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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Childminder retainer

23 replies

Heracles1000 · 03/05/2022 10:57

I'll just start by saying I completely understand the idea of a retainer for a childminder and am happy to pay but want to know if I'm being unreasonable.

We've found a childminder that we like, who is available for the days we want. She has said she wants to take on another child from July as that's when she will have a space.

However she wants a retainer from May - July, 50% of fees. WIBU to point out that she has indicated that she isn't available before July so it's unfair to charge a 50% non refundable retainer?

OP posts:
DockOTheBay · 03/05/2022 11:03

Seems wrong that she will be getting paid for nothing from you and also getting paid by the parent of the current child.

However I assume it is more to show that you're serious because she doesn't want to get to July and you say "oh we've changed our minds" and then she has a space to fill and won't be paid for it until she finds someone else. You're less likely to change your mind if you've already committed financially, and if you do change your mind then she has a bit of extra money to get her through the month or so while she finds an alternative

Original poster
Heracles1000 · 03/05/2022 11:05

Seems wrong that she will be getting paid for nothing from you and also getting paid by the parent of the current child.

There isn't a current child.

I'd also be happy to pay a refundable retainer, or one that I can use towards the cost of future childcare.

OP posts:
2anddone · 03/05/2022 11:11

I am a childminder and would only charge a retainer if the place was already available but YOU didn't want it until a later date, then I would usually either charge half fee or a no refundable deposit depending on how long you wanted me to hold the space for.

If I didn't have the space until a later date but you wanted to have the space as soon as it became available I would charge a deposit which could be used towards your first months fees once you started and kept by myself if you then changed your mind.
I agree it's a bit cheeky to charge for a space that isn't even available!

PinkWisteria · 03/05/2022 11:11

My understanding is that a retainer is only applicable when the place is actually available. Maybe have a discussion with the childminder about paying a deposit that will be set against future fees once the place is available. Confirms you are serious about securing the place and you are not paying for a place that doesn't exist yet.

Comefromaway · 03/05/2022 11:14

I agree with you. I would pay a retainer if the space was available now and she was holding it open or I would pay a non refundable deposit to be credited against future fees.

I'd be checking her other terms as if she is getting the definition of a retainer muddles you might find other things such as her charging for her own sick/holiday days (not yours) with no limit as to the number etc.

DockOTheBay · 03/05/2022 11:22

Heracles1000 · 03/05/2022 11:05

Seems wrong that she will be getting paid for nothing from you and also getting paid by the parent of the current child.

There isn't a current child.

I'd also be happy to pay a refundable retainer, or one that I can use towards the cost of future childcare.

There must be a current child, or she would have a space now. If she doesn't have a space until July it must be because she has a full quota of children at the moment.

Original poster
Heracles1000 · 03/05/2022 11:37

There must be a current child, or she would have a space now. If she doesn't have a space until July it must be because she has a full quota of children at the moment.

She's indicated she's not in a position to offer a space until July due to family reasons.

OP posts:
OfstedOffred · 03/05/2022 11:40

She's indicated she's not in a position to offer a space until July due to family reasons.

If she's not in a position to provide childcare she should not be charging you for it.

nokidshere · 03/05/2022 11:45

She's not charging for the space she's charging to save it for you and not advertise for someone else in the meantime. If you change your mind before July she will be left with no money and a free space which she will then need to find someone else to fill.

thewhatsit · 03/05/2022 11:48

Yes agree with PPs - retainer fine only if you are asking her to delay (so she loses out on money by taking you on). In this case a deposit - refundable! - would be the only thing that would be fair.

Comefromaway · 03/05/2022 11:51

nokidshere · 03/05/2022 11:45

She's not charging for the space she's charging to save it for you and not advertise for someone else in the meantime. If you change your mind before July she will be left with no money and a free space which she will then need to find someone else to fill.

In which case she should be charging a non refundable deposit to be credited against future fees.

Foolsrule · 03/05/2022 11:54

Doesn’t sound right to me. Why would you pay for nothing?!

shiningstar2 · 03/05/2022 11:54

I think that is unreasonable. A fee to keep the space for you, non refundable if you change your mind is fair enough but not half fees for a place that's not there.

Original poster
Heracles1000 · 03/05/2022 12:26

Thanks everyone. I've asked her to confirm the nature of the fees and her earliest available slot. We really like her, and are happy to pay a deposit that is used towards childcare fees, a much smaller retainer or a refundable deposit.

My husband said it's like telling your new job you have 3 months notice but they need to start paying you now, before you start.

OP posts:
honeylulu · 03/05/2022 12:42

Hopefully the issue is just terminology. She may mean she is asking for a non refundable deposit. If/ when you do start it can be offset against the fees. But she can't be paid a retainer in respect of a time period when she is unable to provide the service.

Retainers are usually paid to hold a place open at times when the customer does not wish to actively use it. Ie she has a place now but you don't want your child to start yet. The retainer guarantees the place for when you're ready but compensates her for not having a space to offer to another customer in the meantime. Our childminder had some kids with teacher parents. They didn't need the holiday care although it was available so the childminder accepted a retainer of reduced fees for those weeks to save the space.

She can't really ask to be paid for a service she is not providing. But take care not to agree to it because once it's in a contract you might not be able to challenge it. It's a bit like nurseries/minders having a clause that they are paid for bank holidays even though the setting is not open (that one is very common).

Shoebie · 03/05/2022 12:46

If there isn't a space currently then no she cannot charge a retainer. She could ask for a deposit to be used against the first invoice though or something similar. I also see why she wants to ensure she isn't keeping the space open for you to potentially then not use it; but she also can't charge when she can't provide the service. I'd be slightly concerned to be honest going forward about what her attitude towards fees will be, but if she is good in other ways just make sure you have an iron tight contract and be firm on sticking to it.

Deadringer · 03/05/2022 12:48

It's ridiculous to charge you a retainer if she isn't actually available, I think a deposit might be appropriate though.

Original poster
Heracles1000 · 23/05/2022 15:29

Just to update I ended up paying the retainer as she said that she had spaces available immediately. She has since withdrawn the space and left us starting from scratch to find childcare for July.

OP posts:
Original poster
Heracles1000 · 23/05/2022 15:30

Should have listened to all of you 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:
FlibbertyGiblets · 23/05/2022 15:33

Has she refunded to you?

Nothappyatwork · 23/05/2022 15:33

Heracles1000 · 03/05/2022 12:26

Thanks everyone. I've asked her to confirm the nature of the fees and her earliest available slot. We really like her, and are happy to pay a deposit that is used towards childcare fees, a much smaller retainer or a refundable deposit.

My husband said it's like telling your new job you have 3 months notice but they need to start paying you now, before you start.

Well don’t laugh but that is actually happening at the moment. Staff are in such demand

PrawnToast5 · 23/05/2022 15:37

FlibbertyGiblets · 23/05/2022 15:33

Has she refunded to you?

She will, but it's just frustrating that it was so predictable.

FlibbertyGiblets · 23/05/2022 18:29

A shame really, good luck in your resumed search for July.

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