Sometimes we must choose between what is right and what is easy.

[AtWhatCost]

And that is where I find myself.

Relevant background I am employed by a parent company but work in the subsidiaries. I can choose where I work and which smaller companies I deal with, parent company support me and renumeration is excellent, they would not question why I no longer wished to work for a smaller company.

Problem. I have recently started working at a company that the parent company has recently acquired. It is clear that the manager is a bully, a particularly horrible one. If you do not fit in with his ideals he doesn't just force his staff leave he makes it incredibly difficult for them to be employed by any local company by badmouthing them. I have proof of this.

I can walk away or I can bring this to the attention of the parent company. This will mean he knows that I have raised the issue and I have no doubt that he will try to jeopardise my working life and possibly my social life.

I feel I should do what is right, but the repercussions personally could be huge. Wwyd?

Yabu - look after yourself
Yanbu- someone needs to make a stand no matter what it costs you.

You say the repercussions could be huge. Could you be more specific?

raptor hard to quantify but someone that will dedicate themselves to making my life and by extension people I love lives difficult. For example I am aware that they target a former member of staff who went self employed, they contacted regulatory authority, contacted HMRC, posted not quite libellous information on line.

This is hard and horrible, but the right thing is the right thing.

Look after yourself though - talk it through with Protect charity first. They have a free hotline. Think about a conversation on a no names basis and make a record, so if you are treated badly as a result you can take it further.

To add I think they would do everything in their power to cause issue/remove me from parent company, whilst I have great support now it only takes a few management changes and I could be set adrift. I've never met someone like this before, only read about them in fiction.

Anonymous report?

I would imagine if this person is as bad as you say then you are not the only one who will have noticed

Savoretti you are correct and the more I have looked into this the worse it becomes. Everyone knows, no one does anything mainly because it has been spread over departments so no one has joined the dots. So everyone feels isolated and not confident to do anything.

No, I wouldn't compromise myself or my family to do that. I whistle-blew once and had to leave my job because of it. It wasn't worth it. Nothing changed anyway.

If everyone knows can you report anonymously? Or would the evidence you have identify you?

Do you have union support?

Barrow I'm really sorry, but unsurprised, to read that.

If, which is unlikely, I could report anonymously I think my identity would still be suspected.

Hunderland yes would have union support but not sure how much trust I would have in them

Your company should have a Whistleblowing policy. Read it and use the advice/process.

My husband whistleblew on a bully boss and the person left the business but my husband was also made redundant shortly afterwards - it was a difficult time for a while but he found a new job and he's so much happier now and I'm so proud of him.

We had the resources to survive him being unemployed for a while so the risk wasn't as big for us.

If you're in a comfortable position now, I'd raise it with your parent company management. Don't go in all guns blazing but "raise some concerns" and give a few examples. If the parent company investigate properly there's no reason for him knowing it was you?

I don't know if this will help but your post triggered a memory from years ago when I worked in an old people's home as a night care assistant. It was a weekend job and I worked with several other ladies. The owner was not a very nice man.. tight fisted.. charging a lot of money and feeding the old ladies cheap food. He was a nurse and he worked there so he knew his staff.
There was another care assistant who had a bad reputation. Some of the other girls knew her and we all got to know she was a drinker and did not look after her child properly and was lazy at work. She had a reputation for fighting in the pub.. that sort of thing
She was arrested one night for threatening someone with a knife.
The owner, knew about all of this but care assistants who work for stingy people like him come and go, and he was always short staffed so apparently he turned a bind eye.
One night I got to work and the girl I normally worked with on a Saturday night had 'phoned in sick and this person was standing in.
She had a 1litre lemonade bottle and she kept swigging from it. She smelled of alcohol.
She was lazy. I seemed to be doing most of the work.
There was a particular lady living there at this time. She had dementia and got up in the middle of the night, dressed and came downstairs. She regularly turned the taps on and left them running, and also played with her own faeces. It would be everywhere.. toilets were filthy and it would be all over her body and her face, the bed and door handles..
This woman found the lady - a tiny little woman coming down the stairs and shouted at her to go back to bed. She shouted right in her face, it did not register. When she did not respond she hit her. I was shocked, but having seen what she was like and after having heard other staff saying how awful she was to work with, I moved in and dealt with the resident.
Next day I called the owner and told him what had happened. i did not mention the drink as I was not sure but I told him what I had seen.
I did not involve other staff.
He called me to come in and see him.
He said he believed me but he wanted me to come in with the other woman and say what I had seen.
Knowing what she was capable of, and bearing in mind this was a part time job only and I had three babies to look after I had to decline.
I realise he needed a reason to sack her but I was afraid of the consequences and I had to decline.
OP You are not a hero. You are someone doing your job. It is not for anyone to tell you what to do. You have to do what is right for you because nobody will stand up for you, or thank you.

