My teacher (let's call him Mr X) set himself up as the go-to guy for pastoral support for both sexes, even though officially he was not, but he managed to convince people including my mum that he was (he really charmed her). Officially we had 2 teachers in charge of pastoral stuff, a male (not Mr X but a different teacher) for the boys and a female one for the girls, and Mr X seemed really pissed off that he didnt have both roles and acted like it was his role anyway. He got really involved in all the high school dramas (especially involving girls, younger kids, and anything involving love, sex, romance etc.) and told us to tell him all our problems, worries, issues, gossip, secrets etc.
He was like Jeremy Kyle: he would take these issues, blow them up out of all proportion, deliberately upset us and turn us against each other. Girls would go to him to say things like, "I fancy a boy in my class, what do I do?" and Mr X would go off on one about how she was a whore who was on the wrong path and would die young and alone and unloved unless she did what Mr X said.
It was all v manipulative. He would do things like grabbing girls in the lunch queue to drag them off somewhere to tell them off for ordinary things like fancying boys, acting like these girls had done something terrible, he would deny them their lunch as punishment, call them pathetic for being upset by this, then he would change the following lesson to be about something like "the meaning of life is love" so he could humiliate the girl in front of the class.
It was like he love-bombed us at first, then withdrew this love, then offered us only crumbs back. We were supposed to see him as a "friend" who could "help" us but we soon all lost trust in him. We used to tell each other, "I wish he'd get a girlfriend so he could leave us alone!" He seemed over-involved or over-invested in us.
Mr X also used to tell kids during lessons about his latest dating disasters; bitch about other adults, especially our parents and other teachers, and teach us conspiracy theories as fact; tell us stories about teenage girls falsely accusing male teachers of abuse; used threats to keep us quiet about kids being abused by other men (not him) during a voluntary work thing he organised; and contacted kids using a personal email address that we were told to keep strictly secret from the school. The emails were supposedly just "banter," but if they were so harmless, why the secrecy?
There were times when he made nasty sexual comments during lessons to shut people up, e.g. if he was getting something wrong (usually going outside of his subject and onto other subjects that he was clearly ignorant about) or telling us one of his conspiracies and a kid said "My mum says that's wrong" he would lose his temper and say "Eurgh, you love your mum, that means you have sex with your mum, I dont want to know what you and your mum are getting up to at the weekend, I bet you do it with your brother too, hahaha!"
Using humiliation and false accusations of parents sexually abusing their kids, and laughing about it, just to cover the fact he didnt know what he was teaching :(
As well as the sexual comments he also made generally insulting comments when he was challenged like this, e.g. "You're stupid and your mum is stupid, don't listen to her, I'm the only teacher around here!"
There was a girl in my class who exhibitef sexualised behaviour (I didnt know at the time but apparently it can be a sign of abuse and I later found out she had been abused). One time I and another girl saw her doing this behaviour, she was masturbating with the corner of a school desk and he was watching her, then he laughed and turned to me and the other girl and said words along the lines of, "this is just our banter, dont go complaining about this to anybody, if you do it means you are virgins and prudes and noone will like you and you'll die alone (etc etc, all his usual stuff - basically words to the effect of: this is our little secret, dont you dare tell anyone)."
I was really shocked by this. Me and the other witness walked away, I was like, "That was weird, what was that all.about?" I distinctly remember the other girl said, "Do you reckon theres something going on between those two?" I said, "What, Mr X and X Girl? No way! But that's illegal!" and the other girl said, "No, I reckon theres something going o there." At the time I was shocked but as an adult I have often thought she had a good.point.
I remember trying to raise my concerns with my parents and struggling to articulate why I felt so uncomfortable about this teacher's behaviour but they refused to listen and accused me and other kids of making things up. There was also the fact they didnt understand all the words I was using and hadn't heard of certain things such as masturbation and "your mum" jokes (it is a fucking miracle I even exist, my parents dont seem to know anything about sex!)
The fact I had seen him make sexual comments and watch a girl doing something sexual just didnt seem to be enough of a "smoking gun" for them, I hadn't seen him actually having sex with kids, didnt have photos of it etc, so I was just written off as a troublemaker.
They were also rather taken in by the reputation of the school and the high academic results he produced in his subject (he taught us a lot about exam technique - I feel like he taught us to bullshit our way through the exam!).
The whole situation has affected me even though he never had sex with me - I suppose because it was still a form of grooming.