To be fed up of ‘random man’ interactions

[Organictangerine]

Just got stuck talking to a bloke on crutches while walking my dogs in the park. No problem but after a full 5 minutes of him wittering on about nothing much I make it clear I’m in a bit of a hurry and carry on. Reach a remote part of the park at the back behind some trees. After a few minutes realise he has followed me (despite struggling using the crutches through the wood) and is clearly expecting to carry on the chat! I make excuses and leave.

AIBU to be fed up of men seeing women (and 99% of the time it is women) as decorative humans there to provide smiles and endless chit chat? I realise the above doesn’t seem massive but after 1000 similar interactions I’m getting fed up.

I get this too OP. Yes occasionally older women on their own talk to me but I get a lot of “helpful advice” and comments from random men of ages where they should know better. Tips on how I should teach my son his bike shouted across the road, helpful parking tips, comments on whether I’m smiling and amazement that I’m not flattered by being asked if I’m married….always men. No man or woman has ever done these to my husband.

Delivery drivers do this to me on our farm

Get out the van and want to talk about the animals; the building site etc etc and then I feel rude saying okay well thank you bye!!

I must start taking my laptop out with me and saying well; better get back to work.....!

I find women, usually older ladies, are much more likely to try and chat to me. In any case, I don't mind, whether it is a man or a woman, I think social interactions with real people are important.

If someone wasn't taking the hint that I needed to move on, I might conclude they don't take in social signals well and so I'd try and make them more obvious. Depending on a number of factors, obviously.

Makes me glad my (big) dog hates strange men and barks at them on walks. No stranger ever tries to walk with us.

I also don't know why anyone thinks men aren't also expected to be polite in this way, I don't know anyone who would say women should but men shouldn't. My husband gets a lot of old guys who want to talk about random guy stuff with him. I think it's his hat, he seems like he should be interested.

i was speaking to DH about this earlier. I said very few women would feel able to confront a man particularly in a secluded area, so we end up politely explaining our way away from them and so the cycle continues. So annoying

I agree. And I’m surprised that PP’s are saying that women do it to men in the same way ie following them (into secluded areas) when they’ve clearly shut down the conversation & left.

You def do get pple of both sexes with poor social skills, who just word vomit AT you & who you have to get away from, or who are lonely, or just being chatty - of both sexes obviously.

Maybe it’s just that as women there is always going to be that ever present fear of danger & the frustration is that a lot of men in general still seem completely oblivious to how their attention can be perceived as unwanted, threatening, misogynistic, unnecessary etc.
Being assertive is all well & good but how many men have stopped & thought what it’s really like to have to get your keys ready in hand, pretend you’re on the phone, pretend you’re walking to a different address, be about to run etc because of their behaviour - all of which could be perfectly innocent on their part, but nonetheless comes across as intimidating.

I find this so annoying! It often happens on work trips away. I've ended up sitting near a random bloke I work with who I don't know that well who will go on an on about some hobby they do and never ask me any questions.
A bloke a few weeks back talked endlessly to me on the train about his job and when i got off I realised he had no idea what I did (which is a much more interesting job than his!).
We just need to speak up for ourselves a bit more maybe.

Well, he shouldn't have followed you. That was a bit pushy. But I genuinely have more women rabbiting on at me than men, when I'm out and about. Not that it happens very often as my head is generally in the clouds. If you don't want to be verbally accosted by men and it happens so often as to be an inconvenience, perhaps just assume they ALL want to talk to you and try and look distracted by something else as soon as you see one. The sky. An interesting leaf. A puddle in the shape of the Isle of Man. Or just say a polite 'hello' and walk purposefully by. That's usually my strategy because I'm pretty antisocial shy.