Should I have admitted I had MH/ Alcoholism issues?

[recoveringyoungalco]

I am due my 1st DC in a few months. I would have posted in alcohol issues but I wanted to maybe reach more nurses/ Drs/ health care workers.

I was in for my clinic last week and can't stop thinking if I should have said nothing. I was asked to provide info on my mental health, I answered them all truthfully. My current mood is really good and I am thankfully in a wonderful place. I have been sober more or less for the last 2 years, with a few slips (I don't keep full track of how long I am sober it doesn't work for me) I haven't drank since about 2 months before I became pregnant.

Should I have told the maternity hospital I had issues? I felt that I shouldn't lie, one question asked if I had been resident in a mental health hospital (or something to that extent). I did spend time in a MH hospital in 2020, which is when I admitted my alcohol consumption did need addressing too. I addressed my MH/ lot of childhood trauma that was bottled up/ alcoholism.

Does anyone know if the mat hospital will think I'm just an alco/ a little loopy? Like a black mark against me? Will it change how they view me? I know it shouldn't but I know ppl are ppl and judge constantly. Should I have just said nothing. Like if there is something wrong with baby, everything has been perfect so far, will they just presume I've been drinking and damaged my child and won't help?

YABU - the hospital will not judge you
YANBU - They will judge you

The only reason they ask is to ascertain whether you are vulnerable and whether the unborn baby could be at any risk. Primarily to provide support to you both.

Do you feel 100% sure that you won't relapse, and you're mental health is strong enough? Do you have adequate support at home?
If not then I would confide in the midwife and they can make sure you have access to any support you might need.

Best not to lie and it's really less important that any individual judges you (which they shouldn't) than that your records are accurate and you and your baby get the right kind of help and support armed with all the relevant information. It sounds like you're doing great and congratulations for that, but 2020 isn't long ago and they might want to keep an eye to make sure your MH doesn't dip, as can happen with all the changes internal and external that becoming a mum can bring. That's what's important really. I don't think they'd presume you're an alco/loopy/have damaged your baby, but equally some mothers are at risk where those elements are concerned and it's right that they're kept track of just in case. This is just another part of having to put your DC's well-being above your own insecurities and your instincts have been good so trust them and keep it up.

They ask because these things can put you at higher risk for PND. I was admitted before getting pregnant, and I’m glad I told the hospital as they could ensure I got more frequent appointments with the health visitor, special guidance on noticing PND and she kept an extra eye out for my mental well-being in checkups. None of which ended up being necessary as I did not have PND in the end… but it was nice to know I was being looked after :)

Oh- and it wasn’t judgmental or fretting that DD was at risk from her awful crazy mother, which I had also worried about. The HV and midwives were just lovely people who wanted to make sure something stressful was made as easy as possible. I also had a meeting with a midwife well in advance to draw up a birth plan, as I have trauma issues so wanted clear guidance for docs on how to keep from triggering me during labour & birth. Really was invaluable and I’m glad I was honest.

They see people with similar, and worse, issues every day. I bet coming across someone who is aware of, and honest about, struggles they've had is a massive relief - they can then put supports in place if necessary without finding out too late.

Congratulations and best wishes for a happy, healthy pregnancy and a smooth delivery.

They ask so they can support you properly when you have a baby
You may be higher risk of PND and if they know that they can monitor closely for it and help you quickly.
Always tell the truth they are not judging just wanting to help.

Btw awareness and having got help in the past is a massive resilience factor so looks very good for you.
If you didn't declare it and they find it on your medical records that doesn't look so good.

Congratulations on your pregnancy stay open and enjoy your baby. Get support if needed

Thanks everyone. I did ask the midwife before I left but very briefly. She did say it's nothing to be ashamed of and well done on getting help. It's to flag it for a follow up with the mental health nurse. And to make sure I phoned looking for support if needed. She also said around 50% of women at that trust get some sort of mh help durinf/ after pregnancy.

I lived with a student nurse in uni. I remember her saying stuff about not bothering with alco/ druggies and just wanting them gone. But who knows what department she was working in and she was a student so may not have been seeing the full picture.

If you had a history of, say, high blood pressure or diabetes, you'd tell the hospital that so they can make sure they look out for any signs that you might need some extra care during/after your pregnancy, right? Well, telling them you've had some problems with alcohol and mental health is really just the same as that. It's purely just so they know what support to offer you if you need it - it means they can check in with you about your mental health when they see you, so you have the opportunity to say something if you need some help. I promise you it's a good thing and they won't be judging you.

Congrats on your pregnancy, and enjoy your new baby when he or she arrives! (And don't forget: if you need some mental health support at any point in the future, there is no shame in asking for it!)

With respect to the student nurse you knew, I think sometimes people get fed up with seeing the same people over and over again with the same self induced issues around alcohol poisoning or overdosing. But I dont know any health professionals who would not be cheering you on for getting clean and sober, and being honest about your struggles. Especially if you used to self medicate. The more they know, the better they can help you. Congratulations on your recovery and your baby.

Oops I voted YANBU to mean you weren’t unreasonable to have told them- sorry!