I'm currently in a relationship with my partner of 8 years and we are at war, continually. It never gives up. I think the reason is mostly raising very young children and a load of other pressures that aren't going away any time soon. We also have our own issues that we are trying to work on.
I come from an abusive background so have never had a positive relationship modelled to me. I therefore don't really know how to deal with my own anger and resentment without resorting to known abuser tactics.
For example, I'm really cross with my partner at the moment - he didnt check in yesterday after i sent a message to say I was really struggling with the kids.
Instead of dealing, I have fallen into silent/scowling mode. Last night I had a huge internal battle trying to decide whether I should run downstairs to confront him (which would be an angry exchange) or just leave it and catch up on precious sleep. I managed to leave it, but mostly because I simply couldn't face another battle. He just left for work and I scowled at him and didn't answer when he said 'I love you'.
Other times I just can't keep my anger inside and I do name calling and I can slam doors.
Suffice to day none of this works. So I want to ask how people deal with conflict within their relationships as I just don't have the tools.
Sorry as this isn't really an AIBU but I'd appreciate a variety of perspectives.