To be dreading face to face parents evening Thursday

[IHateParentsEvenings]

Going to get flamed to a crisp, never mind.

I am dreading it … teaching all day and then three solid hours between 4 and 7 talking to parents, some will be lovely but there will be some really difficult ones, won’t be able to be cut off after five minutes, will enjoy making me justify every detention since September.

Then home exhausted and still got the next days planning to do …

sorry MN, I dread it.

I am a teacher at a top independent school and face to face is hard if you have multiple classes after a long day of lessons. I am lucky in that we now do online 5- 10 min schol cloud meetings. We did have a weird hybrid day recently with some parents face to face then during the week we fitted in online meetings. I feel your pain but it is part of the job! Just make sure that you have some positives and and some targets. It will be fine.
I take solace in the fact I can exact the same pain on my children's teachers !! I particularly love it when 1 term I to gcse the teacher predicts an A*!! Good luck with that as you have just taught a foundation topic and actually do not know what the hell you are talking about!!

For the record I have taught for nearly 22 years in everything from a failing comprehensive, a top grammar school and an I dependent school.
Keep smiling and don't take any abuse personally it is the response of a child or parent struggling and it is never a personal attack. I have been called everything in my career and have let it go over my head and gone home , had a glass of wine !

Oh have been there so many times, no chance for a loo break for 3 hours solid and stuck to the chair when leaving after full day if teaching then work at home. You will hopefully find the majority of parents who attend and completely supportive and the few who aren't I've found can be turned round with humble honesty and reiterating it is their child's interest you have at heart. The ones who would most likely be difficult generally do not even come. Not trying to be factual, just 27 years of experience. U got this and actually by the end of every one I've had I've always come away really positive, exhausted but on a high from the gratitude. Most parents really do just want to hear good things about their kids and help with any problems. X

I am a teacher and I am embarrassed to read, see and hear how disrespectful and insensitive some teachers are towards the parents. In all years of teaching, I never had bad parents meeting. In fact, it is always something I look forward to as it is a chance to learn more about the child in my class and support them better as a result.

Yes this! Tends to be a much deeper reason for attacks and letting it out on others. X

Mixed feelings -you have my sympathies but so do pupils on the receiving end of petty rules.

Don't envy you at all. It must be exhausting. Both my sons' schools have kept online parents/teacher meetings and tbh I prefer them. You do get cut off abruptly after 5 minutes or whatever the time limit but the teachers are short and to the point. The queuing and waiting around is really stressful both for the parents and the teachers. Good luck!!

Totally agree, amazing how you can learn from meeting the parents.

This works for teachers and parents. Schools should get the form tutor to collate information and give 5 mins per child per meeting. I hate parents evenings, such a waste of time and trying to get a slot is a nightmare. I am a teacher and parent of 3. Thankfully only one is still at school.

I don't envy you but I am torn on sympathy. Parents evening is once a year, and an expectation when you take the job. Its not unreasonable to expect to speak to a teacher who is teaching your child. Schools seem to think that communication is an optional extra these days and that parents should be grateful for any crumbs they deign to give. 'All my slots are booked' should not exist. I will say it is enlightening meeting a teacher at parents evening though not always in a good way.

🤐

I've always thought the 5 minute appointments are not great for anyone concerned. Maybe whole thing needs re-thinking. If teachers/parents communicate well with email, phone, Class Dojo etc then you may not need it. I always feel there is pressure to attend otherwise it looks like you don't care! Surely there can be a better format for both parents and teachers? Space it out through the year? Email parents a few lines before hand so you know how best to use the precious face to face time to resolve anything?

Parents evening is once a year

Nope.

YANBU.

2 years into all this, I’m not surprised teachers are just wrung out.

I’ve had calls this parents evening (i’m higher risk/CEV) and made a point of thanking my DD’s teachers for all they are doing.

Parents evening is once a year

No, it’s really not.

I've always thought the 5 minute appointments are not great for anyone concerned.

I'd say the vast majority of parents do not need more than 5 minutes. Most less. Talk about their attitude in lessons, homework, behaviour, strengths and weaknesses, any questions? Boom, done. Oh, there's still a minute left.

I work in a school and I have to be honest I cancelled my sons parents evening I couldn’t face going after work . I don’t see the point in them , I know I’m in the minority ( probably ) but I already know my son works hard and does his best and is never any trouble so it’s a no brainer for me . I don’t blame OP at all for dreading parents evening one bit

Hated it as a teacher and hate it now as a parent.

Some things about lockdown were DEFINTELY better. Give me a 5 min phone call instead of parent eves any day!!

As a parent I've never liked parents' evenings,. Long queues for some teachers/subjects, so sometimes it is impossible to get to see the teacher; overhearing parents bragging about their child (one set were taking a language teacher to task because their son had 'only' got straight As - this took nearly 10 minutes so was 'bed-blocking' too). The language in which an appraisal is given (at least in the public sector) requires interpretation, and we could never get to see all the teachers in the allocated time (this a criticism of other parents, not teachers). Online was far better: focussed, snappy, uninterrupted, and while short, better opportunity to ask what phrases like 'working towards' actually mean in context.

You need to do your planning days in advance! Don't try and do it on Parents Evening. I've enjoyed the online ones because the system cut out after five minutes into the next appointment. Have good notes with you...spend an hour writing them with any grades etc that are important, how well they are doing and what they need to improve on. You need to spend the last minute winding up and getting rid, not talking so plan for questions three minutes in. And be firm. End by saying if they have any questions, to email you. Very few do! Have a follow-up column on your notes sheet. Good luck!

Hate it. Even though our parents are lovely. It’s exhausting and repetitive. The online system that cuts off after 7 mins is an absolute dream! Yadnbu

And it’s not once a year.

Have a buzzer and when time is up, it’s up. No more words. Next parent. If there’s more to discuss they can make an appointment - most won’t.
Tell them that It should be a progress review and discussing detentions is a waste of time.

End by saying if they have any questions, to email you. Very few do!

haha since when do teachers actually give parents their email addresses?!

All jobs come with pressure and stresses. Not all jobs have 6 weeks holiday and great pension benefits. Teachers need to be accountable.

Can you give yourself an easier day today? So less direct teaching and put on a few documentaries?! Depends what you teach and age I guess! I teach RE/ethics secondary so there is always something interesting they can watch

This actually made me laugh because it’s so relatable! All my DCs ever do in RP is watch documentaries. It’s the laziest teaching ever. Sorry, but it’s actually become a joke in our house.

A 45-minute tv programme every one-hour lesson? I honestly don’t know how RP teachers get away with it.

If I had to work late one night I wouldn’t be able to pass on my responsibilities the next day.