To buy my 15 year old a vape

[Notagoodtime]

I discovered nearly a year ago that my 15 year old ds was vaping. I told him how disappointed I was and hoped that he would listen.Anyway over the last year we have had lots of discussions about it and I’ve tried to persuade him not to and even as gone as far as punishing him when I’ve found vapes in his bedroom. He has recently told me he wants to stop but is addicted to the nicotine. He has asked me for help. He has suggested that I buy him a lower nicotine vape and let him have it daily for a short time. I know little about e- cigarettes and I’m not sure the right way to go about this. He says he currently vapes the highest strength. Apparently half his year do at school in the toilets. Any advice greatly appreciated.

Please don't. Interestingly, I had a meeting with the smoking cessation person at my local hospital recently. He told me that only the UK recommend using vapes as a smoking cessation aid. Granted, I can't guarantee that's true, or if so why other countries don't recommend them, but it gave me pause for thought.

I used one for a few days, and my chest was horrendous. Much worse than when I was smoking, and much worse than when I completely stopped smoking.

Is he using the type that's topped up with liquid, or the pod type?

it is only a matter of time before teenagers trade oils for thc oils

That's probably why he's trying to manoeuvre his mum into buying them - so he's got more to trade

I liked your use of the key word "independent" there, Allthe4s
As you suggest, it's possible to find this stuff but not always easy - and that cuts both ways, especially now tobacco companies are buying into the vape industry to protect their margins

Overall, so much "research" is sponsored by somebody or other these days that it complicates things massively, particularly when the sponsors have a financial axe to grind

There is no link between vaping and cancer. It doesn’t have the same carcinogens as a cigarette.
Wasn't that the line regularly used by cigarette companies for years.

Vaping is relatively new, whether it causes cancer remains to be seen, the people convinced it won't do more damage than good.

They are an excellent device for quitting smoking and a disaster creating a whole new generation of nicotine addicts.

I have teens. They wouldn't dream of either smoking or vaping, they have more sense. But if they had at 14, I would have made sure they couldn't be buying it as I would make sure they had no money.
Its not hard. Teens can't buy things that are bad for them if they don't have access to cash.

@MissusMaisel I would have said the same a year ago. My son is bright, goes to a grammar school. Is sensitive, caring and always been my easiest child. You can’t and shouldn’t say your kids wouldn’t do it. Lots of my friends say the same thing, but I know their kids do. Your comments are not helpful.

There's some horribly judgey perfect parents on here. Teens have sneaked ciggies for generations - it's not a parenting fail and I don't believe those keyboard critics have raised a teenager

@Hobbesmanc Thank you 😊. I have been questioning what I have could have done better, so you have made feel less guilty. The teen years are definitely the most testing as parents!

I've seen some hyperbole's in my time on Mumsnet but comparing heroin to vaping is up there.

I know it's not easy OP, but just think about it. You find out at 14 that he's doing this. You attempt to stop him and he becomes addicted. And that means, having defied you for the last year and being in exactly the position you warned him about, his argument is that you need to reward that with a more sophisticated version of the item that you've already told him he shouldn't have.

Tell him to get up the yard. Little chancer. He has you for a right fool.

Nicotine is no worse than caffeine? Really?! 🤔

@EmeraldShamrock1 Exactly right. Years ago we were actually told that cigarettes were good for our health. That's why many started smoking. Its only recently scientists have proven that they do cause cancer. The side effects of vaping are unproven right now. But with the chemicals and nicotine I honestly believe that in time, we will discover that they do cause cancer.

It is not your teenagers fault or your fault.

It's a billion pound industry with marketing tactics that reel in the teenagers.

Influencer's are advertising them, my niece's and their friends use the little colorful jar of nicotine again lots of Influential Instagram people advertising them, profits have increased by 300%.

Millions of people including myself got fooled into nicotine addiction it costs thousands before you consider stopping.

All you can do is advise your son on the longterm costs and health issues.

OP reducing the nicotine strength is not the way to go. Even lower nicotine is prolonging the addiction. In fact by agreeing to the lower strength you are reinforcing the idea that it is a difficult habit to break and this will make it even harder for him.

He needs to go cold turkey. 2-3 days and the nicotine will be out his system then the cravings are just psychological.

I had so many failed attempted at quitting. Cutting down and lowering strengths... it's just making it harder... it makes quitting seem like a bigger deal than it is. The best way is cold turkey, like ripping a plaster off.

He's managed to pay for his own vapes so far. What's changed? I think he's conning you.

I would have said the same a year ago. My son is bright, goes to a grammar school. Is sensitive, caring and always been my easiest child. You can’t and shouldn’t say your kids wouldn’t do it. Lots of my friends say the same thing, but I know their kids do. Your comments are not helpful.

If it makes you feel better I was a grammar school girl who did well in exams, held down a part-time job through A' levels, and was caring and polite, and I smoked like a chimney from 16 to 32. Parents were both non-smokers and I was clued up on the risks. It's not poor parenting, it's poor decision making on the part of the teen, which is pretty normal. Some smoke, some take drugs, some date 'bad boys', some sack off their education or training. At some point, however bright, kind, and well brought up they are, they make daft choices because that is part of being a teenager. The parents' job at this stage is advice, support, protection, and damage limitation, which you're doing.

He’s asked for help: find him help. I don’t see why that means a new vape but would suggest speaking to a GP / addiction clinic who may suggest nicotine patches or stuff we haven’t thought of

At this age, he relies on you for his funds to buy vapes...stop the flow of income so he can't afford to buy it.

Recent? Scientists knew in the 1940's that smoking caused cancer!

Exactly!

No. Way. He needs to go cold turkey. Get him some gum.

Seeing as you need to be 18 to buy vapes and associated juices etc in the UK where is he buying them from? Find out and get them reported for starters.

Next school holidays ground him & he can go cold turkey - take up something addictive and harmful then you can experience the unpleasantness of getting off it too

Where does he get the money/

Any kid, no matter what they're into, how smart they are, how caring they are etc can end up smoking. Doesn't make them a bad kid in the slightest and it's not the parents fault in the slightest. I've smoked since the age of 15 and am in my twenties now, my mum never smoked, no one other than one person of my entire family smoked, I've always been a pretty good kid. My friends who smoke (pretty much the lot of them as it's the norm here and we all started at the same age) are from all different backgrounds, some are very very successful in their fields now but more importantly, they're all leading really nice lives.

If your son is serious about quitting, then I would definitely recommend Alan Carr's book on how to quit smoking. It takes a few tries and isn't the holy grail of getting you to quit (case in point, I'm smoking again nowadays) but there is such a fantastic explanation of everything that's happening to your body etc that I still think about day to day. It's a wonderful tool that can help him, it's not that long, it's affordable. But it'll only have an effect if he actually wants to quit.

Also just a note, if he's addicted to nicotine then there is absolutely nothing that you can do about this. If you confiscate his vape he will go out and get another one, if you punish him for vaping he'll end up feeling like shit as nicotine addiction feels out of your control and he'll end up vaping more than usual to compensate for that feeling. I'm sure he'll soon realise that the most annoying part of the habit is the amount of money you lose!