To think Mother in law really dislikes me - AIBU?

[RubyEmma212121]

I have been with my partner 15 yrs. His mother is 80 and I am 33 so she's more like my grandmother's age.

Anyway she came to stay with us recently and the day she arrived it was my birthday she said 'oh its today I thought it was Friday' looked the other way and didn't say happy birthday. Then 15 mins later passed me a card and said 'I didn't forget'

Then the rest of the visit she didn't attempt to make any conversation with me only gave one word or so answers to any questions I asked. If I didn't ask any questions or spark up the conversation we would be sat in silence.

OH says it's just the way she is but did also admit that he could see where I was coming from for me thinking she doesn't like me very much.

AIBU?

Doesn’t sound as though she does

Does it bother you?

I think it would help to know what she’s been like for the last 15 years?!

I’ve never been ever to build a relationship with my MIL in a similar amount of time. We’re both nice, we both have friends… but we’d sit in silence if wasn’t for my chirpy, “oh you’ve had your hair done?” or her perfunctory, “do you have weekend plans?”
We just don’t gel and it’s like 15 years of the first stilted meeting 🤣

How old is your dh?

Does she live alone OP? I only ask because after my grandad died and my nana was the same age as you MIL she was very much the same. Sat in silence and would only give short answers if you did ask any questions or try to make conversation. Yet she always said about how happy she was that you went to visit. She was just so used to being on her own.

What is she like with her son? Does she actively make conversation with him?

Do you have to see her often?
You won't change her now, but maybe take more of a verbal backseat and let DH make all the effort.

Probably not but, being brutally honest, the woman is 80 so I think this problem will resolve itself.

😭

How has she behaved towards you for the past 15 years?

She's always been a little abrupt and not overly friendly so even though challenging I didn't see it as particularly personal until recently.

We've had a few family staycations but even then she would make remarks to my OH that I'd not tidied up properly or tell me to be quiet and stop being silly if I'd have a few glasses of wine and tried to lighten the mood a little.

We are different people I guess but I would never write someone off and be short with them on that basis. Even when she went to leave after staying in my home for a few days she hugged and said goodbye to my kids and OH then walked out the door without even turning around to say goodbye to me when I was standing right there.

@Testina Glad I'm not the only one! 😂

@Skelligsfeathers 40