like stomp on his head, stab him repeatedly, set fire to his toenails etc?
Separated 11 years ago because of unreasonable behaviour, abuse, alcoholism and stuff like that. At the time he took me to court for access to the children and got alternate weekends, half the holidays and Wednesdays during term time. He never took up that time and hadn't seen them until last summer when he turned up out of the blue and has never paid any maintenance either. I agreed to let him see them as long as he was sensible and reliable and didn't mess them about. He agreed to that and at first was very good about calling them to arrange to see them and sticking to arrangements etc, but he got more and more erratic and didn't even call them to wish them happy new year.
forgot to mention, 3 years ago my daughter managed to get his phone number and called him. he was very nice to her and agreed to call the next day to arrange to see her. She spent the whole day sitting by the phone and when she tried to call him, he had changed his number. AFter that she started to self harm and has lots of serious mental health issues that mean she's been in hospital for much of the last 3 years but thankfully she is starting to recover now.
My son's behaviour started to get more and more erratic since his father reappeared, mood swings, depression and two very serious suicide attempts when his father didn't turn up as planned.
So I called him yesterday and explained that he needs to be consistent and reliable about seeing them, that if he arranges once a week or once a month doesn't matter so long as they know that they can depend on him turning up and being available for them at that time. I also said that he needs to be fair in terms of how he treats them compared to how he treats his wife's kids ie a motorbike and electric guitar for her kids and my two got a tenner each in a card. So he went into one about how he doesn't owe my children anything and they're a disgrace and that if I had wanted him to be reliable I shouldn't have ended the marriage etc etc etc. In the end I told him to take some time and think about whether he's man enough to take on some responsibility and have regular contact with his children or not and until then to stay away and now I'm so angry I can't help but think about nasty things I want to do to him because of the hurt he's causing my children
So, am I being unreasonable?