To feel this much annoyance

[Zaab213]

I’m constantly annoyed with ndn and am starting to feel worried about how much I let the hatred of them consume me. It’s just been building up over past 10 years. In the beginning I wasn’t too bothered by them.

We moved into a lovely little neighbourhood with elderly couples next to us on both sides and a year later one couple was replaced by a young family (them). We had no children so I just assumed all kids were equally annoying like theirs and paid no attention. Just small things like balls/toys/food/ being kicked over everyday multiple times and kids climbing on fence shouting to get them (balls/toys) back. Kids screaming from 6am/7am on weekends when we were trying to sleep after a busy week at work (both myself and DH had stressful jobs then).

We didn’t think much at the time just thought “please be quiet” but didn’t obviously say. Looking back why leave your young kids squabbling outside at that time knowing you waking up neighbours? I now have a family and wouldn’t just leave them in garden to scream away early hour of the day! Quite frankly I wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly whilst I left kids to play on their own at such a young age.

Also their building work has been on and off over the years, there always seems to be some project and throughout all my pregnancies I’ve had to deal with the noise, dust and workmen chatting away loudly with radio blasting in garden at all hours whilst I was trying to bond with my baby.

I just feel they are constantly in my face. I can hear them all the time it’s driving me crazy. I don’t want to look back and think I spoilt my precious time with my kids being annoyed at the latest thing ndn have done this week. I just want to not let them annoy me. It drives me crazy. Even little things like just now they slamming the back door and the noise and vibrations travel along (terraced home). I just feel suffocated. How can I change my mindset about them? I know they don’t try to annoy me on purpose and that’s just the way they are and I know living in such close proximity to others is bound to cause annoyance but I don’t want to feel annoyed anymore. I hear the other side too but for some reason their noise doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

You are a saint if you've put up with that lack of consideration for 10 years!

Move.

That would wind up most people, home is supposed to be your sanctuary. I’m guessing moving isn’t an option

Thank you for the responses everyone. It’s been horrible. I haven’t put up half of the annoying things they’ve done for fear of being identified. Amongst the other “small” annoyances has been their teenager son has completely over last 10 years damaged 2 different fences we put up (owned by us and they know). I’ve heard them over the years telling him to kick against our side as they don’t want to damage theirs.

I would never let my kids bash any fence as the noise it makes is horrendous. I feel no privacy in the garden. Their now teenage / preteen kids shout across to us for their calls and it frightens my kids. DH always tells me not to stir up trouble and just stay quiet to keep the peace.

mice stopped talking to them. I used to stop and say hello if we ran into each other at the front but now even the sight of them makes me so angry. Last week the eldest one was out till 11:30 kicking his ball! Imagine the constant thud and bang as you trying to sleep.

I wake up really angry every morning. I’m lying in bed writing this and I can hear the mum shuffling around the garden, they have breakfast every morning in the garden in good weather and I hear every conversation, every whine, loud phone conversations. It’s the lack of sleep for all these years that gets to me.

Oops apologies for the typos. Calls=balls, mice= I’ve. 11:30pm

The thing is if I ever had recognition from them about the behaviour it wouldn’t bother me, I find them really rude and entitled. The other ndn has in the past asked if they could use our driveway for a guest or delivery they giving that day and say we yes but then the other ones they just park whenever they think we will be gone for the day and never ask! It makes my blood boil when I return from work to see their car in my drive.

You are being walked all over by them. Letting them park in your drive has to stop.

Have you ever spoken to the parents about the issues? They either haven't noticed or don't care meanwhile you're stressed and angry. You either need to try and reach an accommodation with them or find a new place to live.

When we’ve tried to talk about the kids behaviour the mum just either laughs or says nothing and I kind of feel ignored. The father is a little more understanding and says he will talk to them. I suggested they buy a net for him to kick ball into but the mum says he likes kicking against the fence. Over the summer I got really angry as their son kicked the ball directly into my youngest daughters pram. The mother as usual when I went around had a neutral face and not even concern if my baby was okay. She just said she’ll speak to him.

they make me feel that everything they do us normal and I’m being unreasonable. DH first back me up ever so I feel I’m always alone in this.

Parking and constant noise from doors, building works, kids - fair enough, but did having some builders in really affect you bonding with your baby? I’d leave that bit out if you ever raise things, though you’ve probably left that a bit late. Just move.