Husbands low self esteem hurting marriage

[Getonwithit1]

My husband has incredibly low self esteem. He's taking medication and has been in therapy which helped, although he has recently stopped as be thinks he doesn't need it anymore.

He gets jealous when I wear pants that are slightly tight, when I go catch up with my friends of the opposite sex, even if we are in a big group. My husband is always invited, but sometimes he's working so he obviously can't.

He doesn't believe me when I tell him I love him and when I tell him he looks good he says he doesn't.

Any advice would be wonderful, I feel like I'm walking on eggshells

I knew when I saw the title, OP, that his "low self-esteem" would manifest in jealousy and not liking you mixing with other people. Then the tell-tale expression "walking on eggshells".

At least he made a bit of an effort to solve his problem, but if he thinks he is cured, why is still being jealous?

Did the therapy help him identify that it’s his low self esteem which is causing his jealousy & not your actions that are wrong?

Does he accept that it’s his problem but does it regardless?

He has trust issues by sounds of it. Maybe suggest couples therapy to address how they’re damaging your relship? Might help get him to own it more & want to manage his insecurities better rather then putting them onto you.

All v text book I know as therapy & getting someone to go are not nec easy, practical, affordable or do-able.

But I couldn’t live with an ex like that fwiw because he never owned it was his stuff. Tried to control what I wore eg shorts in summer etc got annoyed if I spoke to the waiter etc. It never stopped me but my having to fight to just be able to have the same rights to living that he was entitled to made it a deal breaker.
It is controlling & so easily can tip over into coercive behaviour.

His low self esteem doesn’t make it ok for him to be abusive towards you - telling you what to wear and who you can see is controlling; feeling like you can’t upset him is his abusive behaviour

You should never feel that you're walking on eggshells around your partner. His jealousy and wish to control you (what you wear, who you see) are ruining your relationship.

He has to see this is his problem and deal with it. If he doesn't, I'd leave. It's no way to live, and you can't fix him.

So he had some therapy ans medication but he thinks he is cured even though his behaviour is still shit?

His supposed self esteem issues are not an excuse to be controlling towards you. He must deal with his issues or move on.

He gets jealous when I wear pants that are slightly tight, when I go catch up with my friends of the opposite sex, even if we are in a big group.

This is not due to his 'low self-esteem'. Low self-esteem and jealousy do not automatically go hand-in-hand. He may well have low self-esteem, but his jealousy absolutely should not be accepted as a natural consequence of that, because it isn't. it's a separate issue and it is not remotely OK. Low self-esteem is not an excuse for him to be horrible to you.