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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is disrespectful?

20 replies

Powerofthedog · 04/05/2022 23:46

I’m in a new role and the person I report to I have daily catch ups with and today we were in the office.

I had two half an hour catch ups and both times he was 10 minutes late (one of the times was because he decided now was time he wanted to get a coffee with his friend)

I know 10 minutes isn’t a lot but when you look at it by it being an actual third of the allocated time it really does seem like he doesn’t give a shit.

OP posts:
Isausernameavailable · 04/05/2022 23:52

Late is always rude

Ihatethenewlook · 05/05/2022 00:00

Did the catch up overrun by him being late which affected your work after?

Aquamarine1029 · 05/05/2022 00:02

I wouldn't be surprised if this was very intentional.

Kite22 · 05/05/2022 00:20

It rather depends on the workplace.
Some jobs have unpredictable times and any 'appointment' is "as close as I can make it to X time".
Some meetings are blocked out in 30 min or hour slots but you know they are 'a meeting during that slot' as actually they are a 10 min touch base.
Others are more fixed / formal.

So, in my job, no it wouldn't be a problem if a meeting with a colleague started a bit late - I'd assume the previous meeting over ran, or they'd taken quite an important call, etc. , however, maybe you work in a different workplace from me.

chisanunian · 05/05/2022 00:23

Is this person considerably senior to you or just a colleague in the same team who's showing you the ropes?

soundofsilver · 05/05/2022 00:25

Being late is always rude

VeniVidiWeeWee · 05/05/2022 00:46

@Isausernameavailable

"Late is always rude."

Well, that's a load of bollocks.

Marvellousmadness · 05/05/2022 01:08

Yabu for not pointing that out to him
Yabu for putting up with it

Next time just leave. You are not a dog you donthave to waist your time waiting for him

Sagealicious · 05/05/2022 01:19

Being late isn't always rude. What is rude is not apologising and not taking steps to make sure it doesn't happen again.

interest12 · 05/05/2022 01:43

Being late isn’t ALWAYS rude. Going to get a coffee would be quite an acceptable reason for a meeting to start late in my workplace. I wouldn’t want to work somewhere that’s so rigid and critical

Bogeyes · 05/05/2022 03:38

You are less important than a cup of coffee.

Kanaloa · 05/05/2022 03:49

It’s rude. If you ask someone to take time out of their working day at a certain time to meet with you it’s basic politeness to show up at that time. Why would you want to waste 10 minutes of your life waiting for him?

Of course anyone can be late once as a mistake/emergency/whatever. But to do it more than once in a work capacity is unprofessional and annoying.

Kanaloa · 05/05/2022 03:54

Although in certain workplaces it would be acceptable - but I don’t think many workplaces would consider a colleague polite if they showed up 10 minutes after they said they would and said ‘I was getting a coffee with my friend while you waited for me.’ It’s rude and disrespectful. Different if the person asked to meet about 10 and then said ‘sorry I was caught in traffic/another meeting ran over etc, didn’t mean to leave you waiting.’

Rosehugger · 05/05/2022 03:58

What he should have done was spoken to you and asked if you mind starting ten minutes later, and would you like anything from the coffee shop while he's there.

cookiemonster2468 · 05/05/2022 04:27

If you have daily catch ups with him, I suppose you will soon see if it is a pattern or if it was just that one day.

As others have said it really depends on the culture of the workplace. It wouldn't be too big of a deal to me, although if it happened daily I might just clarify with them what they mean when they say we're meeting at X time - so we're both on the same page.

It might just mean he will catch up with you at some point during that half hour time slot, not necessarily on the dot.

It's just about communication. See if it keeps happening, if it does and it bothers you then talk to him about it (in a polite way of course) so you are not wasting time.

HandScreen · 05/05/2022 04:55

Goodness, these are daily catch ups - quite a casual thing. I would just get on with my work while you wait, knowing to expect a pop-in chat sometime during that half hour. Surely you don'y have enough material to fill a full half hour each day?!

Indicatrice · 05/05/2022 05:02

You need to cancel every time he does this and ask him to put a new time in your diary. Make sure YOU are not the one arranging the new time,

Every time you get up and meekly have the catch-up when he is 10 mins late sends the message that your time is less valuable than his.

AlternativePerspective · 05/05/2022 05:02

It’s a workplace not a coffee shop. Presumably he has a lunch break if he wants to socialise.

Original poster
Powerofthedog · 05/05/2022 10:59

HandScreen · 05/05/2022 04:55

Goodness, these are daily catch ups - quite a casual thing. I would just get on with my work while you wait, knowing to expect a pop-in chat sometime during that half hour. Surely you don'y have enough material to fill a full half hour each day?!

Of course I do. Weird statement to make when you have no idea what I do for work. I have an entire category to trained up on and be responsible for within the next 2 months. Which requires full assistance from him.

OP posts:
SleeplessInEngland · 05/05/2022 11:01

It's rude but if you're reporting to him then I'm inferring (perhaps wrongly?) that he's your senior so I'm not sure what you can do about it.

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