Why are people so selfish ?

iwillnotstaycalm · 2022-05-10T13:32:29+00:00

I work in healthcare, mostly the corporate side of things. I honestly cannot fathom some of the situations customers put upon us as employees. I very much understand most would be disappointed when paying for a service but when Dr's and nurses go down with sickness (unfortunately a lot of it is still covid) and we have trouble finding appropriate cover the threats and uproar we get is absolutely shocking. AIBU to think that it isn't ok that we should be treated like crap because we were unable to give them what they wanted ?

SlickShady · 10/05/2022 15:57

YANBU but selfishness isn't the word I would use. You often get people at a very low point, getting their hopes of a positive outcome dashed, and they vent or express themselves in unhgealthy ways.

This doesn't condone them, but it does give some understanding and insight. Very possible these people would be thoughtful and selfless in other circumstances.

Danikm151 · 10/05/2022 16:04

It's not selfish. It's a transaction gone wrong. They're expecting a certain level of service and it's not being provided.
It's ok for them to be frustrated but not ok to treat people like crap.
Most of the time the anger is at the situation, not the person.

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/05/2022 16:09

When I worked in social housing, I often found it helpful to put myself in the shoes of the tenants who were rude or abusive to make it feel less personal. There’s no excuse for it, but there are often reasons, and the anger is directed at the situation, not the person providing the service. Like the people you deal with who are trying to access healthcare, our tenants had often had a benefit claim rejected or a repair not attended to or been the victim of ASB. They were often frightened, stressed and disempowered: reliant on other people supporting them to access key services or get their problems solved. Combine all of those things, and you aren’t meeting people at their best.

People who have a medical problem or who have recently received or are waiting for a diagnosis are going to be understandably stressed and scared, possibly in pain, and may well have been counting down the days until they can see a doctor, receive some assurance, get some relief; and then they have that prospect of an end dashed, and often don’t realise that it isn’t as simple in the NHS of just getting additional staff to cover.

Original poster

iwillnotstaycalm · 10/05/2022 16:42

ComtesseDeSpair · 10/05/2022 16:09

When I worked in social housing, I often found it helpful to put myself in the shoes of the tenants who were rude or abusive to make it feel less personal. There’s no excuse for it, but there are often reasons, and the anger is directed at the situation, not the person providing the service. Like the people you deal with who are trying to access healthcare, our tenants had often had a benefit claim rejected or a repair not attended to or been the victim of ASB. They were often frightened, stressed and disempowered: reliant on other people supporting them to access key services or get their problems solved. Combine all of those things, and you aren’t meeting people at their best.

People who have a medical problem or who have recently received or are waiting for a diagnosis are going to be understandably stressed and scared, possibly in pain, and may well have been counting down the days until they can see a doctor, receive some assurance, get some relief; and then they have that prospect of an end dashed, and often don’t realise that it isn’t as simple in the NHS of just getting additional staff to cover.

Yes, you are very right, thankyou for your perspective, and I do have empathy to a degree. I think I'm just feeling very burnt out from the general public as they likely are too!

OP posts:

ChiselandBits · 10/05/2022 17:09

I agree, its not selfishness. Its perfectly normal to prioritise your own issues and needs over others in general and if you are talking about someone who has maybe had a very long wait for an appointment or treatment who then gets let down at the last minute, I think you'd have to be a pretty stoical person to not show your irritation or fear or whatever. Its not that they don't give a crap about the ill indivdual, they just want their issue sorted.

User135644 · 10/05/2022 17:11

They're expecting a certain level of service and it's not being provided.

Good manners cost nothing. I can understand some people losing their cool when it comes to their health now and again (wouldn't condone it but can understand it).

It's like people who speak to waitresses or service staff like crap though, they're just awful people.