To consider private schools due to the longer school day?

[Workingawayfromhomenow]

It isn’t the only consideration by a long shot but it is a consideration, as we would struggle otherwise. I realise people do manage of course but interested in knowing if this was a factor for anyone else when choosing a school.

I have had an awful experience with my DD private school. It’s very small and she’s in her final year. Was permanently excluded (won’t go into detail but for mental health issues). Their terms and conditions are unfair, they aren’t legally bound by Norma school rules/procedures and are free to make their own rules. For example any disciplinary in this private school was at the discretion of the head. She wasn’t required to investigate claims. If your child is excluded they don’t have any obligation to help you find another school or give school work to your child in the interim. As you can imagine this happening in the January your child is in their last year is horrendous. I know this is probably a very niche post but don’t fall into the pitfalls of private school!

Well if you'd put all that in your OP, I would have said I understand why you're leaning towards the private school. It's not just wraparound care, it's location too. And you don't like the state options. Although I do wonder where people get their opinions from because when I researched primary schools, there were a lot of out-of-date opinions based on past reputation and very old ofsted reports... things do change, especially if head teachers change.

Anyway, it's not just about the wraparound care, so it does seem strange to make the thread just about that.

The reason that posters are responding to you as they are isn't because they hate private schools, it's because your phrasing is misleading. You're not considering private school 'due' to the longer day, you're considering private school and the longer day is one among a range of advantages that you think it offers.

@Hardbackwriter Normally, you’re fabulous, but on this occasion I’m going to disagree. I’m not on trial at the stand here.

The longer school day means I can drop off and pick up and not worry about childcare at either side. It really is as simple as that. It isn’t the only factor but it is a pretty important one.

And I don’t think posters ‘hate’ private schools but every so often you do get bristly sort of attitudes that it’s a ‘waste of money’ and stories of state educated children who have gone on to do fabulous things which is brilliant for them but not really what I am posting for!

My DD goes to school 8am to 5.15pm most days and loves it. Her school day ends at 4.15 and then she has after school activities. It isn’t shit for all children having long school days.

And you know - I don’t normally do this but what the hell. I’m actually dealing with a miscarriage at the moment and am trying to take my mind off it by thinking about what’s best for the child I do have. So beg my pardon for not giving my full biography in the OP

And yes, that’s unfair of me as no one could have known that but some of this snippy, sarky, acerbic responses are really not what I needed (and no, being on AIBU is not a good enough reason for it.)

Sorry about your miscarriage OP
AIBU is really not the place to be right now!

Thanks @NameChange30 but no sorry - I don’t see being on AIBU as a reason / excuse / call it what you will to be really rude in response to a simple and polite question. I don’t mean you, by the way, but there have been some really sarky and ‘cutting’ responses and there has been absolutely no need.

The private school my daughter attended offered ‘daily boarding’ as well as full boarding. This involved dropping off before 8.00 am, then staying on after school for tea, then prep followed by music/clubs/sport, etc. Then supper and pick up by 7.00 pm.

My school day used to be 9am-5pm at private school.

Your thread did read funny from the off, if you are upset then I agree AIBU really isn't the place to be.

Post again in education some time.

But you will get views on private schools, because people have opinions on private schools. They are very divisive, that is just how it is, and in some ways that is worth thinking about as I think you have to be OK with that in order to send your child there.

I agree. It's not an excuse. But the unfortunate fact is that you always get a handful of complete and utter arseholes on AIBU. I try to avoid it but sometimes get sucked in (obviously )

Hope you are getting some real life TLC.

Actually I do see your point. I teach in a private school and it is one of the considerations for parents - among others. In one of the local state primaries, they have very few kids staying for WAC and it's run by the TAs who let them choose what they want to do, including ipads. By contrast, the local private school puts on heaps of activities and most kids stay. It's not just about the cost and existence of WAC, but the quality of it - 2 or 3 hours a day is a lot of time per week and I want to know what my kids will be upto in that time!

@carefullycourageous you said on page 2 that you were going to leave the thread before I came and ‘got you’ or something similarly ridiculous, that might be best. Despite the sniping a lot of responses have been really helpful and I’d like to stay on topic. Or in other words, if you’re at liberty to tell me that AIBU isn’t for me, I can do likewise and ask that maybe you don’t keep posting. I have heard your view: it is a waste of money and there are an abundance of childminders. Thanks.

Thanks @surreygirl1987 , I did read a pretty horrible story at the weekend about an after school club, though would like to think this isn’t typical.

It is this type of chippiness that I was referring to and why maybe it isn't everyone else that is at fault here.

You are obviously having a bad time, but you have made your own thread go badly with your tone.

Yes, we’ve established you think I’m chippy. Can we get back to the thread, please?

Yup, keeping DC at private preschool through year 1 because we’re guaranteed full day with high quality wraparound + holiday care we can opt into if we need it. Local primary might provide this if we get a place but likely we’d need to sort it ourselves and where we live this would mean a nanny and part time nannies are INSANELY expensive and virtually impossible to find.

I don’t think the nanny route is as easy as it’s often made to sound on here - plus it’s still ultimately being reliant on one person, who may fall ill or choose to leave or be unable to get to work for whatever reason.

For the most part we wouldn’t need a nanny in any case. To be honest, the main downside is working FT! I’ve grown to like a day off …

I don’t know why you’ve had a hard time. We’re at a state school with wrap-around but it was looking shakey post covid. If it had gone, it would have been the thing that tipped us into private. With no wrap-around we’d have needed a nanny and would likely need to pay for full day rather than after school given how hard it is to find an after-school nanny. That would have meant taking our youngest out of nursery which I really didn’t want to do.

I have a friend whose school offers ‘wrap around’. Her daughter is in year 2 and still on the waiting list she joined before starting school. Provision is not always what is claimed.

I can easily see how wrap-around could be the deciding factor between schools and sectors.

Just send your kid to private school. I don't know why you're agonising over it.

Sorry about your miscarriage OP.

Just wanted to post and say I agree with you about the nasty posts. I’ve been reporting them and get the MN inconsistent reply “it’s an opinion”, when they clearly have a unwritten “spirit” some posts are not in. I was a lurker for years before creating this account on mat leave, and I have noticed that there are more posts that are just unnecessarily nasty, over innocuous things too.

With respect to your post, I think your child will have a lovely time whichever choice as you clearly take a lot of consideration into their wellbeing. If you go to the further school, driving to and from the school could be good quality chat time between you two. What if you moved jobs, would the private school location then be an inconvenience? Could you afford to send multiple children? I haven’t met anyone who sends to private school because of the long day as the main factor myself, for your canvassing.

Hope you recover well.

Thanks, @Bunnycat101 - it is a bit of a relief when others post similar problems and dilemmas! As you say, having the provision for wraparound care doesn’t mean that you can get it!

@BakeOffRewatch I’ve noticed it too. I think years ago you sometimes got posts with a caustic twinge to them that were often funny too, and I think some posters try to emulate this but in fact just end up being unpleasant for the sake of it.

Changing jobs is a consideration. I don’t want to be bound to my current workplace because of my child’s school. On the other hand, there is a bus service so worst case scenario he could continue to attend that school. However, the pickups and drop offs do matter to me as well!