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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

That DP's parents don't buy me birthday presents?

33 replies

ThatsMyJam · 10/05/2022 15:46

I've been with DP for over 10 years and we have a child together. Over the years we've been together I've received Christmas presents from DP's parents but never a birthday present. For Christmas I'll receive something small like socks or chocolates and just a card for my birthday.

My DP's brother is currently in a relationship with another man who has just posted a thank you to my PILs for his birthday present. They have been together less than a year. I'm aware that DP's sisters ex partner also received at least one birthday present from them during their relationship.

AIBU to feel a bit upset by this? It's not about the actual lack of present but rather the meaning behind it.

OP posts:
AllThingsServeTheBeam · 10/05/2022 17:27

Hont1986 · 10/05/2022 16:17

I wouldn't expect a birthday present from another adult, short of my immediate family, and I wouldn't give one either. A card, sure.

Odd that they seem to have given them to others though.

I wouldn't expect one from anyone but I do class my DPs parents as our immediate family

Daisyblush · 10/05/2022 17:39

Doesn’t your DH say anything?

ittakes2 · 10/05/2022 17:41

I get you - it’s not the present it’s that they have bought for others.
do you get them birthday presents? If yes then I would stop. Let hubby sort if he wants to.

AndSoTonight · 10/05/2022 17:45

olympicsrock · 10/05/2022 17:24

It’s fine not to have blanket rules for things. Perhaps they saw a little something she would particularly like.

Perhaps she is lovely and doesn’t take things for granted . Honestly you are coming across as a little entitled here. You are an adult after all.

She?

Original poster
ThatsMyJam · 10/05/2022 17:46

DP is not happy but I've asked him not to say anything to them.

OP posts:
MrsAvocet · 10/05/2022 18:02

My initial reaction to the title of your thread was "Don't be ridiculous, who expects birthday presents from their ILs" but reading that they buy for their other children's partners I changed my mind. Assuming that they know when your birthday is (I doubt my ILs know mine) then yes, it is very rude of them to exclude you.

SunshineAndFizz · 10/05/2022 18:03

I'd be annoyed because the others are getting something.

I'd get DH to subtly ask MIL " would hate me to ask this, but I saw on Facebook you bought a birthday present and you never get one for , how come?

Kittycooo · 25/06/2022 09:36

I had this too

engaged to partner , been together six years , until this year I got both his parents a small gift on their birthdays and always a card.

they have never ever got me even a card. So this year I decided to stop doing it and stop trying to pretend to myself they are my new extended family. Cos they aren’t and they don’t like me enough to mark my bday

my dp has never raised it with them , which is also really annoying

i now just enjoy my relationship with my previous (absolutely lovely) mother in law !

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