To want to eat indoors

10 replies

Goldybear · 03/05/2022 21:42

We are going on our first family holiday soon (just in uk not abroad) My husband is still extremely cautious about covid. We are all fully vaxxed but he's convinced he had it in april 2020 (but was never tested) neither of us have ever tested positive for covid.
He has read some literature that says that reinfection of covid can damage your brain and this is why he won't take ANY risk.
I have agreed that we will eat outdoors in restaurants most of the time but i want to have one family meal in a specific restaurant where my family members are going (they do not have outdoor area) but he is refusing to come. I know i should just go alone with the rest of my family members but I'd really like my husband there especially given we haven't gone anywhere or done anything since before the pandemic.

He doesn't try to stop me doing things just refuses to go himself which I guess is his perogative but it's really starting to annoy me.

Like i think there are some things that are worth the risk and one of those is having fun with family especially when it's just for ONE night. In all liklihood we won't catch covid and we'll just have a nice night.

OP posts:

WeAreTheHeroes · 03/05/2022 21:46

Go for the meal with your family. It's one meal and presumably you eat with your husband at home every day. Tell him you would prefer it if he would come along, but you understand why he doesn't want to.

LubaLuca · 03/05/2022 21:48

Of course you just go without him. It's his rule, you don't need to go along with it.

dementedpixie · 03/05/2022 21:49

He can't live like that forever. He's free to be cautious but you don't have to go along with it

nearlyspringyay · 03/05/2022 21:59

You don't have to follow his 'rules'.

justfiveminutes · 03/05/2022 21:59

Stop pandering to him. He'll soon relax his ridiculous rules when he's sitting outside by himself for every meal.

Kite22 · 03/05/2022 22:21

You should go without him.
Frankly, I think you are pandering to him by eating outside the rest of the time. It's freezing here.
But if there is somewhere special you want to go with your family, then you should go and let him know how disappointed you are in him, and how sad it is making you.

This is completely different from someone who is clinically vulnerable / has no, or little immune system.

Original poster

Goldybear · 03/05/2022 22:22

justfiveminutes · 03/05/2022 21:59

Stop pandering to him. He'll soon relax his ridiculous rules when he's sitting outside by himself for every meal.

He really wouldn't. I think he may be autistic, he genuinely wouldn't care if we ate indoors and he ate outdoors.

I know he will come to the meal if I nag him and tell him it means a lot to me but he'll be stressed out worrying about covid and neither of us will enjoy it. So I guess I'm just going to go alone.

But like @dementedpixie said he can't live like that forever.... and I don't want to live like this forever not having my husband with me for family get togethers or enjoy a nice meal or a movie in cinema together.
It just makes me sad that he won't do those things now.

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Icequeen01 · 03/05/2022 22:27

Seems utterly daft to me. If he's so anxious about going then surely he will be anxious about you going and bringing it home to him?

Let him do what he wants but don't let him suck the joy out of life for you too.

ImAvingOops · 03/05/2022 22:27

What is the source of this literature? Could his view be changed if it wasn't from a scientifically respectable source?

Original poster

Goldybear · 03/05/2022 22:32

@Icequeen01 He is anxious about that too but knows he cannot control me so won't say anything about me doing things.

@ImAvingOops I think it's a reputable source it's pretty widely accepted that covid make changes to people neurology and I'm sure some people who get it multiple times in their life may have very negative effects on their brain but we could be hit by a car tomorrow and killed.... I want to enjoy my life while I'm still here.

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