Heard great news but not directly from friend

[KaraVanPark]

Good friend has got a new job .. great news.. only I found out via a friend of mine and they heard it from a friend of theirs. I’m annoyed they didn’t tell me themselves.. maybe we aren’t good a friends as I thought.
Known each for years, know each other’s deepest darkest secrets. Feel bloody stupid with times I’ve banged on about how great our friendship is!

It's not the sort of news I would feel I needed to pass on straight away. It's something I would tell people when I was speaking to them anyway.

If it was something like an engagement or pregnancy, I would tell people straight away.

I think you might be reading too much into it.

How often do you speak? I just got a new job and have only told people I've been speaking to anyway, contacting someone specifically to say 'look how great I am' feels like showing off.

Are you generally paranoid about things? Or are you havr difficulties in life sucb as employment, marriage issues or not being able to make and keep friends?

In orher words are you upset about YOUR life and hearing your friends news has made you feel jealous and insecure?

Unless you helped her with her CV, paid for her interview outfit, drove her to the interview I don't see why you are being so sensitive and making her good news aboit you.

Try to be happy for your friend instead of the negative feelings you are experiencing at the thought of someone elses good news.

I'm in the process of getting a new job - I haven't really spoken about it much as I feel that might jinx it! If I haven't seen someone in person, I haven't mentioned it as it feels a bit weird to bring it up in a text/ WhatsApp.

I wouldn't be getting ratty, especially if you've heard it 3rd hand. It might not even be true. And even if she has got a new job, I'm sure she'll tell you the next time she speaks to you.

Huh?

Sounds way OTT.

When I had my baby my friends found out before I had even really told anyone. My mum told her friend who randomly told her friend etc. I was upset that I didn't get the opportunity to tell people myself before people started finding out (this was less than 3 hours after giving birth!). Maybe something like that happened and she bumped into one person and told them and then it's just been jungle drums before she's had an opportunity to tell people how she wants to yet.

it feels a bit self indulgent to be making it about you.

I wouldn’t always say I was interviewing for a new job incase I was unsuccessful, perhaps she’d rather update you at your next meeting.

The original person might have been a professional contact!
It's a bit weird to 'announce' these things. She'd probably have told you the next time you meet.

Seriously?

New job is barely a news.

Is there something that makes it a big event?
Eg she's been out of work for a long time, had a horrible time at her old job, got qualifications to work in a new field etc? Anything that makes it 'announcement worthy' iyswim?

If not then it's not really special news imo. More something you mention when you're having a chat.

I would only be annoyed if I'd spoken to her, since she got it, and she hadn't told me. It's perfectly normal to tell you at next call/meet up. She might of told someone she happened to bump into - then word has spread, before she has contacted friends. She might have something else going on. She might not think it's a big deal, or think it's off to brag. Basically, it's not about you.

Jobs would be something I'd talk to someone about when I actually met up and they said how are you doing. I would feel really a bit show off to text and say "Hey I've got a great new job with a massive pay rise!" Subtext: aren't I great and doing so much better than you? .... ...my own brother just got a new job and I found out from my mum!

Nah I wouldn't be annoyed at all about this. People change jobs all the time and some see it as important and others don't so much. In my line of work, it ends up being several part time jobs which overlap so it isn't unusual to have a new job every year or so. I wouldn't update my friends each time as it gets boring, they'd generally possibly know if it comes up naturally in conversation.

Quite a weird reaction! Errrm it’s just a new job - why does she need to tell you personally? I’m sure she will anyway next time you speak, but honestly what is it to you?!

Unless you've spoken to her since she got the job and she didn't tell you, then you are overreacting. Nobody announces a new job, you tell people as the subject arises.

Do you always make everything about you, or just this? You are taking something totally inconsequential and making it very personal.

I would only take this personally if I had helped her with the application or talked about the interview process in detail with her.