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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fed up with hearing about it/seeing it and concerns over drinking - AIBU

3 replies

Lill789 · 07/05/2022 22:28

My cousin who is very late twenties, who I'm very close to had a bad break up last year. She's been single for a year now and I'm worried about her drinking.
She drinks to excess every weekend and gets black out drunk.
She gets into a state where she ends up calling me because she's stranded at 5am.
Tried to harm herself drunk. I've had to call ambulance.
I've picked her up from random people's houses.
Walks alone at night and walks off from friends.
Gets into arguments with random people on nights out as she turns lairy sometimes, I'm concerned she going to get into a fight at some point.
She makes stupid and horrible decisions drunk, I won't mention here but they're not nice things when drunk.
She's upsetting family members now as her drinking is affecting things she planned to do.

She can't go for a few drinks without staying out until 5/6am every single time.

She keeps telling me about it, and I am always there for her. But I'm starting to get really drained and tired, and almost resentful because she tells me she will change and that she wants to stop and then later that day she goes out again, starting drinking at 4pm until the next day.
I try to advise her, and I try to help her. She won't help herself.

It's only at the weekends, she has a very respected job so it's like she's living two lives.

What can I do? I'm now expecting, and I really can't emotionally cope with this anymore as I can't deal with the stress but feel guilty if I don't.

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 07/05/2022 22:30

Block her number.

Addicts won’t quit unless they want to.

BetsyBigNose · 07/05/2022 23:58

Her drinking is clearly out of control - both hers and yours. As an alcoholic myself (nearly 10 years sober), I know only too well that until she is ready to change, it simply won't happen. In your shoes, I would have one last conversation with her, where you explain how concerned you are for her and the impact her drinking is having on you. Let her know that when she is ready to do something about it, you will be there for her (if this is something you are prepared to do), perhaps have the number or website of a local recovery group to hand for her, but that until then, you need to take a step back from the relationship.

You can't stop her drinking, but you can stop letting her involve you.

WeAreTheHeroes · 08/05/2022 00:05

She's an alcoholic and needs to admit it to herself and want to do something about it in order to stop.

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