How long did you wait before talking about getting engage

[Cheeseontoast32]

I mean having a serious talk with your partner about marriage.
Has anybody ever walked away from a relationship because their partner didn't want to marry them?

Engaged* meant to say

6 months.

We then had a serious talk after which we classed ourselves as engaged and booked a venue.

Will be 10 years this year.

He proposed out of the blue after about 2 years

We talked about it after 6 weeks but we didn’t actually get engaged for another 1.5 years, then we got married after being engaged for 6 months.

I never cared particularly about marriage. In the earlier part of our relationship our lives were full of other things. He was the one originally wanting marriage. He proposed after 5 years, in typical lighthearted fashion (I'm glad, I couldn't have taken a 'romantic' proposal seriously and he knows that's definitely not my thing). We'd both had a little too much to drink: I though he was joking. It became apparent the next day that he wasn't!

5 more years passed: there were family losses, relationship strains, I'd decided to do a PhD and my focus was mostly on that, life went on. Then we were deciding what we'd do to celebrate 10 years of being together. This time, I proposed to him!

I never saw it as an 'engagement'. Then again, non-marriage wouldn't have been a dealbreaker for me, but it wasn't important to me. I'm financially self-sufficient. In the end, though, we wanted to ensure that if something happened to one of us, the other would be legally protected.

Now over 20 years.

Told him in first few weeks that I wanted first baby before 30 (suspected I had gynae issues due to problem periods since they started - I was right) and that I wouldn't have a child outside of marriage (for pragmatic reasons not moral or religious) but I wasn't necessarily meaning I expected this to happen with him

At our 1st year anniversary of being together discussed in more depth on the premise it would possibly be with each other

Various more lighthearted conversations over time then around 2.5 years together he proposed spontaneously without a plan - he'd originally planned to do so for 3rd anniversary but a situation he was dealing with at work that I helped him with resolved and this prompted him to propose almost subconsciously! To the point I asked if he meant to say that!

He said yes but that he didn't know he did.

Married just after 3 years together

Ended in divorce but I don't think that was anything to do with how we got married

Ime and I have been flamed for this before! Where there's no proposal/engagement within 3 years there's either unlikely to be or the relationship doesn't last. That's from observing others relationships

We talked about getting married within a week of going out with each other, got engaged after 2 years and got married 2 years after that. We've been married for 20 years.

I think it depends on who you are. Me and dp were together 7 years before getting properly engaged. Before that I had pushed that I wanted to wait at least 3 years as my ex proposed after 6 months and I had felt trapped.
When it got to 3 years dp started looking at rings but random expenses always got in the way. Neither of us were particularly bothered about getting married. We will get round to it at some point. Both quite adamant we don't want a wedding so will elope when we have saved some cash.

We always spoke about it though, it was assumed from quite early on that we wanted to get married, we are both just a bit shit at getting round to it.

Just wanted to add, we were only 19 and 20 when we got together so although it was a long time, we were quote young. Been engaged for 4 years, just isn't a priority for us.

I've never had any interest in getting married: got married the first time round purely for logistical reasons (and bitterly regretted it). In the highly unlikely event that I ever decided to do it again I wouldn't waste time on being engaged, I have never seen the point of an engagement and I can't bear the tacky symbolism and Disneyfication of it.

You want to get married, you decide to get married, you get married. Simple.

We spoke about the hypothetical issue of marriage on our second date; discussed it seriously about the 3 month mark then got engaged about 18 months later. I was in my late 30s though.

I had a previous partner who never even wanted to discuss marriage and so I broke up with him after 4 years, I’d have married him but it was clear he didn’t want that. I am very very glad that was the decision as I’m so much happier with my husband!

He’s still single so I assume he just doesn’t want marriage or still waiting for the right girl.

No one should ever compromise on marriage and babies if that’s what you want. Forever is a long time to be miserable about your choice.

We moved in together after six weeks, bought first house one year later then married two years after that.

We would have got married sooner but couldn’t agree how to do it due to different religions and divorced parents etc. In the end we eloped and had two witnesses .

Still together and happy 36 years on with two amazing ds.

Not long...we got engaged after 6 weeks.

3 years... but we met when we were 19/21! Married at 24/26. DDs born when we were 25/27 and 26/29.

Had we been older it might have been a shorter dating/engaged window. But we wanted to get university/professional courses complete before planning the wedding.

Been married 12 years now.

About 18 months. I was 34 and wanted children so no time to waste.

About 7 years. Once we decided to get married everything went quite quickly. We were married about 5 months after we first discussed it.

To answer your other question: Would I walk away from a partner because they haven't proposed/initiated the conversation about marriage? No. I initiated the conversation about marriage with my partner because my circumstances changed and getting married had grown in importance to me. If I'd waited for my partner to propose I'd possibly still be waiting now.

However, would I have walked away if my partner had subsequently refused to get married? Probably, as to me it would have indicated my partner was not sure about our long-term future.

DH proposed after a month and we got married 5 months after meeting. We did see each other every day after the first date though even if only for an hour or so.

We celebrate 42 very happy years this year

Should have said, when we got married DH was 23 and I was 25

We got married after 11 years together and 2 kids. We've been married for 19 years this year, together 30. I'm not going to flame you, but I will say that your world is not the world.😊

9 years 😄

We spoke about getting married after one year and then we're engaged if you like. But on our first date I said I wanted to be in a marriage one day.

We spoke about it within a few months. We were living together after 5 months, engaged after another 16 months and married less than a year later. We were only 20 and 21 when we got married and despite now being divorced (still friends) I don't regret it atall!