AIBU to think this teacher was victim blaming?

[Natsku]

There was an incident in DD's class yesterday, the art teacher left the class for a moment to fetch something from another classroom. During that time, one boy (call him boy A) hit another boy (boy B) very hard. Boy B ran out of the classroom crying and boy A stormed out just as the teacher was returning. The teacher asked the rest of the class what had happened, now both boys were gone, and then said to the class that they must not annoy boy A because he reacts easily like this.
She hadn't been told if there was any argument or provocation, she emailed the parents to say that she was still waiting to find out the details, so I feel like she jumped to the conclusion that boy B must have annoyed boy A and caused himself to be hit.
The children are 10/11 years old. According to DD boy A often does things like this, though its the first time a teacher has ever told us.

There may be an issue that the teacher is aware of that you aren't, so maybe don't get too involved here.

Are either of the boys yours? If not, then absolutely nothing to do with you.

Yes I was wondering how any of this was your business too.

YANBU - the teacher shouldn't have divulged anything about pupil A or inferred that B must have annoyed him.

Some kids get easily wound up and lash out.
I would tell their class mates not to wind them
up…! Not victim blaming

The teacher emailed all the parents to tell us the whole story. I wouldn't know otherwise so wouldn't care but because she told us it now makes me wonder how she deals with discipline issues. Boy A used to bully DD so I would not be happy if that was to start again and DD was told not to "annoy" him rather than figuring out what was actually going on.

I can't believe the teacher e-mailed all the parents. Talk about dramatising an incident.

It was odd, especially as she named names. And she said this class should never be left alone, but that she has no influence over the matter. After she left them alone. Just odd.

The teacher emailed all the parents to tell us the whole story.

What? This is the issue.

I have never, even with the bonkers stuff on MN, heard of a teacher doing something as unprofessional that- to email that story, with names.

If it's true, you obviously need to contact the headteacher.

I think at this age children can go through a phase of deliberately antagonising a child they know is prone to lashing out. In those instances both parties are as responsible as the other.

There will be more to it in terms of back story

She named names? I would be furious about that - I wouldn't want such details shared about my child.

As for her telling the class, well perhaps there are situations with SEN or other needs or wider issues involved that would make it necessary.

Yes this is the issue.

Are you in the UK op?

Not in the UK, so I don't know if naming names is not on or not, though I suppose she assumed names would come out anyway if the other children mentioned it at home.
If she had known that the class had been annoying the boy prior to the incident then I would understand why she would say that to the class, but she didn't know what caused the incident, she just jumped to the conclusion that he must have been provoked.

If boy A has temper issues this needs some action by the school to ensure the safety of children and teachers, it's not acceptable whatever the reason - and saying don't set him off isn't acceptable

Find it incredibly hard to believe that a teacher would e-mail all parents.
just why (ethics and professionalism aside) did the teacher assume they would have any interest?
Very odd.

This was my first thought.

Doesn't make sense why she went so easy on him otherwise.

If she had known that the class had been annoying the boy prior to the incident then I would understand why she would say that to the class, but she didn't know what caused the incident, she just jumped to the conclusion that he must have been provoked.

Honestly, this is just not your issue to sort because you don't know the situation, nor should you be told about it. If there is a problem, the boy's mum can get in touch.

I would certainly be, at least, speaking to the teacher about confidentiality- even if this is a country with very lax standards, where they would face no consequences, it's still not on.

This would not be allowed anywhere in Europe under GDPR I assume. But data rights are weaker elsewhere (and soon will be weaker in the UK soon, thank you Brexit voters for reducing protections for children).

This sounds awful all round - yes it is victim-blaming, and no the children should not be named, and the teacher shouldn't be discussing it this way.

"Anger Issues" is the standard diagnosis trotted out by DD's school whenever an out of control neglected child harms another. The answer to the problem is apparently to stay away from these kids and from the special needs kids. DD's teacher has actually advised me of this.

DD just told me the teacher wasn't gone for a just a moment but for "at least half an hour" so even allowing for exaggeration that must have been at least 10-15 minutes, even with the generally laxer standards here I think that would be considered not right so perhaps she sent the message to kind of defend her actions and put the emphasis on the children rather than her leaving the room for so long.

@MyBrilliantFriend I disagree if my DD had to witness acts of violence in the classroom I would make it "my business" to understand what had happened and why so I could explain it to my DD . Children can be traumatised by witnessing assaults on their peers.

@Natsku Assault is assault and if Boy A assaulted Boy B It is Boy A that is to blame ,no one should be told "dont push his buttons" is relevant when an assault has taken place.
There may be circumstances that need to be established and understood to make sure both Boys get support and advice to help them learn ,grow and develop ,but nothing will make the assailant not responsible for his actions....

I very much doubt a teacher left the class for 10-30 min, especially with a kid with a short fuse in there

DD just told me the teacher wasn't gone for a just a moment but for "at least half an hour

I'd be more worried about this than the two boys who have nothing to do with you.

I find it ridiculous she emailed the whole class parents about it

I'd expect DD to exaggerate a bit but I really don't think she'd lie about this. Going to wait and see if the class teacher says something about this.