To think it will be a hassle to add a middle name?

[RoseTempest]

I changed my name to DH’s when we married 14 years ago. No question at the time, I had a very 1950s view at that point and was very young! I don’t regret it as such but as time has gone on I have stronger feelings on women’s rights etc, plus DH’s family have little contact with us whereas mine have daily contact and I want my old name back! My family mean the world to me and I feel a connection to my old name that is equal to my connection to DH’s name .

We have DC who obviously have our family name and I don’t want to not share a name with them so don’t want to revert to my maiden name.

our names dont hyphenate well, they sound like a different name when put together which would be a nightmare having to correct the whole time - like John-stone or Black-Mann

so I thought the best option would be to add my maiden name as a middle name so it’s still part of my name but in day to day terms nothing changes.

would this just be causing myself a load of hassle just to add a middle name? Will I be forever needing extra paperwork to prove the name change? Basically AIBU to think it’s more hassle than it’s worth?

also, if you’ve changed your name via deed poll - once all documents are changed how much extra hassle does it add to other stuff?

I changed my surname by deed poll and I thought it was a hassle, but I don’t think significantly more so really than changing your name by marriage though you do get more questions and I think places have become more and more concerned about documenting everything so it’s probably a bit more hassle now than it was 14 years ago. The only thing that is a bit different is that you can’t send off for a fresh copy of your deed poll from somewhere unless you pay money to have somewhere keep the record. With a marriage certificate if you lose it you can get another fairly easily and cheaply, a deed poll is just a piece of paper you keep (unless you get it enrolled, I think, but I didn’t do that so don’t know much about it) and if you lose it it’s more difficult to show a chain for your identity (but haven’t had to do that since I moved countries, so it may not be important).

Since it’s “just” a middle name, you may not need to update a lot of places if you’re okay with having just first and last name on some things like your bank account.

Seems like a lot of work and effort for something that won't really be used at all? It won't be on bank accounts etc, people won't start calling u it (even if u changed your surname to it they prob still wouldn't - creatures of habit), would it be on your passport?

Yes it would be on my passport and anywhere else that needs my full name but obviously I’d stay Mrs Tempest for stuff where middle name isn’t required. But I’d know my maiden name was part of my name.

I did this. I had a strong connection to my maiden name, and I was the last person in my family to have the surname so it felt extra special. The actual deed poll change was very straight forward and it's really not a problem. Whenever I need proof of name I would just send my marriage cert and deed poll at the same time, it's not a big deal.

I added a middle name to my child by deed poll, and changed my surname by deed poll. Both easy to do, no hassle.

Is it worth it to you? It seems like it is, so I would do it. Yes, there will be some paperwork and inconvenience -been there got the t shirt for a different name change - but it now feels right to me and every time I do use my full name, yes very rarely, it makes me smile

Thank you those who have done similar and shared. I do feel that it is important to me to have my original name included.

I guess as long as I make sure I keep the deed poll with my marriage cert I can prove the trail of names to whoever I need. I think it’s only passport, medical and bank that actually use the middle name.

as PP said, I think it would mean a lot to me to have it there on the rare occasion I would use my full name.

It’s easy and don’t bother getting a solicitor like I did that cost me £180 and was pointless.

is it Dan Q I followed his format and just changed name -

It's your name, while you will always be linked to your family I understand that you wish to keep it on your records. It's a small cost if you have the funds to complete.

I had every intention of doing this so I don't think it's unusual.