To have had no idea how tough and LONG the first trimester is

[AliceAbsolum]

Been trying for 6 years. Always thought getting pregnant was the hard part. Good God was I wrong. This is basically a 2 month wait after the 2 week wait!
I feel like I'm in this anxious limbo, my life might change completely and my dream might finally come true. Or it might not.
Can't plan anything. Can't stop thinking about it, but know there is literally nothing to do for another month until 12 weeks.
Also this magical 12 week day... It's a bit arbitrary isn't it. Like the day before you can't count your chickens but the day after you start to believe it might happen.

Ah I'm just tired and hormonal and stressed.

First trimester is hard, I gladly welcomed my second trimester.
Have you had an early scan?

Oh bless. Yes its tough. X

Wait until you’re a week overdue.

Yes 2 scans a week apart (hellish wait) as had bad bleeding and pain. All was OK but that didn't exactly help.

Sorry to hear you’re struggling @AliceAbsolum would it be possible to speak to the maternity mental health team? I fully appreciate your reasons for being anxious, but I think maybe someone could help you, because you’re going to make yourself ill from all this stress building up x

I don't think I'm going to make myself ill. Ill with what? If I was totally calm that would be weird wouldn't it

It’s not recommended but I bought a doppler and at 10-11 weeks I found the heartbeat and I listened in every other day untill my dating scan. It was just a cheap one angelsounds I think -I actually got it second hand wasn’t expecting it to work, I was so glad I got one. I had three misscarriages before and my anxiety was through the roof so I totally get how you feel x

Would it? I must be very weird then. I had about five minutes of thinking “Oh shit, what have we done?”, then it was “Oh, this is a whole new adventure”.

I think she just meant making yourself ill with worry.

I'm 12+3 today and I totally get where you're coming from, the wait was agonizing. I have had nightmares for weeks about losing my bub before seeing them. I really hope everything works out okay for you. Everyone tells you not to worry but its completely impossible not to. It's completely understandable to worry especially with how much you've struggled to get pregnant. Still worry to this day and honestly don't think that'll change anytime soon, Just try not to worry too much, tell yourself as long as you feel rough, tired and sick and that you're not bleeding or in loads of pain that everything is going okay x

Yanbu I felt exactly the same…first trimester can just be an anxious, hellish experience that you just have to get through. It is all worth it in the end though.

I’ve heard once you’ve seen the heartbeat there’s a reduced chance of miscarriage. I wouldn’t buy a Doppler because it can lull you into a false sense of security if you aren’t really trained to use it.

I found booking in for the odd reassurance scan between nhs ones useful and once you can start to feel the baby move i think the anxiety can lessen a little as you’ll know if the pattern changes and can go to hospital to get it checked out.

@Pumpkinjam

I get that , but the babies heartbeat is a very distinctive sound - like a horse galloping and so fast you can’t mistake it for your own. I’m glad I did it anyway saved me a lot of worry.

Hi OP hopefully you will get into your second trimester soon and begin to relax and enjoy your pregnancy.

Please do not buy a doppler to listen to your baby's heart. They are not recommended by midwives or obstetricians for obvious reasons.

When you are further into your pregnancy it is movements that are a marker for fetal wellbeing not just a one of heartbeat.

Congratulations and goodluck with the rest of your pregnancy.