Artificial garden lawns - what a weird world

[Figmentofmyimagination]

Another installed on our street. I just don’t understand it. Why would anyone do this?

There is a petition to ban their sale for installation in residential dwellings if you want to sign it:

It’s only got 5,900 signatures so far, which seems a pretty low number, given how much of a no brainer this is, imo. Maybe that’s just me.

petition deleted by MNHQ as we don't allow them, we're afraid.

For me it is just the continued and relentless sanitation of life.

Lots of complaints that grass makes children muddy? Dear god, is that the level we are working at with our children. Not only do they hardly every go out for free unsupervised play anymore, but now they can't even get muddy in their garden. It is mollycoddling beyond belief. I've seen kids who flinch at a bit of mud on them, crying because they got a bit dirty - it's no surprise when parents are communicating that a bit of mud is an awful thing. Don't get stupid impractical cream / white furniture when you have small children - it is a rite of passage to jump in the mud when you are a child and essentially you are putting pristine furniture over the joy of childhood mud.

On top of all of that, it is good for their immune system to be out in the mud. Micro plastics in their systems on the other hand, not so good, carcinogenic in fact.

On top of that, they learn nothing about nature, and very very little about respecting nature and the vital eco-systems (don't like this bit of nature, so just obliterate it)

Fake grass epitomizes the lack of resilience we are nurturing in our culture - one where we cannot tolerate any of life's natural challenges. Small thing in the scheme of life but entirely gross in every way

This! And it looks absolutely awful.

And I judge. Yes indeed ... I judge those that have this shit in their gardens! ;)

My apologies, I think I read more into your original comment than was there.

It is closeted snobbery dressed in faux concern for ‘good taste’ or the environment that I was trying to comment on. Not open snobbery which, for all it’s faults, is at least honest!

It is the garden equivalent of artex ceilings.

Hahaha exactly in 15 years time there will be multiple posts on mnet about getting rid of that shit!

you still cannot grasp that no matter how small the area it forms part of a combined matrix and it also adds to the wider issue of bioaccumulation, fragmentation and CO2e emissions both through its production, use and life time.

And you don't seem to grasp that people are making decisions in the context of what is practical for them, what could even be achieved by growing grass, what they're physically able to maintain, what they want/need to use the space for.

Encouraging biodiversity isn't the only consideration people have with regards to their gardens, surely that much is obvious, even if we do all agree that biodiversity is important.

So people make their decisions in this much broader context. Have a read of the thread, there are lots of examples of people with physical limitations, people wanting children to have space they can play, people wanting to be able to use gardens without drowning in mud. All things that will be weighed up against the points you raise.

Just pick on ordinary people who may have a personal reason for not having a grass lawn (disability, advancing age, lack of money to pay for lawn services they can't carry out themselves etc).

Give me a break. The irony. Have you ever met a poor person? Because none of the HMOs or terraces or council housing I've seen have artificial grass, it's literally people who buy a house and strip the existing owners lawn out. That's the biggest reason. Stone paving is probably less effort to maintain with mobility issues, and you can put beautiful pots around the edge.

There are lots of things that could/should be banned before this IMO. But of course everyone is happy for things they don’t use to be banned 🤷🏼‍♀️

My list would be:

• ban plastic packaging for fruit/veg


• ban ‘double’ packaging of items (plastic bag inside a box inside another box etc)


• ban commercial buildings keeping lights on at night


• limit the number of kms every individual is allowed to fly per year, tax payable after that.


• limit the number of liters of petrol every individual can buy, tax payable after that.


• limit the number of non recycling bin bags that will be collected per household

If you have physical limitations then a lawn you have to hoover and mop and chemically treat makes little difference to once which needs mowing.

Kids play anywhere and on anything in my experience (sometimes the muddier the better), they don't need a carpeted lawn to play.

To be fair on the person who posted the definition - it’s a pretty good summary of what I was taught at university many (20+!) years ago.

The Joseph Rowntree Foundation has some excellent studies on attitudes to working class citizens and snobbery which are slightly more recent!

Not a great idea for the environment in terms of its manufacture and then for conservation of nature and wildlife habitat.
There are so many other horticultural options if you don't want to mow grass.
Humans ruining the world with plastic again!

Flipping heck - wish that was an April Fools joke 😢

Lockheart those things are for the individuals to decide. There are lots of posts on the thread outlining people's reasons. You may agree/disagree, you may think they are imperfect choices from an environmental point of view, but we all make imperfect choices from an environmental point of view.

Plenty of creepy crawlies live under patio slabs.

“Unless you are childless than a plastic garden is moot.” Pfffft. Not having children is such a red herring when discussing environmental issues. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see what would happen if everyone stopped reproducing.

Also doesn’t take much brain power to work out that single plastic gardens aren’t an issue to the extent that millions would be. Their rise in popularity is the issue at hand.

And they look shit.

Not true at all.

We have plastic lawn and it requires zero maintenance. Haven’t done a thing to it since it was laid 3 years ago.

Kids didn’t like playing on the ants nests that infested our previous mud patch aka “lawn”.

Cleaning the resulting mud off the kitchen floor was a pain, and if I had physical limitations it would have been a major problem.

By all means be anti plastic grass but please don’t deny that it has benefits especially for some people and in some gardens.

Funny how many posts here decry plastic lawns as environmentally damaging, but then finish up with “and they look shit” or “tacky as hell”.

I wonder what the real driver of their anti opinion is eco consciousness or taste snobbery?

@TheKeatingFive No one needs a pristine lawn, which is basically monoculture and has low biological value anyway. Its a lack of knowledge and education and a lot of the time they cant be arsed.

Waterlogged, boggy garden, either look into drainage, planting floral species and grasses that enjoy damp places, create a bog garden, enhance your garden to accommodate it. There are numerous options, but no its easier to plonk down an artificial lawn.

Children need some where to play, Since when did children require a pristine lawn to play? how about wildflower planting or let it go semi wild, seed for wild flower meadow and let it grow and cut it once or twice a year.

My kids get muddy, this does make me laugh. Well there are plenty of hard wearing grasses you can use, or modify how you have it set out.

We have disabilities, we cant maintain it. I used to mow my grandmothers lawn for 50p per week, plenty of people will do it for cheap pocket money, you don't need an expensive gardener. Research planting a low manancence garden, or allow it to go wild and admire the beauty.

PS. You still are ignoring my previous questions.

”Do you see garden rooms, kitchen extensions, houses with more bedrooms than occupants and double garages as ‘shit taste’?”

🤔

For me it is just the continued and relentless sanitation of life.
Really interesting point @hamstersarse… if we can’t bleach (or rather, zoflora) the shit out of something then it’s needs replacing for something we can, clearly.

I've never hoovered, mopped or chemically treated mine

”Do you see garden rooms, kitchen extensions, houses with more bedrooms than occupants and double garages as ‘shit taste’?”

The quote is from another poster

I wonder what the real driver of their anti opinion is Hmm eco consciousness or taste snobbery?

If a snob is someone who feels socially superior then it’s clearly going to be both. They’re intrinsically linked.

My friend has a neighbour who regularly washes her plastic lawn, because of the dogs. I witnessed it on one occasion. The smell. 🤢

She was using zoflora pet and hot water to clean it.

It's a lazy, ecologically damaging option, and never looks good.

So, so hideous and ecologically reckless. My house, my garden but OUR planet.

maybe make some flowerbeds with artificial flowers, they’ll Match the shitness. Zero taste and zero biodiversity

“You’re all being snobby” is trotted out repetitively on this site. It’s a crap response, usually used by people whose attitude to life is along the lines of “I’m alright Jack and I’ll do whatever I please”.