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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Think I am done

22 replies

reallythinkitsover · 01/05/2022 17:37

NC cos people know who I am on here in real life, posted before about my MIL and her antics, me and DH had a blazing row other day about how I am never put first/ thought about, told him I was done unless he changed, he walked out went to his mums 1 day later he is back apologising saying he cannot live there, but tbf that night was bliss just me and kids,

He decided to come home and thinks we can just live in the same house but seperately (aint gonna work long term told him I could for the short term until we split) he agreed now his mother is demanding he is there for meals as we are not together (and does not trust me to feed him - her words) which is basically batshit he is a grown man, but these rules are inpacting on the time I feed the kids etc so he can be here after he has eaten and expects them to wait for food FFS am going mad

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 01/05/2022 17:39

No. Just no.
You'll feed the children when you see fit. Nothing he can do about it. Again, just tell him no..

WallaceinAnderland · 01/05/2022 17:43

Could you clarify please, are you separating ?

Pinksalty · 01/05/2022 17:44

Have you posted about this guy before?

NarcissasMumintheDoghouse · 01/05/2022 17:44

Start as you mean to go on. You configure your, and your DCS's routines and timetables to suit you and them. If he and his mum wantbto playvsilly b@ggers abount his dinner, then they need to fit round you, not the other way round. The sooner you establish that things are different now, and yours is now a separate household where he is no longer a central figure, the better for expectations further along.

RoyKentsChestHair · 01/05/2022 17:45

Any do you or his mum have to feed him? Does he not have use of his arms?

CheeseBoard2022 · 01/05/2022 17:45

Just feed the kids. He's an grown arse man, it's not your job to cook for him your not even together!

reallythinkitsover · 01/05/2022 17:46

No not posted before, and yes we are I have had years of being 3rd 4th eveen 10th place on his priority list

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 01/05/2022 17:48

So stop listening to what hes demanding of you and do your own thing. Get him out as soon as you can.

WallaceinAnderland · 01/05/2022 17:50

What is your housing situation, is it jointly owned/rented?

Fupoffyagrasshole · 01/05/2022 17:52

What are you talking about? I’m not sure why this has anything to do with yours or the kids eating time? Just make food when suits you for you and the kids? Not seeing the issue

reallythinkitsover · 01/05/2022 17:53

Joint own our home but I have inherited jointly a property with my brother also he has no pension I do so think I will be screwed

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 01/05/2022 17:55

Feed your kids.
Why are you even entertaining this?

reallythinkitsover · 01/05/2022 17:57

I am not entertaining it but getting abuse because I have

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 01/05/2022 18:00

Ignore and cary on you are. What kind of abuse ?

Notimeforaname · 01/05/2022 18:00

As you are*

FlowerArranger · 01/05/2022 18:01

How long since you inherited?
The sooner you start divorce proceedings the better.
Get up to speed on the whole process.
Gather all financial documents.
Then see a family solicitor.

MzHz · 01/05/2022 18:01

Abuse from who? From him?

tell him to wind it in, he’s leaving and you have kids to raise. What you decide to feed them and when is your business

WallaceinAnderland · 01/05/2022 18:05

reallythinkitsover · 01/05/2022 17:53

Joint own our home but I have inherited jointly a property with my brother also he has no pension I do so think I will be screwed

You need legal advice regarding the inheritance. You may be able to ringfence this but I'm not sure. Does he know that you are separating. Is this serious or is he expecting you to forget about it and carry on as normal.

chisanunian · 01/05/2022 18:24

reallythinkitsover · 01/05/2022 17:53

Joint own our home but I have inherited jointly a property with my brother also he has no pension I do so think I will be screwed

No you won't be screwed, because you have the dc to look after, and that would be taken into consideration.

Butterfly44 · 01/05/2022 18:36

The answer to his question of cohabiting and living separately is no. He can go stay at his mums - who cares if he can't stand it. Initiate divorce proceedings. Move forwards to freedom!!

reallythinkitsover · 01/05/2022 19:30

I inheriated last year

OP posts:
Zerrin13 · 01/05/2022 21:19

This is totally fucking batshit crazy!

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