How to get over something traumatic??

[Dontmissastride]

I had a bad fall off my horse. It was over a year ago and I’m fully recovered physically, but I feel like I’m not fully over it mentally.

For context, my horse bucked me off from a fast canter and I landed on my neck against the side of the arena wall. I just remember sobbing in the back of the ambulance and wondering what I had broken and feeling utterly terrified. I also knocked a big dent in my helmet so I’m extremely grateful I was wearing it!

But my confidence has taken a big knock from it. I’m healed up and back loving riding, but I don’t feel as confident as I used to. I know that realistically horse riding is a dangerous sport and there’s always a chance of accidents, but I suddenly feel like I’m a lot more aware of it now and it’s holding me back! A few years ago in my teens I used to jump my pony bareback over logs and didn’t feel an ounce of fear! I want to get back into enjoying it like I used to, but everytime I jump I remember how terrified I was in that ambulance, and the big dent in my helmet. I suppose it’s reiterated how dangerous and unpredictable a sport it can be. I still love jumping and it’s my absolute passion but confidence-wise I know I’m not the rider I was before the accident. It’s confusing because I still find jumping really fun and it makes me so happy, but also very nervous now at the same time

So after that big rant (woops!) I’m just asking if anyone else has ever got over a traumatic event like this? Is there a best way to get over it or does it just take time? Does anyone have any advice? TIA😁

As a fellow rider, I’ll say it’s a bit of both! You need to get back on, but you need to be gentle with yourself. The best advice is to find an excellent trainer who specialises in nervous riders who have had a bad fall. Be completely honest with this trainer and really have a go at following their advice. Ask your yard friends or horsey Facebook group for recommendations!

I don’t know anything about horses or riding, sorry OP💐

But what I do know about trauma, is that you shouldn’t bottle up your feelings. Please talk to people who will understand and people you trust. (As PP suggests, trainers, fellow riders, people who have experienced similar).

Everyone deals with trauma at their own pace. So please don’t be too hard on yourself or set your self any “time limits” or “goals” for when you want to be rid of these feelings.

If you feel like you need more professional help then please seek out talking therapies, or even hypnotherapy which can be beneficial for PTSD and anxieties. (They aren’t for everyone though).

@Marvellousmadness So nice of you to come on here and tell someone off for being scared.

OP, we all deal with trauma differently. I don't ride, but have had other traumas. I would recommend talking therapy, if you can get it.

Jealousy’s a disease, get well soon hun x

That’s really helpful thank you, I’ll have a look on Facebook for recommendations!

Thank you so much for the advice! I actually had wondered about some therapy- I’ll look and see if there’s anyone specific for sport accidents x

Thank you very much, I think you’re right and therapy could be a good idea x

That sounds really scary and the fact you've got back on and carried on jumping etc is really brilliant in itself.
A fall from a ex steeplechaser out on a hack knocked me for six a few years ago and I don't think I've ever really let that go from the back of my mind.
I was reading on the tack room about a posters daughter who had a bad fall and someone recommended a sports psychologist as they are trained in how to get past trauma related so that may be a good idea for you to try and like other posters have said a really decent instructor who deals with similar.
I think you're absolutely fierce to get back on and carry on , keep safe :)

One traumatic situation which is similar to your's is that I nearly drowned after getting pulled out in a rip at a beach, I managed to swim to safety thank goodness. I always loved the water (grew up by the beach) but that truly knocked my confidence in the ocean even as a confident swimmer. To get my confidence back in the water I started off small, went swimming in lakes or calm beaches so I could become comfortable in the water again before I ventured to beaches with bigger waves, now I feel totally confident in what is my happy place. I got counselling for it and it very much helped, although that day will always stay with me for life. Good luck!

There are quite a few rider mindset coaches who can help unpick your fear - friends who have used them report great changes and success. Feel free to dm me for some names!

A brief course of EMDR therapy should do it

Trauma is trauma regardless of whether you think it’s privileged or not.

Sometimes with something like this graded exposure is useful. Not just to the horse or riding but with the ambulance as well.

Cbt isn’t always helpful for trauma but emdr can really help. You would probably be better off going private if you can because waiting lists are long.

yes, trauma.
i’m not a rider, but op has clearly been through something.
if you’ve got nothing helpful then go elsewhere.
ill never have the money to ride, yet i’m not mean enough to leave nasty comments on a post like this

1. Did the OP say she was white.
2. Are white people forbidden from having trauma.

Anyway OP i had similar to you about 9 years ago. I was getting on the horse and he bucked. Threw me off and my ribs hit the saddle and broke and i landed on my back in time to see the horse kick me. Don't remember anything till i reached hospital. Sadly i have never been on a horse since.

What a horrible comment.
And are you implying only white people do horseriding?

What a horrible comment about someone who had a serious accident and could have potentially been killed.

I bet if the OP said she'd been injured after being in car accident and was nervous about driving again your response would have been different.

A friend of mine runs an equine school that deals with this kind of thing, I believe, she’s a qualified hypnotherapist and riding instructor. I don’t know whereabouts in the country you are, but she’s based in north wales. If that’s not feasible for you, then I’m sure there must be others around the country that might be able to help?

Thanks so much for the comments 😁 I’ll definitely look into some sort of therapy! I hadn’t appreciated how much the accident had affected me but I think mentally was possibly worse than physically. The paramedic said they go to a lot of horse riding accidents, often with life changing injuries and after hearing that I suppose for the first time I believed my mum when she has spent years telling me it’s a dangerous sport and I need to be careful!

Thank you so much! I really hope you’re doing ok after your fall too! It makes you realise how dangerous a sport it is!