Get as much evidence as possible. Then do the right thing.

OP You are not a hero. You are someone doing your job. It is not for anyone to tell you what to do. You have to do what is right for you because nobody will stand up for you, or thank you.

I feel you are correct, it is just so against who I want to be. I have never come across such a person or such a situation. Your whole post was very similar to my situation. I wish I could be like Bries husband but I feel I have so much to lose. But saying that I know I condemn others to lose in the future, so I'm only doing what is easy not what is right.

My DH was in a similar position and did the right thing. You sound like someone with a decent conscience, so I am sure you will too. Good luck.

If you have evidence, that maybe makes it easier? Or get together with some others so that it's a joint complaint - strength in numbers and all that.

Can you go to your union in advance and get their advice and support beforehand?

Agree to read and follow the whistleblowing policy.

But, please be aware when you're some ordinary mner reading this on your sofa, the obvious is to tell the op to do the right thing.
But (as a couple of pps have noted) doing the RIGHT thing doesn't always get the RIGHT result. Oscar wilde said "the good ended happily and the bad unhappily. This is what fiction means"
This is your life. Do what you need to do.

If you're going to quote Dumbledore, why not follow him?

There is no such thing as anonymous whistle blowing. It always comes out. @AtWhatCost Like Barrow, I’ve also whistle blown and all that support you thought you had - well it’s quicker than usain bolt to back track and leave you in the crap. It changes nothing in the end but misery for the whistleblower. It’s not right - but such is life.
LOOK AFTER YOURSELF FIRST.
I will add, that the bully may come looking for you, once they run out of other targets. So protect yourself by keeping a log of what happens and how it happens, you never know it might just save you from his worst actions.

Just read your last post - it isn’t easy to stand by and watch some one while they destroy others. You don’t have any easy options. Just the option to try to protect yourself. Think of it this way, if you whistleblow and get targeted and loose everything - who have you protected? No one. Because the bully will do it again and again. But, stay and do nothing but watch and gather evidence and you might just be in a position to protect someone else’s future. Even if that is providing them with evidence that they did nothing wrong.

I blew the whistle on my line manager and got bullied out, in spite of the
no retaliatory action part of the whistleblowing policy.
As soon as HR said, do you want to whistleblow, I knew I'd be a goner.
I would never do it again, and would never advise anyone else to do it.
It's so wrong. You have my sympathy as you are in a bad position.
Can you just refuse to work with that subsidiary from now on?

I've not rtft....
But having just raised concerns over harassment and bullying against me in my team, I would say do something about it.
I'm moving teams, mainly because of this treatment towards me.
I had decided that although it was debilitating and I've completely lost all self confidence and value, I wouldn't say anything as I didn't have the mental energy to deal with it.
But yesterday I reached tipping point and raised it to my senior who was shocked.

My thoughts were, if this is how awful and low I feel -a confident late 30s woman, in a team for a long time. How would a brand new person into the team feel with the same behaviours toward them?

It's not necessarily for you but for others.

If that makes sense, sorry for the ramble.

Because I want to be like him, because I think he is right but I am terrified of the cost to me . What Alphabet says is true already I asked for support from someone that had said they would willingly help, but already they are backtracking. dizzy I do agree, but in this case people are aware yet no one does anything, the reality is giving my life up for others.