ADHD-unhelpful school

[InSpaceNooneCanHearYouScream]

Apologies, posting for traffic.
I’ve posted before about my 20 year old son who has ADHD and was not diagnosed till age 16 by which time he had OCD too. I had always suspected he had ADHD but had never done anything about it, being unwilling to want to put a ‘label’ on him (which I now bitterly regret) and school never raised it as a potential issue, despite him frequently being in trouble for hyperactivity related incidents.
Anyway, his 13 yr old sister really struggles with maths and last year I got her a tutor for one hour a week. The tutor immediately flagged that she seemed to struggle in areas typical of someone with inattentive ADHD and asked if I’d had her tested. I explained no I hadn’t but I’d speak to school about it.
At the time I knew nothing about inattentive ADHD and upon looking into it, realised that DD had many of the features, including long standing anxiety, difficulty focussing, poor organisational skills and many more. I had simply discounted it because she is not hyperactive. So I was once again kicking myself. 🙄
So I explained all this to school and they duly said they would ask for feedback from all her teachers with a view to referring her for an assessment through the LA. But it has taken nearly a whole YEAR , and many chasings, just to get this feedback from the teachers, and the head of year has come back to me today, quite apologetically, attaching a copy of the feedback, which basically states that all the teachers think she focuses quite well and there are no concerns.😤

So he says that although he can still do a referral, it will be unlikely to be accepted, based on previous similar cases, and maybe try our GP instead. But I know for a fact if I try and get a referral through the GP when the school have no concerns, she’ll probably be turned away there too.

What’s pissing me off about this is what’s really going on is that DD isn’t focussing well at school at all, she’s just sitting quietly and behaving herself and keeping her head down, and the teachers know nothing about her.

Now what the fuck do I do? AIBU to be pissed off?

Sorry……long

This has to be seen through the lens of (i) being evidence based and (ii) prioritisation of limited resources (not just within school, but in terms of waiting lists and limited time with professionals who can assess).

The school are unacceptable to have taken a year. The views of multiple teachers does seem to suggest that there isn't a problem in school compared to the other kids, many of whom will be presenting with greater and more immediate need.

In reality, the evidence base they have collected does not support an assessment of ADHD, so it will not progress anywhere at all if they put her forward. They will also be taking that assessment away from a different child who - most likely - is noticeably presenting with ADHD in the classroom and perhaps doesn't have parents who can advocate for them.

Your chances of getting a referral through your GP are better than you think (albeit with a waiting list). The evidence base will be primarily around what you and the tutor have observed, with lesser input from the school. They are right to advise you to go down this route when the concerns are not primarily school led.

This sounds really tough. More needs to be done in schools. Sending hugs, keep pushing.

Try the GP. There is a genetic link so you have more chances to be listened to.

However, you are right, it should not have taken an year for the school to get feedback from teachers. Can you try a meeting with SENCO rather than the head of year? Make a note of behaviours and struggles observed at home as well and show them.

We have 2 DC who we’re late diagnosed one by CAMHS dragging their feet, the other school refused to support assessment

Both we’re finally assessed at 16 , DC1 by Camhs DC2 we paid. Best £1400 I’ve ever spent, assessment to treatment 6 weeks

without treatment they would never have got to the end of education as they were severely innattentive but very bright so achieving enough that school wasn’t bothered

Can the teachers back up their opinions that your dd focuses well enough through the grades she’s achieving? Or is she struggling across all the subjects despite being capable?

This sounds like my DH. He was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD as an adult.

But in school he did great, the setting suited him, he was clever and worked well.

It's functioning as an adult without the pressure and guidance of a school system he struggles with, with nobody to give him things to focus on or deadlines but himself.

You'll probably have to pay to go private op. It sucks but it seems like the only way to get things done quickly in this climate.

If you go private you may have more luck as at least they'll do an assessment rather than bounce the referral away. They also can do their own observations and a QB test. This may then mean a clinician is willing to diagnose even if school don't see it.

You could approach a company like 'ADHD 360' and discuss your predicament. I'm sure you won't be the first in this scenario!

Failing that - you could request an Educational Psychologist observe her. Maybe they could pick up something which could help a referral get accepted. You can pay privately, ask school to have her assessed or failing that ask for an EHCP needs assessment and the LA will send an Ed Psych to assess (although you'll likely need to appeal to tribunal to get an assessment agreed). An Ed Psych assessment is actually more useful in making sure school are doing the right things and have the right support in place.

Thank you for all your helpful comments. Lots of food for thought. Headteacher (and I assume you might be a headteacher? ) I completely see your point, but I can't help feeling very frustrated when my older son was one of the ones in greater need and got no help either.
Now that all the teachers seem to be saying she is fine, I feel if I go private it will seem I'm looking for issues that aren't there. But even if I go via the GP and somehow they agree to refer her for an assessment, I believe the wait time is around two years so will be no help for her GCSE's. And exams are one of her biggest problems, she finds it very difficult to retain information and impossible to revise.
Sigh.

Fairy this is a good point. Her teachers say she works hard and does well, yet she often does poorly in tests and I believe this to be due to difficulties from ADHD. I think her teachers think she is simply below average academically.

My niece was recently diagnosed privately. My sister was worried it wouldn't be passed as all her teachers said they'd had no issues. My niece is very bright and very keen to do well and masks her troubles incredibly well (I think this is more common for girls with adhd). If you can afford to go private i would do that.

If ADHD assessments are from CAMHS then the wait time won't be affected by who refers.
Where I am CAMHs wouldn't accept referrals from GPs it needs to come from school. If the GP tried to refer and CAMHS was in a good mood then they'd send the questionnaires out. CAMHS are very likely to reject the referral no matter who sends it, based on teachers scoring being low. A GP referral will not stop CAMHS wanting the questionnaires from school as part of their assessment and before deciding whether to offer an appointment.

negomi I've already been through the CAMHS wringer with my older son-I don't much fancy it again