To be signed off work because I'm 'just' exhausted?

[TheseAreMyGoodPants]

Hi all. Apologies if I ramble a bit.

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with my 2nd baby. Unlike my first pregnancy, which was a breeze, this one has been quite difficult (sickness until 25 weeks, still getting bouts of severe nausea now, SPD which has required physiotherapy but thankfully has improved now, migraines, nosebleeds, having to take aspirin and have regular scans and consultant appointments).

Thankfully baby is absolutely fine and healthy but obviously I've found things tough going. I've continued to work 40-45 hours a week throughout this pregnancy in quite a physically demanding job (I work in a lab so on my feet pretty much all day). This is on top of caring for my 3 year old. Even my colleagues have expressed surprise at how well I'm doing.

The thing is though, recently I've not been coping very well. Over the past few weeks I've been feeling increasingly exhausted and fed up. I've found myself crying or on the verge of tears pretty much every day. I'm not sleeping or eating particularly well. I hate leaving the house and dread going to work which is unusual as I normally love my job. I've been very snappy and impatient with my partner and 3 year old and then feel horribly guilty.

I spoke to my midwife on Friday who said I may have antenatal depression, or at the very least am exhausted and need a break. I've already told my work I will be taking mat leave earlier than originally planned (was going to go at 37 weeks but now will be going at 35). I have also asked to take any annual leave I have accrued.

I will be contacting my GP on Tuesday to ask about being signed off after my AL has been used up. However, I am worried that simply being a bit fed up/exhausted is not a 'good enough' reason to get signed off? I am a huge people pleaser and worry work will think I'm simply being a CF by asking to be signed off, even though I genuinely feel like I need a break. I am fortunate to have never suffered from any mental health issues so I have no idea if what I'm feeling is simply normal pregnancy tiredness and I just need to get on with it!

Please get signed off. You need to look after yourself, particularly just before a major life change. Work will still be there in 6-9-12 months.

You’re not fit to be at your job, the why’s/wherefore don’t matter!

You're pregnant!!!
Of course it's allowed for you to be exhausted- that is definitely a good enough reason!

I self cert'd for a week during my second pregnancy. Similar stage. It really helped. You are not a machine.

It's important to look after yourself. Ideally you might have used some annual leave to go part-time earlier so you didn't get so exhausted, but now it sounds like you really need to be signed off. Your employer can put you straight into maternity leave if you are signed off beyond 36 weeks. How will this affect your maternity leave time after having the baby, is that your concern?

There is a cut off where Mat leave is automatically triggered so double check if you take sick. But your only reason isn’t that you’re ‘just’ exhausted is it? You’ve had a tough pregnancy SpD etc and your job is standing all day.

i got signed off when I had gest diabetes for a week. My doctor wanted me to spend some time working on my sugars. The stress of my commute/then an office based jobs was sending my body haywire! He was right, the week off gave me time to regulate. To request a relocation to a local office to reduce my commute etc. I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself and think about the here and now, which is you and this baby and do what’s best for you both.

I'm 30 weeks and work part time with spd. I find it painful and hard to walk after 8 hours on my feet. Would not be able to do 40 hours. I would ask to be signed off. Spd is a pregnancy condition that is quite painful. You need to think about your self. As I read that it doesn't get better until the baby is born.

If I'm signed off sick after 36 weeks it will automatically trigger maternity leave. But I'm planning on going at 35 weeks anyway. Thank you all.

Take a week off sick OP then use your annual leave. Be good to you, I think you really need to recuperate before baby is born.

Is it just worth checking with your manager first whether you can go onto different duties for a short time - a project that you can do sitting down or working from home? Would that make much/any difference?

Self certificate now for a week then see how you feel

It's not 'just exhaustion' it's nausea, spd, migraine etc. as well - plus your midwife is concerned!

You need to look after yourself and baby. Contact work today and get on bed rest

I think you should, and especially as the midwife's advice has been sought. I hope that by taking a rest it can make a difference and good luck with the impending birth.

I'd ask about different duties and see what they say. Or just finish early, I did for my two.

You’re not “just exhausted” though, are you? You are legitimately unwell. You’ve had a tough pregnancy with complications and you are at a higher risk. Please be kind to yourself and give yourself a (mental and physical!) break. Take the time off and put your feet up. :)

I agree with @Teder get signed off and rest, spend some time with your DC. In the past it used to be usual to start mat leave from 28 weeks. We are so hard on ourselves, I loved those weeks off at home with my first while I was pregnant with my second.

Thanks all. I have spoken to my work and I have 10 days holiday accrued, so they are happy for me to take the next 10 days off and see how I feel. If I still feel the same towards the end of the 10 days I will ask my GP about getting signed off.

I’m not sure that’s very fair of them if I’m honest, recuperating from exhaustion isn’t a holiday!

@AgnesNaismith To be honest I would prefer to take holiday initially as it's full pay. I'm only entitled to statutory sick pay if I'm signed off which would be considerably less than what I earn now. At least if I'm on holiday I won't have the extra worry of finances initially (I'm paid weekly).

Makes sense, hope you feel better soon 💐

Definitely get signed off if you can. Don't push your body.

I had severe SPD and had no idea I could have been signed off, got physio that would have helped, nothing. Nothing was signposted to me except a group class on the NHS which was just advice I'd already found online. I dragged myself into work every day (office job but long commute). I still had pain after the birth and when I finally saw a physio she said I should have been given a wheelchair. I will now always have a weakness there, it doesn't affect day to day life but if I move 'wrong' I feel it.

I tried physio for SPD it didn’t work. NHS physio just did a couple of things gave me a. Belt and said come back for crutches WHEN you need them! I went to an osteopath and he kept me walking! Flipping miracle worker!

Read here for your h&s rights a few paragraphs down. They should adjust breaks, give you the opportunity to sit down. If they can’t then they can suspend you on full pay.

Maternity Action

aw bless you OP. I havea similar job and we get punted to desk jobs
I couldn't walk the length of a hall without needing to lie down
get signed off. You probably worked like a dog through covid too.

Do take the time and rest. You work hard enough sounds like.

I’m usually a bit fgs at people getting signed off for stuff like this, but honestly love you sound more than ‘just a bit fed up’. Get yourself signed off.