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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To utterly detest gardening?

32 replies

Windflower92 · 10/05/2022 08:26

I love the concept of it, and I want a beautiful garden, but I don't want to do any work towards it! We will probably be getting a gardener in about 2 years when the youngest is out of nursery, but for now it's up to us. We moved into a nice sized garden that was just grass and weeds, so we're trying to make it nice but low maintenance, and my god the weeds!

I bought a load of seeds and plants for hanging baskets and they've all been eaten by slugs and birds. Random bits of rubbish keep getting blown in from who knows where. And those damn weeds!

Is there some sort of TOMM app for gardens? I just need someone to tell me what to do and when to keep on top of it. I don't want to spend every weekend in the summer gardening!

OP posts:
Original poster
Windflower92 · 10/05/2022 08:27

I should say, DH absolutely does help, but he does all the heavy lifting, chopping, building and mowing. So little jobs are mine.

OP posts:
OneRingToRuleThemAll · 10/05/2022 08:29

YANBU. It's why I live in a flat with no garden at all. I love going to a park or green space but have no plans to get my own.

My parents had a concrete yard and that would do me at a push.

Timeforabiscuit · 10/05/2022 08:33

I got a copy of the 5 minute garden by laetitia Maklouf which in essence says go out in your garden every day and do a small job (she breaks it down far better!).

It breaks jobs down by month and day of the week, and it's helped me make a start on getting things sorted.
If you have kids, it's worth bearing in mind that beautifully maintained flowering borders do not mix well with children throwing balls, so it might be considering low maintenance shrubs and keeping the lawn weed free might be all you do to keep the space useable, personally I like weeds in lawns so I might not be the best to listen too!

mumda · 10/05/2022 08:41

Moe the lawn when the person with the nicest lawn on your street mows theirs. Or leave it for no mow May.
Have pots or hanging baskets. They're more slug proof. Nasturtium is an easy one.

BrioNotBiro · 10/05/2022 08:42

YANBU. At least when you do indoor housework, it stays done for a while. You can spend the whole weekend hacking away at the garden and taking stuff to the green tip, and a couple of weeks later it doesn't look any different. What a waste of time and effort.

LockdownGardener · 10/05/2022 08:45

Agree, when there was sweet fa to do in 2020 I started gardening, now life has returned I feel much the same. I do like buying plants and putting them in pots but anything else is frankly boring and repetitive.

I've gone for shrubs in the garden as that limits the slug eating, I've embraced pretty weeds that live amongst the shrubs and then just a few pots and hangers for flowers. It means it is manageable, but gosh I'd love a gardener.

MrsMoastyToasty · 10/05/2022 08:50

We are in the process of putting the whole lot down to grass. I can't afford the time or the money to invest in it otherwise. In my defence I have really bad hay-fever. Next door is like Kew Gardens.

TroysMammy · 10/05/2022 08:52

My large corner garden was all grass and I hated mowing it and wished I lived in a flat. I still have grass/moss on the front part but the side and back now has a greenhouse, a shed, raised vegetable beds with stones in between the beds and a herb garden. It's hard work until all the plants are in but I love it. I haven't hoovered or dusted in the house since March as I've always got something better to do outside.

45redballoons · 10/05/2022 08:52

You're in luck! Having weeds is now in for biodiversity. Where are your weeds? If they're in a border, I'd leave them to it. If it's in paving then you do need to keep on top of it, but as someone else said, small amounts often should do the job.

CatChant · 10/05/2022 08:54

Try Monty Don’s The Weekend Gardener.

It breaks everything down into manageable, seasonal tasks that take a couple of hours a weekend and assumes no prior knowledge.

It is also infectiously enthusiastic.

I learnt how to garden from it, and I love gardening now and have done for many years.

senua · 10/05/2022 08:56

BrioNotBiro · 10/05/2022 08:42

YANBU. At least when you do indoor housework, it stays done for a while. You can spend the whole weekend hacking away at the garden and taking stuff to the green tip, and a couple of weeks later it doesn't look any different. What a waste of time and effort.

It's a funny old world. I see it totally the opposite to you: I think indoor housework is a waste because it needs re-doing within days (if not hours!), not weeks. Gardening is like raising children except that you see the results quicker.

purpleme12 · 10/05/2022 08:57

Me too! My one extravagance is my gardener although I only get him to mow the lawn/tidy up weeds etc but I hate doing it

dottiedodah · 10/05/2022 09:03

Our garden is lawn hedges patio. Just mow lawn ,few pots bought from garden centre already made up.looks fine .we have a dog so prefer to be out an about with her. Just maintenance like this will be fine .unless competing in Chelsea flower show!

Tumbleweed101 · 10/05/2022 09:03

I find gardening more satisfying than housework but I like nature, the more I've done in the garden the more wildlife is coming in so I find a degree of purpose in it. However it is only in the last few years I've enjoyed it so much and I think that's because my children are older now so I'm not so busy with family. Everything is repetitive- house and garden jobs 😞 .

SleeplessInEngland · 10/05/2022 09:03

I'm not into gardening but I think the acceptance that everything you do is fleeting is a necessity. I guess most gardeners would say that's part of its charm: appreciate it while you can.

kittensinthekitchen · 10/05/2022 09:05

If your children are young, I'd focus on low maintenance for the time being. Focus on making the garden safe and functional.

