I've been with my partner (on/off) for about 8 years. We got back together during COVID - by which we both appeared to be on the same page - e.g. ready for commitment, TTC and ready to do that together.
Things were all going pretty well. Until a) he started a new job and b) I decided to go to the Drs to investigate possible fertility issues. This was obviously pretty stressful for me, some blood tests came back with issues and it's led me to be on an urgent referral to the hospital. I went alone to my appt. At that appt they diagnosed me with adenomyosis; I'm 35. They said everything looks "normal" but that I would be referred to a fertility clinic to investigate further. At that point they ask how often we're having sex etc. which has made me realise... that we're not having sex as much as we should be (they said 3-4 x a week).
I've begun to look at my relationship. And... I'm not sure I'm getting what I need out of it. I feel that he does not bring much to the relationship - both in terms of sex (3-4 x a month at best, and it's not as good as it used to be), emotional support (he's not asked once about how I feel about my diagnosis, nor does he know what it actually means) but also in terms of doing jobs around the house etc. Everything is left to me. In fact I've had to hire a cleaner because I simply couldn't cope with working full time in the office whilst he WFHs and creates a mess. The night of my diagnosis, he leaves me to come home to an empty flat because he's gone to his parents to watch football. He doesn't want to talk about anything because it's "stressful". For the last few weeks I've tried to talk to him but he asks me not to. I do not know where to go to... I feel like all that he's said to me before has just been words, there's no action that he wants the same things I do. And it's reached a boiling point because I want to pursue having a baby. Tonight as an example - I got home from work late. He was WFH all day. He's slobbing on the sofa. I have to make my own dinner. When does it get to the point where enough is enough? AIBU to expect my partner to make me dinner if I'm not getting home until 8pm?! I cook for him almost every other night, would 1 night be so difficult? He's told me that I'm a joke tonight, that my expectations are too high, that I'm so selfish. Am I??
I want a baby more than anything. Is it time for me to go it alone bearing in mind my partner appears to not even want a conversation about this, even when he knows it's the most important thing to me? is enough, enough?