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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to get hacked off with people who talk too much in meetings?

62 replies

cloudfall · 13/05/2022 12:35

Just had the most tedious 3 hour long meeting that was at least twice as long as it needed to be, due entirely to the fact that people don't know how to be circumspect and waffle on and on making the same point in a really convoluted way.

I think the entire discussion could be summarised in one paragraph and yet it went on for 3 hours. AIBU to think some people love the sound of their own voice too much?!

OP posts:
SirChenjins · 13/05/2022 12:39

YANBU

It's always the same people too. Their updates last as long as everyone else's put together and we have to sit watching the clock tick round while they go into minute detail about every single thing they've been working on. I always wonder whether they have absolutely no self awareness or just enjoy boring everyone.

galacticpixels · 13/05/2022 12:42

I know the type! My old team had two people like this and it was exhausting. Trying to set time limits didn't even work. We'd said "okay, we need to move to the next topic" and they'd say "oh yeah..." and KEEP TALKING.

notacooldad · 13/05/2022 12:45

It gets mentione in my supervisions that I don’t talk enough. I’ve said numerous times I don’t need to. There’s someone who talks more than enough for the whole team so what’s the point.
This person just uses words for the sake of it with comments such as ‘ can I just say……’ and you can see everyone to a small sigh and think ‘ I’d rather you didnt’

hoomaeyy · 13/05/2022 12:45

This drives me mad.

Although I feel a bit bad that it drives me mad because in my meetings it tends to be the people that don't have family and are a bit lonely/haven't been out over covid that tend to waffle on.

I understand they need to socialise and are struggling etc but is an important meeting the time to start talking about your cat and what you brought for tea?! Makes it even worse when others entertain the conversation and you are say there for an hour longer than needed thinking "just fucking kill me".

PearlclutchersInc · 13/05/2022 12:45

Drives me potty - especially when I'm taking minues (trying not to zone out and miss the necessary bits) Especially where it turns into a group discussion because no-one is willing to make a decision.

tanstaafl · 13/05/2022 13:12

SirChenjins · 13/05/2022 12:39

YANBU

It's always the same people too. Their updates last as long as everyone else's put together and we have to sit watching the clock tick round while they go into minute detail about every single thing they've been working on. I always wonder whether they have absolutely no self awareness or just enjoy boring everyone.

We had to make sure a particular person was always the last to give an update or no one else would have been able to.

I guess this thread is as much about meeting etiquette as what also has me grinding my teeth is looping. Going over the same topic again and again.

PumpkinPie2016 · 13/05/2022 21:31

YANBU I have one in my team. You can see everyone losing the will to live while she witters on 🙄

If I am leading the meeting, I ended up having to be fairly blunt and say, 'we need to move on now, if you would like to discuss this further, we can arrange to meet separately'. Otherwise we'd never get through it!

Another good strategy is one used in our senior team meetings when several people are presenting. They are told in advance that they will have X amount of time. The deputy head does timing on her phone so that they have to stop after the alloted time. Works an absolute treat!

DilemmaBlah · 13/05/2022 21:56

Yes! We have a “team” meeting on Fridays and it consists of just one senior talking at everyone for an hour. No one else can get a word in and when they try she interrupts and talks over them. Then the senior senior joins after an hour and it’s basically a conversation between the two of them while the rest of us sit there twiddling our thumbs. There is definitely no “team”.

CounsellorTroi · 13/05/2022 22:02

YANBU. So many meetings go on for much longer than they need to, either from people who like the sound of their own voices too much or poor chairmanship.

PuppyMonkey · 13/05/2022 22:05

What was the point of the meeting in the first place? Did you really need a meeting or just an email between yourselves and some follow up emails if necessary?

Were there biscuits? Grin

SirChenjins · 14/05/2022 08:08

CounsellorTroi · 13/05/2022 22:02

YANBU. So many meetings go on for much longer than they need to, either from people who like the sound of their own voices too much or poor chairmanship.

