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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Hybrid working

32 replies

user1469095927 · 09/05/2022 13:55

Hello, this may be slightly long so as not to drip feed. Prior to Covid, I worked 4 days a week (Monday off), husband worked 5 days a week. Over Covid lockdown we both worked from home and were lucky enough to continue with hybrid working when restrictions eased. I have worked 3 days in the office and 1 day at home, whilst husband, until recently was able to work 1 day at home and 4 in the office. He now has the opportunity of a new job with more opportunity for working from home which is great as it means we can share school drop off/pick ups, be at home easier if any of the kids are ill etc. It also means a reduction in petrol costs which is great.

Any to my AIBU, when I asked husband what his preferred days for WFH would be, he said he would like to work one of the days at home on the Monday which is my only day off. Our youngest goes to school this year so for the first time in 14 years I would have a day off to myself which I was really looking forward to. I have always been at work or had one, both or all all 3 kids with me and this was the first time I was looking forward to having some time for myself. I am not expecting to do anything radical - probably housework, catching up with friends over coffee, without any children (should add my youngest has always come with me when I have met friends for coffee/lunch and has been well behaved but always restricted on time given their age), make hair appointment without any issues and basically do what I want without having to consider anybody else.

So AIBU to expect husband to NOT WFH on my only day off?

OP posts:

Original poster

user1469095927 · 09/05/2022 17:13

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 09/05/2022 14:43

Surely it would be a massive red flag in their marriage anyways if he thought the fact she was home meant she would be cooking for and waiting on him?

Show quote history

It's totally not that at all - either one of us would make lunch and he more than capable of making his own lunch/dinner.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1469095927 · 09/05/2022 17:14

Botoxbotox · 09/05/2022 14:03

I don't really understand why the problem is, will he be chasing you round for sex and wanting you to cook his lunch?

Ha ha OP - that made me chuckle and I now cannot get the "Benny Hill" theme tune out of my head ! :-)

OP posts:

Original poster

user1469095927 · 09/05/2022 17:19

NoAprilFool · 09/05/2022 14:47

I understand.
I don’t work on a Friday. Pre Covid I had the house to myself that day.
DH is still WFH 5 days a week (through choice, he could go in) I go into the office 3 days and WFH 1 day, so he has peace for 3 days every week. I hate him being there on a Friday but it’s hard to say why!!
I get you though.

You have hit the nail on the head exactly. There is no reason particularly other than he would be there and I cannot explain it properly other than that!😀

OP posts:

Original poster

user1469095927 · 09/05/2022 17:20

Goldfishmountainclimber · 09/05/2022 14:09

Is it just that you fancied having the house to yourself, op?

That's it :-)

OP posts:

Original poster

user1469095927 · 09/05/2022 17:22

Lou98 · 09/05/2022 14:15

I agree with the others, I don't see how him wfh would stop you having time to yourself as surely he'll be working anyway?

I thought you were going to say you had a toddler still at home to entertain while he's working and with the noise etc it wouldn't be the best idea but I'm struggling to understand how it would affect you.

I can see he'd maybe want to talk to you during lunch breaks etc but if you already have something planned then just carry on with that

It doesn't impact me meeting others/appointments etc. He wouldnt stop me doing that and never has done. It's more having somebody else to consider in the house when after 14 years it would have been nice to not have to do that.

OP posts:

Sharrowgirl · 09/05/2022 17:29

What’s his WFH set up? Is he shut away in a study or is he in the living area?

I get it though. You just want the house to yourself. Hard to say that to him though, especially as I presume he never gets it to himself either.

FinallyHere · 09/05/2022 17:39

So AIBU to expect husband to NOT WFH on my only day off?

I'm not sure about this. What difference do you expect it to make, having DH at home on your day at home ?

It's not like having a toddler in toe, is it? Just get on with your day, whatever you have planned or just chillin', as if he wasn't there. He will be WFH so won't have that much time to spend with you anyway.

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