To expect her to check in with me?

[InMyOwnWorld7]

I broke up with my partner late last year but we have managed to maintain a good relationship as I am pregnant and we want to be the best co parents. While we were in a relationship, I had a decent relationship with his mom and we would text each other and I was at her house often. However despite this, she has basically been radio silent throughout most of my pregnancy. She has briefly checked in with me maybe once or twice but the last time was months ago (very early this year) and I am now weeks away from giving birth. I even invited her to the baby shower and she hasn't responded.

I am not in any way expecting her to have bought anything like that, I just thought she would have at least checked in with me to see how things are going as despite the fact me and her son are no longer together, this is still her grandchild (first grandchild!).

AIBU to have expected a little more from her? Or are these pregnancy hormones just making me a little more emotional lol?!

I don’t think you are wrong to have wanted/expected more but she hasn’t been forth coming so you know where you stand with her.

Expected her to have bought me stuff or anything like that*

Do you think she feels conflicted and doesn’t want to appear to be taking sides?

She obviously isn't going to be an involved grandmother. Maybe she doesn't want to? Could you write to her - text/letter and tell her she'd be welcome to stay in touch and be an active grandparent to the new baby, if she'd like to.

Yanbu, that's awful behavior from her. Well at least now you have the measure of her. Remember that when the baby is born and she suddenly wants to push her way in.

Maybe she doesn't know if her contact would be welcome.

That's a shame, it's sad that she is letting things drift apart. I wonder if perhaps your ex has been saying things to her behind your back casting you in a poor light.

I think you probably want to reel your efforts to stay friends with her back a few notches for your own self-preservation. Maybe send her a card and say, you hope she will feel able to be an active grandparent even tho you and her son split up, and you would be happy to stay on touch directly but if she prefers to arrange contact via her son, that's fine too. And leave it with her to decide what to do next. Once she meets her grandchild she may be unable to resist being involved!

Also actually it isnt unreasonable to think she would be her grandchild a gift, but some people won't until baby arrives for superstitious reasons so don't over think that. Also some people hate baby showers (I do!). And idea if she falls in those camps?

Why does op need to go chasing after her? She ignored the baby shower invite, wasn't that op trying to keep the door open? I wouldn't send any card or text trying to win her over, she should be trying to maintain contact with you.

She's probably not contacting you because you are no longer in a relationship with her son, and she worries about accusations of overstepping. 'MILS' can't win. If you want her to be involved let her know. The babyshower thing might just have been awkward for her, I don't know. She could have responded though at least.

If she was concerned about over stepping then why ignore ops invite?

Yanbu .. however things do change now you are seperated.

You have held out the olive branch.. leave her to make the effort.

You can't make people be what they aren't.

Wait till baby is norm see how she is then.

She may be getting updates from her Ds.

Thanks for your replies everyone. It's nice to know I'm not crazy for feeling sad about this!

I won't make any more contact as I feel I've already put in more than enough effort from my side (I even bought her a birthday present last month!) Will always leave the door open though if she wants to be involved with her grandchild.