To be upset about weight/food comment

[cadburyegg]

FYI I'm a size 12, about 10 stone, 5'2. I know I am a bit overweight, I'm not in denial about it.

I mentioned to my friend recently over text that I'd gained half a stone since Christmas. It was said in an offhand way, I wasn't even moaning about it. We met up today for lunch and I had an iced coffee and an omelette. I also brought some squash in a bottle. She started saying how squash and iced coffee is full of sugar, and no wonder I gained weight. I said it was totally unfair to bring up the fact I'd put weight on, and she said that I mentioned it first (via the text message). I was clearly upset by it, I just was totally blind sided, we weren't even talking about food or anything. But she kept saying that I wasn't eating very healthily.

WIBU to be upset? I don't need a lecture on what I eat or comments on it. I'm well aware of what healthy choices are, I didn't ask her opinion either. Or should I be grateful that she was trying to help?

I don't think she was trying to help. Sorry.

YANBU. It was rude of her to give unsolicited observations/advice. People, even friends, shouldn't comment on these things unless they're asked to.

Rude! I'm very touchy about my weight/how I look but I'm 3 stone overweight 🙄🙈 but no your friend should not have made such comments. Is she a qualified dietitian or nutritionist?! 💐

Sorry, should have added on prev post...Even if she was qualified as a dietitian etc its still not her place to make such comments.

Rude. And also both drinks could have been sugar free???

No she was rude.
Squash is usually sugar free these days anyway (which isn't the point I know)

Rude, and possibly inaccurate. Squash doesn’t have to have added sugar in it and an iced coffee wouldn’t usually be sugary either.

Bit off to comment on your food. Don’t bother mentioning weight in future - there will always be someone to make a comment about it. She’s right but doesn’t need to mention something you already know.

I hate people that do this.

Zero calorie flavoured water- "Oooh, that's not very healthy is it?!" Fuck off, it's water with a bit of fake strawberry and some sweetener, I've not lit up a crack pipe.

Of course you shouldn't be grateful, no more than she would be if you'd offered her unsolicited diet advice. Unless people ask for advice then no one should be commenting or offering "guidance". She was rude.

Oh, just tell her to fuck off. People who hide snark under helpfulness do my head in.

She was rude but was probably right, squash and iced coffee are full of sugar. Why you needed to mention something you are clearly sensitive about is beyond me. How do mention that you’ve gained weight in a neutral tone?

I used to have a ‘friend’ who would often make stupid comments about what I eat or drink. I’m a size 10, have 2 kids, close to 40s and I simply don’t care that much anymore. I am happy I’m healthy I’ve never lost sleep over any signs of ageing.
She’s a size 6-8, vegan and irritating. She’d sigh when we were out and I picked food and would day ‘you can’t have that, it’s packed with carbs. Let me pick your lunch for you’, ‘The only thing you should have on that plate is the celery’; (at a bbq gathering where I was offered a burger): ‘imagine offering a burger to an overweight person 🙄’

I HATED her presence and I kept thinking ‘poor thing, she must hate herself so much to constantly point out flaws in me and everyone’. I ghosted her ass and I don’t know why I haven’t done it a lot sooner.

She was being a cow. Ugh, people like her irritate me so much.

Just because you confided in her about how you were feeling, doesn't give her the right to make judgments about you. She is very rude.

Why did you mention it at all?

Perhaps she thought you expected comments, & what she perceives as advice/support.

That is so rude!!

I work with a woman who complains about her weight and eats chocolate every afternoon, I wouldn't dream of commenting on it. It's really not my business!