:45

Thank you all for the reassurance ❤️

I'm really hoping he's going to be ok 😣 xxx

OP posts:
BobHadBitchTits · 14/05/2022 19:45

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Whoatealltheminieggs · 14/05/2022 22:02

Your friend is an idiot. Selfish cow! I’d be furious.
However I spent most of the first year of my baby’s life with various cold sores as was really run down and was constantly worried she’d catch one and she didn’t even when I’d kissed her not knowing I’d had one brewing. She never did. Hopefully your baby will be ok

hangrylady · 14/05/2022 22:30

YANBU. As a lifelong coldsore sufferer I'd do everything possible not to pass the virus to others. Although the PP that said it's a lifetime of misery needs to calm down and stop being such a drama queen.

PeterpiperpickedapeckofpickledPEPPAS · 14/05/2022 22:40

The fact that you get cold sores is something of a bonus in this situation OP - it means you will probably have passed on some immunity to the virus during pregnancy or breastfeeding. Did you have any outbreaks during pregnancy or while breastfeeding? If so you will definitely have shared antibodies with him,
The really scary baby and cold sore stories tend to happen to newborn babies whose mothers were never previously exposed to the virus.

SomersetONeil · 14/05/2022 22:43

Yes, I was going to say - if you had coldsores when pregnant or breastfeeding, you would have passed on immunity.

I can’t believe your friend - that is really terrible.

Heathyou · 14/05/2022 22:44

I certainly wouldn't have stopped her holding the baby! But she was wrong to kiss the baby. When baby is at nursery/ with a nanny / childminder / at school they'll constantly be at risk of them. Even more so because you get them yourself. Baby will be fine, even if they get the Coldsore.

ChuckMater · 14/05/2022 22:50

Heathyou · 14/05/2022 22:44

I certainly wouldn't have stopped her holding the baby! But she was wrong to kiss the baby. When baby is at nursery/ with a nanny / childminder / at school they'll constantly be at risk of them. Even more so because you get them yourself. Baby will be fine, even if they get the Coldsore.

I think the OP is more concerned of how dangerous the coldsore virus can be for babies rather than the baby getting coldsores once they are at school.

OP, it isn't your fault and your friend is probably unaware of the danger but you did the right thing. Hopefully baby avoids the germs.

Fromthebirdsnest · 14/05/2022 22:51

I'd be absolutely fuming babies have died from herpies, a quick visit to the doctors would be a good idea Monday just so you know the warning signs to look for , it may sound like pearl clutching but people don't realise how serious it can be for a baby .. so sorry op hope your baby is OK and congratulations x

Johnnypiratesfriend · 14/05/2022 22:52

My friend did this, she didn't know how dangerous it is. I so want to raise awareness.
I spoke to my midwife / health visitor which I suggest you do. She was quite straight with the dangers. However she did reassure me that the reason it kills is because the doctor spend time trying to work out why the baby is ill. If you can explain the baby has been in contact with a Coldsore they can treat it before it reaches the brain.
The danger was worse for me as I don't have cold sores so the baby has no natural protection from me.
My baby didn't catch a cold sore so I'm sure you will be OK. Just talk to health visitor or midwife and watch to see if they get ill.

Ikeptgoing · 14/05/2022 23:42

I'd be fuming at the Friend. How dare she kiss any part of your baby whilst she has a cold sore. What an absolute b.

lonelygirl15 · 15/05/2022 00:12

I get cold sores, from what I understand most of us pick up the virus when we are young, it’s just an unlucky minority of us get noticeable sores and recurrences from it. I guess most people’s immune systems are able to keep it in check so they don’t actually suffer with it.
I think at 6 months old your baby should be absolutely fine but agree it wasn’t particularly fair or responsible of your friend.

NewandNotImproved · 15/05/2022 00:17

lonelygirl do you not know that babies can die from being infected with herpes?

Skyecat · 15/05/2022 00:28

Do speak to a doctor as soon as possible. They can prescribe accicolvir if necessary.

You say you already carry oral hsv (cold sores). As pp say, your baby could still have antibodies from when you were pregnant, and if breastfeeding. The virus sheds asymptomatically regularly, so you don't need to have had a cold sore to pass on the antibodies (these usually go sometime after or pregnancy or breastfeeding stops).

Just to note, for people saying they've never had a cold sore. This doesn't mean you don't have oral hsv1 (or rare but possible oral hsv2 for that matter). 6/10 carry hsv1 somewhere on their body in the UK. Most are asymptomatic.

lonelygirl15 · 15/05/2022 00:40

@NewandNotImproved yes but as far I know that’s generally only newborn/very young babies and usually ones who have had zero exposure to antibodies in the womb. OPs baby is six months old plus will have had exposure to antibodies as OP says she tends to get cold sores.

Heathyou · 15/05/2022 14:45

ChuckMater · 14/05/2022 22:50

I think the OP is more concerned of how dangerous the coldsore virus can be for babies rather than the baby getting coldsores once they are at school.

OP, it isn't your fault and your friend is probably unaware of the danger but you did the right thing. Hopefully baby avoids the germs.

Show quote history

I didn't talk about just school though. Many parents go back to work when baby is 6-12 months old meaning baby in contact with lots more people. I'm fully aware of the risks and wouldn't dream of kissing a baby if I had a coldsore. I don't even really kiss babies until they are older anyway, and not around the face and I don't even get coldsores. But that's by the by. What I'm saying is the risks are when baby is very little. Baby in question is 6 months old so think the risks are basically not there. Happy to be corrected though.

Chick12 · 28/01/2023 05:01

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