Back in November, I found out I was pregnant with my partner of 2 years. This came as a shock to both of us but I was happy as I have always wanted to be a mom. I also thought my partner would be happy as we had talked about having kids before and it seemed like something we were both excited for in the future. However, my partner reacted really badly to this news and accused me of "trapping him" and that I had gotten pregnant on purpose. He accused me of deceiving him and being dishonest. He had this view because we had slept together unprotected as I had (naively) told him it was fine as I was not ovulating around that time (so I thought). I already know that this was irresponsible of me but I would never purposely get pregnant to try and "trap" someone. I was just as shocked as him when I found out.
Following this, he did not speak to me/see me for days and gave me no emotional support. Eventually he contacted me while I was at work and told me that I needed "to get rid of it (the baby)" and if I wanted our "relationship to survive" then I must go ahead with an abortion. I felt backed into a corner and loved him so much that I didn't want to lose him, so in my emotional state I initially agreed. After reflecting on this for a few days, I realised that it was something I couldn't go through with and would never forgive myself for choosing a man over my baby. I communicated this with him and was then labelled as "toxic" and accused of messing him around. He said he could not believe that I had gone against him. We then had no contact for 2 months.
Fast forward to January of this year, he makes contact and comes to the 12 week scan. He apologises for previous behaviour and says the things he said to me were "evil". He tells me he wants to be a part of our baby's life and will be there for me. He promises to cook for me, book massages for me...basically said he would give me anything I want! I was happy that my baby would have a father in her life.
I am now 31 weeks pregnant. He has not fulfilled any of those promises and also hasn't even bought anything for our baby. My family and I have bought everything for her. He even asked me to pay him almost £300 to get food for the baby shower. He claims this is because he has "no money" yet he's out with his friends every week. I have confronted him about this and he shouted at me and said he can't believe how "disrespectful" I am.
AIBU to have expected him to contribute more for his child despite the fact that it's not what he initially wanted?
(Sorry for the long post!)