To think that I’m doing my best with this new colleague?

[Poodlee]

I’ve got a new colleague. She is a little younger than my but by only a few years…
I’ve been training her for a couple of weeks and I’m struggling.

She constantly (and I’m mean like 5-10 times a day) apologies for not knowing stuff and keep saying thank you for explaining stuff to her. It’s driving me nuts!
I’m not expecting her to know stuff and happy to explain but I need her to listen and she doesn’t! She just doesn’t take it in and then gets frustrated… I’ve got quite a lot on at work and she should have been easing the load. I know it’s only been a little time so definitely will give her more to get used to it…
but I need her to use her initiative, listen and make herself useful…

i feel shit, the constant apologies and thank yous and nervousness is making it more difficult to me than it was before.

any tips?

Tell her to write down and save up all her questions for one meeting a day, rather than constant pestering. And definitely to make notes. She shouldn't be repeatedly asking you about things which have been already covered.

Hopefully not the case, but she could just be useless. Worked with some people like that, you hope they'll get the idea eventually and it's just taking time. Months down the line, you're still having to fix mistakes they should know and have given up telling the bosses because they don't care. I actually had someone join a team who didn't even know the very basics of the job that they should have learnt in uni. It became obvious very quickly that they had paid for their degree, knew nothing and weren't interested in learning. They didn't last long.

Agree with trying the coaching approach, doesn't matter how many times someone talks me through a process, I won't really understand it until I work through it. For some people they need to write things down in their own words, for some they need to talk through the process for it to 'click'.

Coaching approach - what do you think comes next? - may help, as may asking her to show you how it's done so she can be the one that's hands on (obviously be ready to ask questions to prompt her as she goes along).

how are you actually training her? I have had good trainers and trainees where: I do it first, explaining the steps, then they do it but i pretty much tell them the steps, then they do it while i'm watching. Usually it involves a printed manual and they or i write notes on it.

I was in one job where the training was awful, i didn't know how my part fit into the overall picture, why we did things, what the things we were doing were supposed to achieve etc. After a bit of a breakdown i left because the trainer seemed to think that learning works by osmosis and telepathy.

The things i have learned best, btw, are when the person isn't there (sick, left, CBA) and i had to "learn by doing" - is that an option?

Can you consolidate the existing notes into a SOPs or handover pack all.in one place for her role so she can refer to that?

Agreed with coaching her through doing things rather than explaining. Start with the aim of the task and an overview of the process, then the steps.

I worked with a very, very difficult to teach person. It was similar to the apologising but her approach was to agree enthusiastically and say she had got everything, had no questions, saying things like 'thanks! That makes perfect sense now!' And it turned out she had no clue and wasn't doing much at all or making a real mess. It was just a way of deflecting the issue down the road a bit rather than clarifying in the first place what she needed to do.

She wasn't new, I took over as her manager. I had the most success by coaching her through as above, plenty of repetition then finally getting her to show me the process herself.

If it was something online then I'd send instructions with screenshots.

Also, after giving her a task or instruction I would ask her to explain in her own words what I was asking her to do. Sounds patronising AF but it was the only way to work out if it had gone in or not.

does her cv, previous work experience link to current role or is she related to owner? job is maybe not a good fit for her

I always try a three stage approach with training.

1. I talk through the process, from beginning to end and explain why we do it the way we do. I always point out I don't expect them to remember it all at this point, it's just an overview
2. I show them the process, clarifying at each point "do you remember I explained we do this because of xyz"
3. Get them to show me the process when it happens, and they have to 'train me'. Talk through what they're doing and why they are doing it.

If 3 doesn't go well, we go back to 1, or 2 depending on what the issue is. Make sure they have correct notes to refer to, or a list of where to go for answers if you need product codes etc.
If 3 goes well enough I would then expect to be on hand for the next 2-3 run throughs, so present but not standing over their shoulder. I would then be 'on call' incase they needed me until they passed their probation but if the same issues were coming up I'd go back to 3, get them to talk through the process so I can see where the failed understanding is.

If she's literally just failing to remember anything I'd suggest she makes herself coherent process notes, assuming work provided ones aren't helping her, and to spend her evenings memorising and working through it. It's boring but has to be done.
If she's really not getting then you need to speak to her line manager so they can start bringing it up in regular reviews so her probation can be extended if necessary, or can be failed. If she's not told early enough and helped to improve she can't be failed and then you're stuck with her.

People learn differently. If you're 'telling' her things, and despite listening and writing it down, then YOU need to find another way, so that she does understand. How abouting letting her do something and coach her through, step by step.

Also ask yourself, is your frustration evident. If she's apologising and thanking you constantly, she may feel nervous about having to approach you because she's aware you don't have the patience for her. That's not going to get the best performance out of anyone.

New job so maybe a deer in spotlight situation. Maybe start the day with a summary of what you are going to show her, and why, and what you expect her to be able to do by the end of the day. End of the day summarise what you have covered and what you expect her to be able to do (again for emphasis).