Pranks

[OrlaOrchid]

As a kid, I used to play pranks, sometimes on friends or my sisters or cousins. They all pranked me too, it was fun and everyone did it. Ds seems to take after his me and loves to hatch an elaborate plan for a prank. AIBU to think that planning and playing pranks is a pretty normal part of growing up and harmless?

That was very kind of you to stop, lots would have enjoyed his confusion no doubt

laughing at someone else’s expense.

Is this always wrong? I mean fair enough you shouldn't orchestrate it, but have you never laughed at something you shouldn't find funny, like someone falling over? I have to stop myself laughing when my own DC hurt themselves sometimes (the way one flew off the zipline aged 5 still brings me some cackles).

Your son sounds a pain, you are the parent, tell him to stop and explain why.

Can you give another example?

depends on the outcome- everyone laughs fine! If someone feels left out or laughed at- maybe not so fine.

and it senior school- perhaps some older kids or mean kids would take it too far?

Could you explain to your son that “pretending” is really difficult for some people to understand, and some people don’t find it funny either.

I hate pranks. I was subject to physical pranks throughout school, people sticking their legs out pretending to trip me up, tickling until it was unbearable, I was also quite a literal person and therefore gullible to the “pretending” and made up stories. It was bullying. I laughed along of course, to admit that it was bothering me would have made it worse and been a red rag to a bull for the culprits. Out of the reactions of freeze, flight, fight or fawn, if I couldn’t run away in flight, it was a combination of freezing and then fawn.

“Pranks” to me is the equivalent of the word “banter” - it’s used to excuse terrible behaviour that is inappropriate and makes people uncomfortable but scared to make a fuss about.

Any ideas how to get DS to stop his fixation on pranks?

What would you do if he was physically hurting others? Oh yes, tell him to stop...

Yes its always wrong and no I have never done it

Hate them!

I think it's easy to misjudge pranks- especially in this day and age where you can easily film it happening.
Pranks can be funny but can be humiliating and bullying if it's always the same child being pranked.

OK, I do think this is slightly different, not the same as playing pranks on those outside the group.

They are a group, together they like doing this, they all find it funny.
That's fine, and it is a particular sense of humour and it is fine when it is contained within the group.

April Fools is basically pranking, and I used to do April Fools on my class as a teacher, gentle, and harmless ones, where they all laughed when they realised. (things like the date on theboard says 32nd March) No one person/child is the brunt of it.
The spaghetti tree on TV in the 1970s was and still is one of the best April Fools, and it is funny. Genuinely funny, but the key was that there was no victim.

So there is a place for them, but the problem is that is needs to be kept within that group, and kept in a place where it is still fun for all concerned. That can be a very fine line, and 10 year olds are not noted for their subtlety in negotiating those lines.

So I think it is time for a conversation, and for him and his friends to take note of the boundaries for this.

The problem is that if Ollie sees a boy on the ground crying and bleeding, and doesn't think it's a prank, there will be a (albeit short and temporary) time of distress. And while some people love that horror movie type thrill, a lot of people don't.

Even in one of the early replies on here, when the grandma smashes up a milky way and let's the baby eat it and tells the mum its cat poo...if I was that mum, I'd have a few moments of real panic and I'd be left feeling out if sorts even when I realised it wasn't true.

Kids do go through this phase I think soon after they start to understand which jokes are funny, they want to make their own funny stuff. So fairly normal.

fortunate they tend to grow out of it quickly as it’s so rare for both parties to find it funny

It's something most people grow out of at about the age of 9 or 10. Kid pranks are mostly harmless.

The story about mushing up a Milky Way and pretending it's cat shit - not funny in the slightest. Glad I don't know people who find that sort of thing funny.

I find doing pranks is a very monkey-like sense of humour. Most pranks are not funny, just mean.

He plans them in minute detail? WTAF.

The story about mushing up a Milky Way and pretending it's cat shit - not funny in the slightest. Glad I don't know people who find that sort of thing funny.

You might not find it funny, but there is nothing actually harmful about it. It's just ewwww disgusting what's he doing?! Oh it's just chocolate... Harmless

Yes its always wrong and no I have never done it

Fair enough. Laughing at people or whatever is just part of the family humour here. I can't help it tbh. DP told me he slipped on a sock one day and fell down the stairs, told me via text, of course ask if he's OK... But crikey, the image of him slipping on the sock like a cartoon and going down did make me laugh.

Grandad calls me and grandma witches... He says whenever he stubs his toe or whatever, he will hear a faint cackle somewhere in the house, almost like she made it happen 😅

But then, we can't actually choose what makes us laugh.

I always tell my kids I'm fine with pranks that don't hurt, scare or shame other people. For example covering the entire kitchen in silverfoil is an acceptable prank. Waking someone with an air horn isn't.

“Pranks” to me is the equivalent of the word “banter” - it’s used to excuse terrible behaviour that is inappropriate and makes people uncomfortable but scared to make a fuss about.

This, absolutely. The person who is "pranked" is commonly referred to as being the "victim of a prank" for good reason. And there is nothing good about victimising someone.