To stop breastfeeding?

[Yahyahs22]

I have a 3 week old who is attached to me feeding 24/7. He cannot go 10 minutes without screaming for food. His naps are so short because he wakes up rooting. Its effecting my relationship, I can't spend any time with DS1, I'm getting no sleep and I can barely get dressed without him crying. I don't know if it's because I'm not creating enough milk for him or something else but my first child was not like this, cluster feeding lasted a couple of days at most, not weeks!
Is stopping and going to formula the way here? Has anyone else had a similar experience and glad they persevered?? Any advice would be helpful, HV just says, 'hang in there it gets easier' but it's only getting harder.

Well In that case he’s just a hungry caterpillar 🐛 good luck whichever you choose… and you can choose don’t feel guilty either way, he’ll thrive regardless xo

Perhaps he's not sucking/latching properly and so isn't getting transferring enough milk with each feed?

Thank you @sjxoxo x

I have considered that @fiolettovii, but wouldn't I be in pain if the latch was incorrect?

My lactation consultant sent me this to watch

I had this, she was cluster feeding for 6 hours at a time, I was crying constantly, no time for eating or going to the loo, felt completely touched out. At 10 days switched to formula and I was so much happier! No regrets and only did formula with my second. Both thriving toddlers now.

I felt just like this, but I stuck with it - glad I did! So convenient, and DD has had very few illnesses, which I put down to BFing. It's worth sticking it out.

My breast fed baby has asthma and eczema. My formula fed baby doesn't 👶

Honestly it's down to genetics and pure luck.

Do what you need to do OP. Either way your baby will be fine.

Both my babies have been like this! DC1 was soooo painful though. I EBF for 6 weeks, introduced formula then and gradually combi-fed til she was FF by 12 weeks. I'm not glad I persevered that long tbh it was awful but that was mainly because of the pain.

DC2 was also like this but the pain was much improved after the first 3/4 weeks or so and gone by about 6/7 weeks. I'm still BF him at 6 months although he has been combi-fed since a few weeks old, as he has 3 bottles a week. This was EBM for the first 6 weeks, mostly formula thereafter. I'm glad I stuck it out with him, it was relentless but it got much much easier about 3/4 months in terms of frequency of feeding and as he was gaining so well I started using the dummy a lot more around the 12 week mark which he took to very well. From about 4 months he has a strong preference for dummy for sleep, he doesn't feed to sleep at all in the day and very rarely on a night either these days. He only feeds every 3hrs or so in the day on average, sometimes less. He has about 3 night feeds though but it was less when he was younger. Having said all that, my eldest was about 3.5 when we had DC2 - I'm not sure I could have coped if she had only been 2, as she was quite independent in many ways at 3.5. I still did do a lot of walking around breastfeeding DC2 though as I had to. Also, even though he's older and not interested in BF loads any more, he still cries any time I put him down to do anything like get changed etc. That hasn't changed at all and I don't think it's linked to BF tbh but jus this personality, DD was the same and she was bottle fed.

For anyone interested or who needs this information. I realised I wasn't drinking enough, I've upped my water intake and hes like a new baby! Slept so well last night and I've actually had time to clean!

Have a look at your red book towards the back and there will be a breastfeeding assessment page, your baby should be having at least 6 wet nappies, at least 2 stools, and be on the breast for 5-40 minutes per feed.

From what you have said it does not sound like your baby has a tongue tie as your not describing any nipple trauma but it can’t be ruled out without proper assessment.

make sure you look after yourself which is hard with a screaming baby, plenty of fluids and eating well.

if all of the above it correct and baby is still unsettled I would consider keeping a good diary and possibly exploring reflux which can start as early as birth (colic comes later with more extreme crying).

it’s very hard BF and looking after a toddler and a whole new set of demands so hats off to you, you sound like you are doing a bloody great job and your perseverance will pay off.

having said all of that, if you feel like your mental health is suffering or you are finding it hard then absolutely introduce a bottle, maybe when the toddler needs you the most such as bedtime to give yourself some respite and the toddler some quiet time with you. You could also express and give the EBM via bottle but you may struggle to find the time with so much on your plate.

Sorry that was meant to say Food diary

I would normally say it is a hard slog and does get easier around 6-8 weeks, then those few weeks will be really worth it as it saves you so much time not having to faff about steralising bottles and formula prep etc, but Ive never done it with a toddler in tow too.

Your problem is your partner needs to step up for the next few weeks too. Can you explain that to him that you need extra support to get through this bit then it will be easier on all of you. Also the hoovering and housework can wait! Let the place get untidy and he will see visually how hard it is on you.

I have said I need more help so many times but his response is always, 'I am helping I do everything you ask!'
Problem is I have to ask, he can't just take initiative and on top of that I don't want to ask cus he either huffs and puffs, doesn't do it or does it waaay later. Getting so resentful of all the free time he has to just sit on his phone and go on fishing trips.

Have you tried a dummy?

a dummy is the last thing you want to use because it will mess up the sucking reflex balance that you need to produce more milk at this stage

if he’s gaining weight that sounds very positive

Sorry just saw your update! Great news and thanks for sharing. X