Where, or even when, to move?

[sorela]

Slightly odd situation, I'll try and explain briefly as best I can.

I own a house, no mortgage. Owned with my DC's dad. DC now over 18. When I sell the house I will need to give him something, possibly as much as half, hopefully less (as he's paid nothing towards it in many years). That's obviously the first issue.

House value is uncertain, maybe £650-700k. I'm hoping best case I might come away with £450k. I have £100k in savings. However I also have a tiny pension and am nearly 50.

DC still lives at home, unlikely to want to move area. However I hate it here (neighbours from hell moved in 6 years ago and show no sign of moving). I am mostly remote working though have to go into the office 4-5 times a month. Office is near Croydon, I am in SE London. We have other branch offices in the Midlands and Manchester that I could work from.

And I don't know what to do. Part of me thinks stick it out for a few more years; in maybe 5 years DC might want to leave home then? However with flat prices round here at £1k a month to rent (even a room in a shared house is £600+) and £300k to buy, this might be difficult. I don't want to sell and leave DC homeless. But I don't enjoy living here .

Ideally I'd like a 3-4 bed detached with a large garden (half an acre ideally) to put some distance between me and neighbours. Even if I go further out into Kent/ Surrey/ Sussex I'd need to triple that budget so it's a non starter, and more local to me I couldn't afford a house even the size of the one I have now. Also part of me is reluctant to start another big mortgage at my age.

Maybe I'll just keep hoping to meet a rich man, or win the lottery! What would you do if you were me?

How old is your DC, and what are they doing re work/education ?

DC is 20, was doing further studies but struggled with this (workload and MH issues) so dropped out and is currently not working or studying. Hopefully will start job hunting soon.

Come to the East Midlands, Derbyshire, Leicestershire. You can commute to your pfficf when needed and with your budget, buy an ideal home and still have some savings left.

Your DC is 20, time to step out into the world with your support from the sidelines (or the East Midlands!). You are 50, time to start living for you.

Commute to your office**

I would sell up and move then in all honesty.

Your DC may need to understand that as an adult that does not contribute he may have to move to facilitate you moving or it is bad for your MH.

I do get your concerns and my guess would be that because your DC has mental health issues you don't want to cause anything that may make this worse. I also have a son with MH issues and I get that worry BUT he will never be able to move out whilst you live there.

Why don't you look at other areas together, ask him to keep an open mind for you because even if you don't do it now you will at some point and want an idea of area, show him how much you want this. He may surprise you. A friend of mine moved 6 months ago 150 miles away from home town and elderly dad as she and her adult daughter were suffering and she felt her DD would end her life if she didn't do something to change the situation. There are loads of areas that could offer both of you the life you want and need but you'll never know unless you go and look.

Could your son move with you?

Normally I would say he just needs to get a job and a room in a shared flat, like young people normally do, but I can see you wouldn't want to push him too much if he's struggling.

DC seems bordering agoraphobic, rarely leaves the house although part of that is having no reason to leave (will come with me if I say let's go out for dinner etc). Part of me worries that a move will increase the isolation, but then it might help it, I don't know. It's a worry. It's why I probably wouldn't want to live anywhere too rural.