For thinking this is an overreaction?

[FlissyPaps]

My DB (aged 25) met a girl a couple years younger than him online in January this year. They started seeing each other and became an official couple literally about 3/4 weeks later. Me & the rest of the family had only met her twice before they were official. She seemed really nice.

This week they’ve broken up. (Her decision really. So DB has been dumped) He’s heartbroken. I do feel so so bad for him, as I know heartbreak and rejection are the worst things to go through.

He hasn’t been to work and not managing to eat. Now, I am definitely concerned about him. I want to be there for him and give him some comforting advice, but I just feel like …”this is crazy, how can you be this upset over someone you’ve only known for 4 months. You’re 25, not a teenager”.

How can you possibly know and love a person after 4 months? (He’s said they both said I love you really early on).

Am I heartless?

I feel awful that he’s so upset and wish I could take the pain away. Obviously I would never tell him how I really feel. I’m going with the approach of “Thankfully she’s ended it now early on and not a year down the line. It’ll take time, but you’ll move on and get through this”.

wow, you sound like a heartless stone.

Doesn't matter how long they have know each other, he fell in love and is deeply effected by the breakup. Dont rush him to move on, allow him to explore the feelings he has and talk it through endlessly if thats what he needs

For context I met and was married to my partner within 5 weeks - we knew we were meant to be together. Celebrating our 30th anniversary later this year. Somethings you just know. He clearly felt it.

Dont rush him to move on, allow him to explore the feelings he has and talk it through endlessly if thats what he needs

I can accept I am heartless but don’t worry I’m absolutely not rushing anything. We’ve had two long conversations (mostly me listening) & have told him it’s absolutely fine to go through the emotions (denial, anger, confusion, sadness) for as long as it takes. I was just a bit shocked he was so heartbroken when they’ve only known each other so little time. I would genuinely never admit that to him, as he is a sensitive soul and wouldn’t want to make him feel any worse.

I was with a guy for 3 months and was utterly smitten. We’d both said ‘I love you’. He dumped me due to not wanting involvement with my DD (long story, yes he was a twat) and I was absolutely devastated and heartbroken. I was in my late 20’s! Didn’t stop me working or eating to be fair, but I was pretty down for a while. He needs support and understanding, it’s painful.

*edit - in my late 30’s!

You sound patronising and cold.

of course he will get over it and in the long run, this will just be a blip. But it never feels like that at the time, does it?! Logically you know the horrid clawing wrenching feeling will not last for ever, but since when was love very logical?

and you don’t get to be the arbitrator of how long you have to be with someone before you’re allowed to be gutted about them ending it. Or how old you can be before you can feel heartbroken.