What is too much?

[Holl90]

So my DH and I seem to have quite a good relationship, however, my mum made a comment the other day that he is always out! My best friend said similar too. He plays sport twice a week (this is when me and kids are in bed) yes he is definitely doing that as I have turned up to watch him a few times, he helps with bed time and then leaves. I read a book or what TV, have a long bath etc and quite enjoy the time to myself.

This month he is away for 2 weekends, a stag do and a wedding. I’m invited to the wedding but we can’t get sitters and I don’t really know them anyway. I’m happy for him to go and I am away with the girls for one night this month too, he does allow me the free time!

when I hear people say ‘they don’t do that sort of thing’…what sort of thing do they mean? Dancing? Having fun? Am I wrong? Should we be glued to each other? I don’t know what the right way is?

Who gives a shit what other people think? Why do you care? You seem perfectly happy with it so what's the problem?

Why have you posted twice?

It didn’t load when I first uploaded it and then I saw the relationships thread!…sorry!

If it works for you then it's fine. They are silly for thinking that one level of activities is right for every couple.

It really just depends on what everyone is happy with, if it works for you and your husband then who cares what other people say. Everyone is different and wants different things from relationships some would hate to be alone in the evenings so often and others value the time to themselves, personally I value the time to myself too but everyone is different

Oh don't worry about what other people think. They may be jealous of the space you give each other happily. My husband and I are similar.
The only thing I would say is that if you want to go out to exercise or meet friends would he make himself readily available to mind the children, or are you always the default evening parent so he gets his freedom out of the house but you never do? I totally get that personality styles are different and you may be more of a home body than him, but you do deserve that time totally to yourself too

Couldn't and wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where we lived in each other’s pockets… in our circle it’s a mix of couples who are together 24/7 and those who are similar to you (&’me!) everyone’s happy

comparison is the thief of joy and normally comes from some who is jealous imo

2 Evenings a week sounds reasonable to me, as long as it's not at the expense of your relationship or him pulling his weight around the house.That doesn't seem to be the case here

The stag and wedding seem like a bit of a red herring in my opinion as I assume it's fairly rare (unless he's one of these people which a huge friendship circle and is always going to various events)

I wish my dh would go out more often 😀It would give me, as someone who loves their own space, a much needed break! Sod everyone else's opinion, op. If it works for you all, carry on.

Two evenings a week playing sport when the kids are in bed, can't see any sort of problem with that at all. Strange for anyone to have an issue with it. I assume he's not at stag wknds and weddings every month so all seems perfect really.