This happened a few years ago but interested to know what you think.
Girl I met in uni was getting married. We weren’t very close, but got on well, were part of the same friendship group and shared a house in 3rd year. I was invited to her hen-do, all very lovely.
I and another friend left the hen party a few hours early (not very early, we just missed lunch on the final day) and as we left she said to me and my friend “I left your wedding invitations at the hotel, I’ll post them on to you”. All smiles and we thanked her and left.
Fast forward three months, her wedding is in a week’s time and I look for the invitation to check the details and realise that I never received one. Checked with my other friend - she had received hers (she was a closer friend to the bride and had seen her in person several times since the hen do).
So I was then in a dilemma. My thinking went something like:
- She invited me to her hen party, and to her wedding verbally, so maybe she just forgot that she never sent me the invite. It might look to her as though I had snubbed her, not bothered to rspv? There was a possibility she might have ordered food for me, expecting me to be there as she hadn’t heard otherwise?
- But then - you’d think that she would have followed up with me, if she really wanted or expected me there wouldn’t you?
- Maybe she just didn’t want to invite me. But if that’s the case I was the only friend in the group without an invitation - and I was invited to the Hen, so she clearly liked me enough at that point? There was no falling out at the hen or anything. All very mysterious.
I couldn’t figure it out, and I didn’t want to run the risk of offending her by potentially seeming to ignore her, so in the end I got a mutual friend to ask her whether or not I was invited (cringe). Cue text message (friendly enough) from her inviting me to the evening party.
On the evening itself, when I showed up, she said a brief hello, then completely ignored me. Fair enough, she had more important people and plans on her mind. I gave her a card with a small gift of money.
But I have never seen or heard from her since. Not a snifter.
For a long time I felt pretty embarrassed because in hindsight she clearly had not intended to invite me, and probably was quite annoyed that I invited myself.
But more recently I’ve been thinking - surely I wasn’t that unreasonable? She invited me to her hen and told me she had an invite for me…what’s a girl to do?!
Curious to know how others interpret the situation and whether you think I was unreasonable?