AIBU to wonder if friend is being scammed?

[Rosina987]

DF is 65. 6 years ago, she met a man aged 29 from Morocco (he was in the UK doing a short course) . He approached her in a pub and they started a romantic relationship. He returned to Morocco after his course and DF spent 2 years getting the UK Home office to agree for him to come to live in UK. She married him in Morocco in a bid to convince the Home Office it was a genuine relationship. The Home Office then agreed for him to come to live in the UK 4 and a half years ago.
All has been fine since he arrived and DF is very happy.

I can't help but worry that now he has been here nearly 5 years and can apply for indefinite leave to remain, he might not stick around. I worry that DF is being duped that he loves her and wonder if he is just after a British passport.

Am I being too cynical or do these massive age gap relationships sometimes work out okay?

I haven't expressed any worries to DF as I have chosen to remain supportive (especially since her family have reacted so badly to her relationship).

Just out of curiosity did your friend not think that her husband might want children of his own?

That's an interesting question and it would be my first one if I were in my sixties and met a young man. It was mine when I met someone less than ten years younger.

He's probably playing the long game, but it's transactional rather than a scam unless your friend really is simple.

Also what the f is so good about a British Passport?!! That bit is lost on me. It would make more sense for him to try and get a French one. Easier too.

Also what the f is so good about a British Passport?!! That bit is lost on me. It would make more sense for him to try and get a French one. Easier too.*

You are overthinking this. His strategy was probably to marry a European woman. An old British one agreed so he married her. That's not to say that he wouldn't have married a French or German had he had the chance

If it’s a transactional relationship maybe he should entitled to some assets upon divorce? He’s put the time and effort in.

I agree with pp, they are using each other.

@Rosina987 What did you get told the last time you posted about this?

Can't imagine the responses are any different now. 😐

It seems more than likely he isn't genuine. However what can u do . Just be there for her really .she is happy atm .if all goes tips up ,just be a friend. Sadly older people continue to be scammed it seems

He says he doesn't want children and DD believes him.

No I didn't raise it at the start as other people had already done so and it seemed cruel to give her more negative views. DF's family have distanced themselves and have limited contact with DF over this. It would have seemed to have been putting the boot in to add my opinions into the mix.

This is awful. Does she has anyone she trusts who she can temporarily gift her assets to to then reclaim once she has divorced this man?

Does she have

Or another way out of this mess

She doesn't want to divorce him. She loves him.

Wasn't it OPs aunt last time?

The problem here is that even if this man is genuine, it’s a sad fact that there are so many who aren’t.

I am about as cynical as they come, I am absolutely certain the Moroccan taxi driver is a scammer as is the Pakistani overstayer who is claiming asylum because of a family row.

But, I have a friend who met a bloke from Nigeria online about 13 years ago. Even the Nigerian embassy were dubious of her travelling over there to meet him on her own but she did, and they started a relationship. They married over there and she got her MP involved to get him a visa to enter the UK.

She has a disability and other serious health problems and absolutely everyone kept telling her he was clearly only in it for a visa. He too is younger than her, and people essentially questioned why he would become involved with someone with that many issues if there wasn’t something in it for him.

But he’s still around. he got his visa 7 years ago and didn’t skip off into the sunset, in fact he has stuck with her through some serious life issues, and there is absolutely no reason to think he’s using her at this stage. She has no assets, so if he was after a visa he could have skipped off as soon as he got one, but he didn’t.

I would say just be there for your friend, if it goes wrong then you can support her, if it doesn’t, then fair enough, not every Moroccan is a con artist, even if many are.

I wondered what happened to that couple..

Oh no. OP is it YOU who has been wooed by this conman?

You may well love him but that love is built on lies. You really think a 29 yr old man would look twice at a woman in her 60s? Come on now.