AIBU to have a third baby?

[Whatswiththesmalltalk]

Dh and I had children young. Dd is 13 and ds is 9. Financially we are pretty secure, although we only have 3 bedrooms so would need to extend for a third as the other two are too old to share. I have just completed a course to get back into work after being a SAHM for most of their childhood. I know realistically I should just move on, get back into work and be happy with what we have but I just can't shake the feeling of wanting a third child. I feel quite tearful when I think of never having a baby or young child to care for again.

Anyone else had a third after a long age gap?

We were done with 2, 2.5 year gap between them. Came out of the toddler years. Sleeping patterns sorted, nursery fees done. Ahh bliss.

Anyway. Mirena coil is only 99.9% effective. So... that one in a thousand? 🙋🏼‍♀️

DC3 came along quite unexpected (was 12 weeks before I realised it wasn't a stomach bug) when the other were 5 and 7. She wasn't in our plans but wouldn't swap her for the world. I've enjoyed her baby stage much more than the other two, been so much more laid back. Despite the tears and sleepless nights about 2 year ago now when we learned of the pregnancy!

There's nothing unreasonable about wanting a 3rd. There's nothing unreasonable about discussing it, exploring it from a logical and emotional point of view too.

OnlyFoolsnMothers

How can you be so sure on someone else's behalf? You've never even met her children.

There's nothing dreadful about older children developing an iota of accountability and compassion through occasional supervision duties. It's called family life aka learning the world doesn't revolve around you but does in fact need your contribution.

The vision of awfulness about the park sounds like simple bad planning and easily avoidable.

I wouldn't be without any of my siblings and my childhood was the richer for having them. I'm also a better mum because of it.

If your kids are 13 and 9, I would say don’t do it. Enjoy the benefits of having had your kids young. You’ll have freedom and not having the worry of childcare, in your 30s and 40s

Also, if you’ve just finished the course, and the next step is seeking employment, it’s probably “what now” and moving forward into the next stage of life that you’re afraid of, rather than actually wanting another child.

It’s a perspective and opinion- it’s quite obvious that kids of a larger age gap have diff activities- between two parents there is only so much tag teaming you can do.

Don’t worry about the costs of car seats.

Worry about the cost of childcare all over again. The costs of family holidays for 5 . And the cost of putting 3 through college / university / cars and driving lessons / helping them with a deposit for a flat.

Nobody can answer this for you. I wouldn't worry about the age gap if there not sharing a room. I had my first daughter at 19 and 2nd at 21 always wanted another child. 35 now and finally in a financial position to have another. Just need to find a bigger house on the market that else like.

I'd be very tempted if I were you (I started too late and can't have a third now well into my 40s)

BUT the truth is things may not go to plan. I have several friends with autistic or severely disabled children and their lives are a daily struggle because it put a huge strain on everything. Even just having a colicky baby who doesn't sleep would completely throw your family life upside down. Are you prepared for that?

Move on and enjoy the benefits of having your two kids when you were young.

You don’t want to be spanning decades with small kids. I had my last baby at 26 and now at 33 I’m at a huge advantage career wise with no impending maternity leave or time off, older independent kids and still plenty of energy.