Get on top of those weeds. Where are they? If they are in beds/borders, give them a good clear out, then cover with a heavy duty weed membrane and something like stones, bark or slate.
Weeds on patios and slabs can be killed using boiling water or salt, but be careful as it will kill any grass or plants it also comes into contact with.

Keep on top of mowing the lawn. Make sure fences and boundaries are in good order. Power washing any patio or paths can do massive wonders for the look of a garden.

Once you are on top of general maintenance, start introducing plants and flowers in baskets, pots and planters. These are much easier to keep weed-free. If you want something that will come back each year, you're looking at perennials, but it's always nice to have some annual bursts of colour that you just scrap after their season too. Most seed and bulb packs will tell you exactly when they need to be planted, and where to position them - much easier in pots to move around chasing the sun.

If you want a more established planted garden, you can task your gardener with doing that in a couple of years time.

KnitPurlKnitPurl · 10/05/2022 09:07

YANBU. I loathe and detest gardening. It's mundane and tedious. I know some people find it therapeutic and enjoy it, but it's really not for me. I can think of 10001 I'd rather be doing.

Squillerman · 10/05/2022 09:09

YANBU, I’ve also never enjoyed it and see it as probably my least favourite chore. It only looks nice for a week during spring/summer before it’s like a forest again and I can’t be bothered doing it weekly.

We can’t afford a regular gardener so just have to deal with it. I think I’ll live in a city apartment when DC grow up so there’s no garden to deal with. Love house plants because they’re low maintenance, it’s the weeding and edges I can’t abide in the garden.

AlisonDonut · 10/05/2022 09:15

Problem is most people don't actually know how best to weed. And they assume everything not growing where it should be is a weed when it might well be poppies or cornflowers or a gazillion other annuals that are actually lovely.

For me, the only weeds I dig out are bindweed and couchgrass. Pretty much everything else I hoe off as they appear. With weeds that grow in grass and grow in a rosette [killing off the grass] I use a fiskars weed puller, and do it in the winter so that the holes are filled up in the spring rains. No bending needed.

If you have soil showing, and don't fill it yourself, then nature will. So the best thing you can do to keep weed growth down, once the perennials are out, is to mulch. Woodchip, bark, mowings from the lawn - cover it and it will reduce phemonenally the weeds that you get. Tuck it right up to the stems of the other things in that bed. If weeds are really bad, put cardboard or newspaper down under the mulch first.

Then when you go out, you will only have to do a light touch weeding and it will save you hours.

Bramshott · 10/05/2022 09:16

Gardener's World on a Friday night has a "jobs to do this weekend" section

Londongent · 10/05/2022 09:26

The problem I find with gardening is if you leave it then you have to put in so much effort with back breaking work, and at the end of it the garden just looks like it should do.
I think the secret is to do little bits often, but you have to really enjoy it. Hence why I have a low maintenance garden, so when it's sunny I can just go outside and enjoy the garden rather than gardening

Kokapetl · 10/05/2022 09:51

My approach is to grow a mix of easy maintenance but pretty shrubs, I have:
Fuschia
Weigela
Rosemary
lavender
Camelia
Buddleia (only if you have a big space)

But there are lots of others that would do the same job.

Then I have a mix of bee-friendly flowers that grow like weeds anyway in that they self seed and don't get eaten by slugs as much as some things. This means they can compete with the less attractive weeds:
Borage (edible so good for toddlers)
Calendula (edible so good for toddlers)
Forget-me-nots
California poppies
Foxgloves (poisonous so not good for toddlers but mine are a bit older now and know not to go near!)
snapdragons
love-in-a-mist
toadflax (pink and purple)

I also grow raspberries which is fun for the kids.

I only pull out a few of the nastier weeds (brambles, nettles and goosegrass) and don't aim for bare soil anywhere but the vegetable patch.

The whole thing has a kind of cottage garden feel which suits our house and location.

LittlePearl · 10/05/2022 09:57

Robot mower.

It transformed my life

PurpleVivo · 10/05/2022 10:07

Mow the lawn every couple of weeks. Invest in a cheap electric strimmer for the edge and then perennials for the beds that need minimal upkeep. Geraniums are fab for this. Clematis to grow up things (plant with stones in the bottom is my mums top tip they like cool roots apparently). Plants bulbs in the autumn for spring and they will keep on coming back. All my family are gardeners so I have had loads of advice though. Also we had a mature garden when we moved in so I have just altered to it over the years. Roses are easy enough too. Pots are ok but a pain in the arse in some ways cos you have redo them every year. Herbs are great as they normally spread just watch out for the demon mint 😂. Little and often is the best way to tackle it with a good day at it every so often. Which way does the garden face? If it’s dark and damp slugs will get everything so get plants that they don’t eat (they love Hostas unfortunately 😞). If you go to your local garden centre they will give you great advice too 👍

MissChanandlerBong80 · 10/05/2022 10:19

I enjoy gardening, I think if I were retired I’d do loads of it - but I feel you have to know so much to be good at it and have a really beautiful garden. And I just don’t have the time to acquire that knowledge and put it into practice.

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