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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Who is the unreasonable one me or DH?

9 replies

Sfuandtired · 08/05/2022 19:28

I could do with some perspective on this please as I’m slightly baffled by it but am wondering if it’s me who’s in the wrong or DH?
DH will start small jobs around the house such as emptying the bins but then not actually putting them back or half emptying the dishwasher but putting the items on the kitchen side rather than away. He then gets annoyed when I don’t finish these jobs, my stand on it is that I’ve always got my own bits and pieces I’m doing such as sorting out the dcs uniform for example or cooking a meal and don’t need to be picking up half finished jobs that DH has started too!
To clarify he doesn’t do half a job and then sit doing nothing expecting me to finish it, he often flits onto something new.
He also has a habit of starting fairly large jobs on the spur of the moment which he’ll then expect me to help him with, I find it all quite stressful sometimes but is it me being unreasonable or DH? Thanks

OP posts:
Ferngreen · 08/05/2022 19:35

OMG - the expecting you to help him with jobs - really annoyed me. DH worked away for sooo much of the time so I got used to doing everything myself, including decorating, garden etc. But when he was at home and repairing fence or whatever he'd expect me to drop everything to help - Aaaaaaah. And the annoying thing is you are dropping everything to help with it at a time that suits him, not you. Grrrrrrr.

I would ask him what jobs he would like to do completely. and assign them totally to him. The dishwasher is such an easy job imv - I'd hope he could do something more demanding.

Shoxfordian · 08/05/2022 19:36

You’re both unreasonable to not finish jobs you start

IJoinedJustForThisThread · 08/05/2022 19:45

The worse thing is when my BF “helps” by emptying the kitchen bin (and proudly telling me) but doesn’t put a new bin bag in, so I start putting rubbish in the bin then have to pick it out again when I realise there’s no bin bag.

Giraffesandbottoms · 08/05/2022 19:46

Is he Hal?

m.youtube.com/watch?v=AbSehcT19u0I’m

LoveSpringDaffs · 08/05/2022 19:52

Why does he think you should finish jobs he started? That's ridiculous & controlling. He's not your bloody boss & you're not his mother! Jobs that need help get scheduled. I have my own
plans & my own shit, I'm not dropping everything to hold a fence panel because someone else has decided do it right now. Unless it's an emergency, if you want my help ASk when is it convenient!!

Blanca87 · 08/05/2022 19:56

He sounds like me and I have ADD l, do you think it might be a processing issue? Like he only sees what is in front of him then gets distracted by the next task/job?

Blanca87 · 08/05/2022 19:57

All though I don’t expect anyone to finish whatever job I have haphazardly started.

WanderleyWagon · 08/05/2022 19:58

I have the same question as @Blanca87.

Sfuandtired · 08/05/2022 20:26

Blanca87 · 08/05/2022 19:56

He sounds like me and I have ADD l, do you think it might be a processing issue? Like he only sees what is in front of him then gets distracted by the next task/job?

Yes quite possibly so.

OP posts:
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