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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is quite cheeky?

26 replies

Wishiwaschilled · 13/05/2022 18:47

I've had an incredibly busy and hectic couple of weeks. Dh hasn't been around much and I genuinely haven't stopped each day from the minute I've got up to going to bed because I've had such a lot on plus work.

I do most of the housework anyway and generally keep on top of it very well during the week, but after being out all day yesterday and again today the house is messy, it's messy not filthy.

I told dh I'm not doing anything at all this evening as I'm shattered, I'm putting my feet up and the tidying up can wait until tomorrow, we've finally got a quiet weekend and it will only take an hour in the morning to put the house back together. I never usually leave it for the weekend but I'm exhausted.

Dh was downstairs stomping around with wet washing stating that he supposes he'll have to hang this lot up then, even though I haven't asked him to. Then he's taken ds1 out to drop him off and has sent ds2 upstairs with a pile of wet washing for mummy to hang up.

Aibu to just leave it in a heap?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wishiwaschilled · 13/05/2022 18:48

I did write in paragraphs but they've gone.

OP posts:
Therealpink · 13/05/2022 18:49

Passive aggressive prick.

please don’t touch it. You said tomorrow. It can wait to tomorrow.

ComDummings · 13/05/2022 18:50

Therealpink · 13/05/2022 18:49

Passive aggressive prick.

please don’t touch it. You said tomorrow. It can wait to tomorrow.

Agree ^

DSawyer · 13/05/2022 18:54

leave the washing in a heap! And send DS2 back down stairs with a message for DH to bring you up a cuppa - if you’re feeling cheeky!

mbosnz · 13/05/2022 18:55

I wonder if he's got a bit of a guilty conscience, meaning he's kicking off? Just leave him to it. You've been carrying him, now he can carry you.

Starryskiesinthesky · 13/05/2022 18:56

Why do you do most of the housework? He is a cheeky get and i would just totally ignore him. Do it himself if he wants it done. I am fuming on your behalf!

AntarcticTern · 13/05/2022 18:59

He's being an arse

Georgeskitchen · 13/05/2022 19:00

If its left in a pile who will end up rewashing it tomorrow because it smells?
Not DH imo!!

winterchills · 13/05/2022 19:01

I would be telling him to piss off

girlmom21 · 13/05/2022 19:10

Someone needs to sort the wet washing tonight.

Binsk · 13/05/2022 19:12

I would chuck it back downstairs for him. 🙈

MajesticallyAwkward · 13/05/2022 19:12

What an arse. I'd be telling him either leave it or do it himself (and while he's at it point him to the hoover!) you put your feet up!

I have no time for passive aggressive dick headery. If it's that important it's done immediately he's perfectly capable as an adult human being to do it.

My DH tries this shit occasionally, he's also a fan of loudly doing the thing he thinks I should be doing while muttering just loud enough for me to hear about how he's does everything 😂 last time it was the dishes, so I got the 2yo all excited to 'help daddy' and sent him through ^^

Notimeforaname · 13/05/2022 19:12

Yeah leave it there. You're obviously not working the way he'd like you to 🙄He sounds like a bit of a prick

DDivaStar · 13/05/2022 19:15

Both H and I do the washing but the rule is don't put it on if you cant/won't hang it out.

Having said that is it such a hardship while he's being a taxi service ?

UndertheCedartree · 13/05/2022 19:16

Did he do the washing or did you?

It's fine for you to say you're not doing anything tonight but maybe this is just a lack of communication about the wet washing! I mean he's being incredibly petty, whatever.

Aside from that why do you do all the housework? Are you feeling resentful about that?

Noelsjumper · 13/05/2022 19:18

Who put the wash on? Imo you can't leave wet washing overnight without hanging it up so I'd do that or it'll be more work tomorrow getting it not to smell fousty and be all crumpled.

If he put the wash on then he's responsible for dealing. Is it unusual that he'd put a wash on?

Graphista · 13/05/2022 19:27

Does he normally pull his weight or is he always a lazy passive aggressive twat?

Why do you do most of the housework? And most shouldn't mean all even if you are a sahm

Indicatrice · 13/05/2022 19:33

Why are you doing most of the housework plus work?

Sounds like a very unfair arrangement.

BreakorMake · 13/05/2022 19:36

Put the wet washing on the bottom sheet of his side of the bed. Cover with duvet, leave it there and sleep with one of your kids.

ChiselandBits · 13/05/2022 19:40

yes you can leave wet washing for one night. Unless there is something wrong with your machine it will be fine. I often wash the kids uniforms on a Friday night but if its too late / I can't be arsed to hang it out it goes out the next morning and is dry by 11. OP, just leave it and if he asks just be firm - you said you were doing it tomorrow. If he is not happy with that, he is very welcome to do it himself. Sometimes I love being the only adult in the house - none of this bollocks to negotiate.

GarlicGnocchi · 13/05/2022 19:43

Who put the wash on?
He shouldn't be using your kids in this that is deeply unfair.

Original poster
Wishiwaschilled · 13/05/2022 19:56

I just left it, he came back in and acted all surprised "oh I thought I'd asked ds to give you this". I told him he did but that I'd told him I wasn't doing anything tonight.

I do the housework for a few reasons. I get home from work first so I've got into the habit of doing a bit each day, dh is just absolutely shit at housework, he clearly hates it, he'll always find an excuse not to do it, or he doesn't do it properly, after 15 years together I've given up. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying he's lazy or useless because he does do stuff and he doesn't sit on his arse all the time.

It's just you can really tell I've got behind with it the past couple of days, it's obviously bothering him that the house is messy because he put the wash on and he now wants to rope me into tidying up 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Graphista · 13/05/2022 20:33

I get home from work first

And who leaves for work first?

If you're both working full time he should be doing his share properly!

dh is just absolutely shit at housework, he clearly hates it, he'll always find an excuse not to do it, or he doesn't do it properly

You have fallen for

"Strategic incompetence"

Op

I'm not saying he's lazy or useless

If the shoe fits

JurasicPerks · 13/05/2022 20:41

He put the wash on, he hangs it up!
Dont leave it til tomorrow, because it will fester.

GarlicGnocchi · 13/05/2022 20:53

Wishiwaschilled · 13/05/2022 19:56

I just left it, he came back in and acted all surprised "oh I thought I'd asked ds to give you this". I told him he did but that I'd told him I wasn't doing anything tonight.

I do the housework for a few reasons. I get home from work first so I've got into the habit of doing a bit each day, dh is just absolutely shit at housework, he clearly hates it, he'll always find an excuse not to do it, or he doesn't do it properly, after 15 years together I've given up. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying he's lazy or useless because he does do stuff and he doesn't sit on his arse all the time.

It's just you can really tell I've got behind with it the past couple of days, it's obviously bothering him that the house is messy because he put the wash on and he now wants to rope me into tidying up 🤷‍♀️

He started the wash he has to finish it. Anyone can shove the washing in the machine that's the easy bit.

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