In our team it’s the Chair who loves the sound of their own voice. Fortunately we’re now meeting over Teams so I can mute myself and look at emails from time to time while they’re talking which breaks things up a bit.

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 14/05/2022 08:15

When we were all wfh and the meetings were on zoom I used to bring dds rabbit in for support. Cant do that back in the office.

FusionChefGeoff · 14/05/2022 08:37

God I've got one of these in my team at the moment - he's very knowledgeable I'm sure and has a level of detail that no else has - but the point is that no one else needs it!!!!

He's there as a specialist and I'm there as overview project manager and our client meetings are awful as he just rambles on and we get no where as he loses everyone (including me) in the jargon waffle and I struggle to understand and summarise the actions!!

I'm also hesitant to interrupt him in case the next sentence is the one that's suddenly going to make it all make sense Grin

I do think there's a healthy chunk of male entitlement in there too and he doesn't react well to me trying to interrupt / move him on as he just gets louder and carries on talking over me.

He's a contractor so I can't speak to a line manager - any tips on how I can bring this up??

annonymousse · 14/05/2022 08:57

I hate people like this. Inside I'm screaming JUST GET TO THE POINT!!!! It's one of the reasons I have never progressed to management level. I can't waffle.

LittleScottieDog · 14/05/2022 09:01

I had this at one school where I was reprimanded for not speaking much in meetings, when they had THREE incredibly vocal people who would just jump in and say things at length and the chair (person who reprimanded me) would never invite other thoughts from the rest of us.

Also, from September 2020, the whole team were working from home except two is us were in school. We joined our meetings from school. Often the meeting would witter on, especially with people asking questions that were pertinent only to their own role, sometimes going over time. Then they'd all log off and go downstairs to dinner or whatever, but colleague and I would still have to pack up and leave work. Used to piss me off they wouldn't remember that not all of us had zero commute.

Lizziekisss · 14/05/2022 09:03

We have a team meeting weekly, and there’s one person who always starts with saying they don’t have much to contribute, and then they are off and no one else can get a word in. They def like all the attention on them.

motherofchihuahuas · 14/05/2022 09:39

Same. It's draining. I can't help it but i start zoning out listening to them droning on and on about nothing that could have been said in one sentence.

I have no suggestions I don't know how to tackle this. Sigh.

DrManhattan · 14/05/2022 13:18

I just check out if that's happening. Camera off and sort my own emails. I do give feedback too. In a positive way. Doesn't change much, some people just go on and on and on ....

TokyoTen · 14/05/2022 14:01

YANBU. This week my boss droned on for 35 minutes about how we "must review and justify April's figures". I always do this everything month anyway... but I haven't got the bloody figures yet because they aren't released yet. In the end I told him and just said "We all do this job every month, I'll sure we'll do it for April too... we haven't got the figures yet so why are we spending 35 minutes talking about it?" I didn't even care if he fired me!

Thepeopleversuswork · 14/05/2022 14:08

Its always the same people. And it’s always men.

annonymousse · 14/05/2022 15:28

It's not always men where I work. One of my colleagues can turn giving me a simple message into a story of epic proportions 🥴

SirChenjins · 14/05/2022 15:31

Not in my team - the worst by far are some of the women. They’re the ones who like a chat across the desk (although the prefer the term ‘collaboration’) or the self professed visionaries or ideas people. Yawn.

NoToLandfill · 14/05/2022 15:32

Always men. Always tedious and dull. Do they really not know what they are doing? Or is it all a power play to take up all the airtime on purpose?

SpeedofaSloth · 14/05/2022 15:32

Yes, I have one in my team. Attention seeker with a complete lack of empathy.

chisanunian · 14/05/2022 15:36

Unless of course they are the culprit themselves, the only person responsible for allowing all this endless yackety-yack is the Chair. They need to grasp the reins and steer the meeting properly - and telling people to either get to the point or stfu is part of that responsibilty.