Incontinence in 20s

[Doughnutee]

Hello

I’m not sure if I’m posting in the right place. My AIBU is am I being unreasonable to go to GP about this.

I am 22, with no children, and in the past year I have found myself waking up peeing in bed four times. It’s also happened a couple of times the year before, and I have to go to the bathroom every hour nearly (both wee and poo) during waking hours. I woke up last night weeing, and I just felt so much shame and embarrassment, I had to sneak out and clean up before my partner woke up. I couldn’t get back to sleep in case it happened again, and now my stomach is hurting and bloated. After the first time I stated really struggling to get to sleep as I was so scared it would happen and I didn’t want my partner to know (I would be very uncomfortable if he was peeing in bed), and now I have proper insomnia as I’m just terrified it will happen again. I think that makes it worse because then it’s harder to get up when it happens as I’m so tired.
Its started taking over my life now- I struggle to go on long journeys as I need the bathroom so often, and my biggest fear is that I will wee and wake my partner in the night.

Im too embarrassed to go to the doctors- I’ve heard this happening to older women who have had children/the menopause but not at 22. I feel like I won’t be able to tell the doctor, and that they will tell me I have to toilet train myself like a child again. I just feel so incredibly embarrassed and stressed, and am honestly close to moving out as I’m so scared for my partner to find out.

I don’t know what to do- I can’t tell anyone in real life, so hopefully someone on an anonymous forum can help, as I’m just too embarrassed to speak to the doctor.

You need to go to the doctors so they can check you for diabetes

I know you're embarrassed but there's literally nothing GPs haven't seen or heard before, they will just want to help you

Yes indeed. Please don't hesitate, grit your teeth and pick up that phone.

You need some medical advice-go to your GP. It’s something they will have seen before don’t worry. But you must get sorted.

You definitely need to see the GP, ask for a female one, as it won’t go away until you ask for help. You need to test for a UTI to start with.
Why don’t you buy some period knickers for now, or wear a Tena/ST at night ?

That is abnormal for your age and I'd want a Dr to rule anything serious out if I were you asap. Did the nights you wet the bed coincide with you drinking at all?

The GP will not judge you or tell you to toilet train yourself, this is a medical problem, not a personal failing of any kind! How long has this been happening? Even if it’s been since childhood, it’s not your fault! Please please go along to your GP and ask for help.

Also, do you not think your partner would support you?

Another saying GP advice needed. It's a medical issue and you need to prioritize this.

Please see a Gp, they will be ok do not worry, I would ask for a female Gp, it is very important you do this soon. I had overactive bladder with other symptoms (eg mobility issues, back pain amongst others) which meant I needed an op & medication which has helped me enormously.
Please get seen so you can take steps to help get better and the help you need.

One thing you could do is write down all your symptoms and how it is affecting your daily life so that you can give it to the Gp when you see them.

You definitely need to go to the GP. They have seen everything and won’t judge. It could be a UTI, which is easily treated.

Also you are not alone there are many women who suffer but I am confident you can be helped. Your description of feeling exhausted at night, I had to get up multiple times, car journeys were avoided you have my sympathy. Take Care

I had a UTI that caused urge incontinance . It was a strange one as I didn’t have the “regular” UTI symptoms, such as a burning sensation.
I was mortified.. I just thought I’d become incontinent in my 40s - anyway a trip to the GP, urine test & specific antibiotics sorted it out.
I also gave some Tenna pants in the wardrobe, in case the same thing starts again.

Weeing in the bed is abnormal and something you need to tell your gp.
Could be you have some kind of infection but definitely need to get it checked out.

Thank you all. I have contacted the GP, and have a phone appointment with a female doctor this morning, which is probably less embarrassing than in person. I think it’s probably an infection, but I must be getting reoccurring infections as it’s happening very regularly.
I don’t know how to link to posts, but it’s not related to drinking as I’m teetotal due to religion.

Glad you now have an appointment, fingers crossed you will be on the way to getting better Soon 🤞

Hope you get on ok this morning. I am much older than you but I ignored this thinking it was age. I am 54. I finally went to the doctors when I went myself laying down and I couldn't blame gravity!
Turned out i had a UTI, prolapse and overactive bladder. Tablets have made a big difference but have also invested in tena proper washable knickers. If out all day, I wear those which have changed my life