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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU: not to want to be contacted by WhatsApp?

21 replies

Matleaf · 05/05/2022 21:40

I’m on mat leave, due to go back end of Aug. I went in for a KIT day on Wednesday. My line manager has since set up a WhatsApp group between me and my mat cover and her and messaged me on it about finding dates to meet to discuss next step and how to use my KIT days. AIBU to expect her to message me by work email and not my personal phone? When at work we did WhatsApp and I’ve never really been precious about being contacted outside of work hours etc, but this feels different? It feels like work is now hanging over my head 😞

OP posts:
Moomeh · 05/05/2022 21:43

Yanbu but just tell your line manager. "Please can I use email instead." She probably thinks she's doing you a favour and just doesn't realise.

KaraVanPark · 05/05/2022 21:44

I mute all work groups/and work people I don’t want to chat to. I ignore the messages my last manager used to message me to tell me to read the group chat when it was all kicking off

Marty13 · 05/05/2022 21:44

I'd say it depends on how often they contact you and also just because they whatsapp you doesn't mean you have to reply right away.
I would just make it clear to them that you won't be available at all times and that a response will come as soon as possible in work hours only.

Heathyou · 05/05/2022 21:52

It wouldn't bother me, she needs to know dates, it doesn't sound like they are actually discussing work.

Gilesgoesformiles · 05/05/2022 21:53

I don’t believe you’re legally allowed to contact via work email. Ours are disabled. It’s so you can decide contact or not

SafelySoftly · 05/05/2022 21:58

Ignore @Gilesgoesformiles yes they can contact you on work email. Just message your manager and ask her to remove you. Can’t see why you need to start a thread about it. I suspect your manager was being nice and thoughtful as most people do not like checking work email on maternity leave!

Olsi109 · 05/05/2022 22:05

I've been using my work emails. Tbh I would be suspicious as to why she needs you in a group with your Mat Cover? I would take that as soon she can ask you things etc.

PP said manager needs to know dates. No she doesn't - it is up to OP if/when she does her KIT days and asks herself when she is ready.

I'd see it as slightly pressurising and I don't want to know anything to do with work when I'm on Mat, certainly not groups set up to discuss work. I emailed my line manager with the dates I wanted, she agreed and that was that, only contact I've had.

Id just remove yourself OP and send her an email explaining that you'd like to keep contact with her but via work email then you can check it when you want.

CasperGutman · 05/05/2022 22:11

Marty13 · 05/05/2022 21:44

I'd say it depends on how often they contact you and also just because they whatsapp you doesn't mean you have to reply right away.
I would just make it clear to them that you won't be available at all times and that a response will come as soon as possible in work hours only.

If she only replies "in work hours" then they'll be waiting a while. She's on maternity leave, and her "work hours" only happen on KIT days.

WimbyAce · 05/05/2022 22:14

I don't think I would like this either. I just contacted on my personal email about setting up KIT days but don't feel pressured. I did a few and decided actually I didn't want to do any more and enjoyed the remaining maternity leave without thinking about work.

Moomeh · 05/05/2022 23:20

I used to be really resentful of some bad managers I had in the past - and they were textbook awful - but I've gradually come to learn that some are just really inexperienced with no empathy. You may be the first employee on mat leave she has ever managed. Just email or call her, keep it brief with no hint of criticism, defensiveness or grievance.

"Thank you for setting up this WhatsApp group for me and for supporting my transition back to work. However I'd be more comfortable keeping all work communication by work email only. Thank you for understanding."

Job done, no more angst.

GiltEdges · 05/05/2022 23:28

If you don't want to be contacted by WhatsApp then I think it's fine for you to tell your manager that. That said, I think most people would find contact to their work email strange as an alternative because they wouldn't want to be checking it whilst on mat leave and some companies even temporarily disable it for security reasons. Personal email is probably more common.

trainnane · 05/05/2022 23:36

Setting up temporary WA groups to sort things out is totally common place in most organisations.
You shouldn't have access to work email on Mat leave so I think you are seeing an issue that's not there. They are just trying to have a chat / sort a few bits

TheHatinaCat · 05/05/2022 23:42

No, you're on maternity leave.

I'd say work will definitely be hanging over your head if you're accessing work email every day.

Sally872 · 05/05/2022 23:47

Do you have access to work email? I didn't during mat leave.

I would respond to book the kit days then mute/leave the chat. If they contact again just say will discuss on kit days, don't have time during mat leave.

iggybop · 06/05/2022 14:57

If it's just arranging dates, I don't see the issue

If its more
Specific work stuff then ignore. That's what KIT days are designed for

balalake · 06/05/2022 15:16

I have refused to be on any work based What's App group, and indeed after one of my colleagues did for different reasons, the idea was abandoned.

Arranging a couple of KIT days should just be one phone call or email, nothing else. Let your manager know, be polite but firm.

Triffid1 · 06/05/2022 15:22

Oh my god. People are so precious. Of course, only you can accurately assess if this is a low level attempt to pressure you. Far more likely, it just seemed like a convenient, speedy way to get some dates in the diary. I have a WhatsApp group with my assistant and one of my colleagues for this exact purpose. No one uses it for anything except quick messages to check on dates/times/meeting invites.

If it's such a big deal for you then just respond as a PP has suggested with some form of - thanks for this. I'll reply via email as prefer to manage work things from there.

LeftFootForward · 06/05/2022 15:53

Just tell her your phone is old and can't support many apps so she'll havd to email you, that's what I always do in such a situation 😁

TrialofTrials · 06/05/2022 16:00

Well it depends. Just talk to your manager. I have specifically told my manager that I prefer wattsapp to work email during my maternity leave so that I don't have to keep checking my email. So it might be that she is trying to be helpful. As a manager I find mat leave quite stressful as I never know what preferences someone might have and would much rather people just tell me.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 06/05/2022 16:01

Hang on....is this your personal number? In what way is it ok for management to share your personal number out without your permission?

Glittertwins · 06/05/2022 16:01

Or just leave the group and change your settings so you can't be re-added?
If it's a personal mobile phone number, I don't think the manager should be doing this without consent / after all she's giving your contact details to someone you might not know

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