To never want a relationship again?

[LadyAntFarmer]

I've been a single parent for about 6 years, my DCs father and I split because he was extremely abusive.

Over the last couple of years, my friends and family have all tried/offered to set me up with various people. I've taken them up on the offer a couple of times mainly to appease them, but a relationship isn't something I want in my future, for many reasons, including:

1. I've never been happier than I am right now
2. I don't want anyone else coming in and disrupting mine and my child's routine
3. Based on what happened with my child's father, I genuinely don't think I'll ever fully trust someone again

People, especially my DM, tell me all the time how they "want to see me with someone nice" or that they don't want me to "end up alone".

AIBU when I say I don't ever want to be in a romantic relationship again??

I'd say never say never. You don't need to say never just ignore them. You might meet someone one day and will look like a total arse if you've been preaching to everyone about how you'll never ever have another relationship again. Just ignore or change the subject.

I think it’s fine to feel that and it will also be fine down the line if you change your mind. Why commit to something for the rest of your life? Chances are that at some point further down the line happenstance will throw someone in your path and you’ll feel differently. Do what feels right at this moment and forget the future.

Why do you take them up on the offer if you don’t want a relationship? I’ve been single for 5 years now as also a single parent but no one ever tries to set me up, Or even comments on it, they know I’m busy with my kids, are you sure you are not giving off some kind of vibe?

Also I’m not sure why you would think it’s unreasonable relationships are not compulsory but I do wonder why they keep trying to set you up.

Never say never ,its fine not to want a relationship
But tbh you never know what's going to happen one day you might feel differently.

YANBU, at all.

Honestly, I think it’s time we move on and realise that relationships (as in partners) really aren’t all that, let alone a necessity.

I hope one day part of small talk, or bigger, isin’t the ”do you have boyfriend”.

Sorry about the rant.
Just resently met a lot of miserable, old fashioned people.

YANBU but you need to stop trying to appease them by going on these dates.

It's time to tell them to stfu about it.

I feel the same way.

Also, big eye roll for the ”never say never” comments.

Just goes to show how obsessed society is about relationships.

Let’s be a little more supportive.
Live your best life.

Wise decision. Taking a break is sensible, you can have a clear idea of how you want your life to go ahead without accommodating the needs and wants of another adult. You can always change your mind.

Yanbu at all
people like this do shut up eventually, started happening to me when I was about 40. They could see I was happy, and frankly, a lot freer than them!

Yes - HUGE eye roll, nearly hurt my eyes there!

YANBU. You should live however you want to for as long as you are happy. Don’t rule anything out but don’t try to please others. I’ve been single since my divorce 14 years ago. I love doing whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. If i want to eat cornflakes for dinner in bed at 8pm while watching Netflix, I don’t have to justify it to anyone. I don’t have to compromise, get into debates about who does what around the house, where to go on holiday, what to do at the weekend etc. I’ve had a life of taking others into consideration and I absolutely love the peace that making decisions that feel right for me brings. I don’t feel the need for a relationship, I don’t have much of a sex drive so that’s not an issue. Please yourself, then one person is happy.

I think if you are happy on your own with your DD that is fantastic. Too many people bounce into relationships because they can't handle being alone. I don't know how old your DD is but treasure these years with her, they go so fast.

Never say never, but it is so much better to wait for the right person to come along...the one who makes all the colours of your already lovely life seem that bit brighter. A potential step dad will inevitably be a disruption, so better to wait and let it be a disruption that is so worth it for you both because they add so much extra warmth to your lives.

Also step parenting is a hard transition for everyone involved - child can resent the new person, natural parent feels their loyalties torn, step parent feels like the outsider. It's so much easier to date when they are older.

I look back and regret the dating and relationships I did when my kids were school aged, because I just thought I needed to do it, I never considered being alone as an option. But they didn't work out and it was a waste of emotional energy.

Go with your gut instincts and enjoy your time with your DD

YANBU, though I'm guessing you know that already.

Thanks all!!

It's more that everyone around me seems to be doubling down on the "wouldn't it be wonderful if you met the man of your dreams" BS and I'm made to feel like I'm being so unreasonable by saying I don't see that ever being something I want for my future 😂